Main Text: Matt.7:7-12
Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets. (Matthew 7:12 KJV)
The battle of the in-laws has to do with those challenges you face in marriage as a result of faulty relationship with the relatives of your spouse.
One of the major causes of the battle of in-laws is the difficulty of letting go. If your spouse belongs to a family in which he or she occupies a significant position, i.e. the firstborn or last-born, the only male or female or the only one that has prospered in the family, it may be difficult for the family to let go. The spouse of such a person is seen as a competitor who has come to take away their own. In such a situation, it is difficult to please the family members.
Another cause of the battle of the in-laws is the inability to come to the realization that despite being the most significant person in the life of your spouse, you alone can’t really own him or her. Your spouse must give you and the children priority but it may not be reasonable to completely ignore his family.
When you are in a situation in which you are at loggerheads with your spouse’s family, it may be better to ask yourself the following questions:
* Have I been fair to them or have I seen them as my competitors?
* Have I really accepted them as my own family members?
* Have I really been sincere to myself on the cause of the conflict?
* Have I put myself in the shoes of my in-laws?
* Have I made my in-laws to see from my point of view?
* Have I prayed for wisdom to handle the matter when it appears difficult?
* Even If l have been maltreated, have I prayed that God should fight for me rather than fighting for myself?
Many marriages have been destroyed by the battle of the in-laws because the battle is often a fierce one. You must really ask yourself the questions above so as to determine whether or not you have been the real cause of the problem. You must not lose your home to the battle but you must fight fair. A lot of your attack and defence may have to be on your knees rather than making it physical.
Discussion Points With Your Spouse
* Sincerely share your feelings about each other’s family members with each other.
* Is there anything that may be useful for you in relating with your in-laws from the above? Share with each other.
I receive divine wisdom to relate with the relatives of my spouse towards peaceful coexistence between us in Jesus’ name.
YOUR IN-LAWS ARE NOT YOUR ENEMIES; IF YOU TREAT THEM AS YOUR OWN, THEY WILL ACCEPT YOU AS THEIR OWN. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi