Text: Eccl.4:9-12

MEMORY: Eccl.4:12
And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

When you newly fall in love and during the early years of marriage, emotions rule your actions and reactions and keep your relationship pleasurable. However, after a period of time which varies from one couple to the other, you will discover that emotions will give way to reality. In fact, those features like the shape of particular parts of her body, style of movement and even sex to some extent progressively lose their appeal. That is when the test of commitment comes to play. You will then start seeing each other’s faults. At such times, you may do things that will irretrievably harm your marriage. A responsible man or woman should be able to realize at this stage that despite the faults of his or her spouse, commitment to the vows of marriage should now be what will keep the relationship going.
Couples who make it to the end are not the ones who never had reason to get divorced or never fought; they are simply those who decided early in their marriages that their commitment to each other was going to be greater than their differences and flaws; they are the ones that decided earlier on that whatever happened along the journey of marriage, their marriage would be ‘…till death do us part.’
You must realize that nothing, under normal circumstances, should really be big enough to make you think of separation. According to the wedding vows, there may be disagreements, differences, sicknesses, trying times etc. Whatever the circumstances, it is just part of the experience of the journey and should normally not lead to divorce because the tenure of marriage is for a lifetime.

WHAT COMMITMENT WILL ACHIEVE FOR YOUR HOME
When you are committed to your home, the following, and many more, happen:
You will overlook faults.
Commitment to your home will make you to overlook the faults of your spouse and be determined to persevere even in the face of challenges.

You will not see divorce as an option.
Your commitment will make you to be determined to keep your home and not see divorce as an option when difficulties arise.

You are ready to sacrifice greatly for your home.
Even when others are looking at you as being stupid. Your commitment will make you to be ready to sacrifice anything for your home to survive.

You will try everything that can make your home work.
As a woman, you will be ready to go to any length to demonstrate your submission to your husband and as a the husband, your love for your wife will not be in doubt.

You will make your home a priority.
The home of a committed husband or wife comes before any other consideration.

You will avoid all forms of infidelity.
Commitment to your home will make you to avoid all forms of infidelity since you know that it has the potency to create problems whose magnitude may be too great for you to handle.

You will take the initiative towards reconciliation when there is conflict.
Commitment will make you ready to make the first move whenever there is conflict

In conclusion, anyone who desires a delightsome home must be committed to his or her home. Without commitment, anything can easily go wrong which may easily get out of hand and cause unlimited damage.

DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
*In what ways can we be more committed to this home?…

PRAYER
May I continually be committed to my home even under trying circumstances in Jesus’ name.


QUOTABLE QUOTE

COMMITMENT MAKES YOU TO REMEMBER THAT THE JOURNEY OF MARRIAGE DOES NOT TERMINATE BECAUSE OF CHALLENGES BUT BECAUSE OF DEATH.- Dr. Mike Oluniyi

MAIN TEXT: SS 2:1-4MEMORY:  As the lily among thorns,so is my love among the daughters.

(SS.2:2)  A delightsome marriage is one that gives you pleasure.

You are glad that you are in that relationship and appreciate God for giving you your spouse. When you arey away from home, you miss your home. When you see him or her in the afternoon, you are looking forward to bedtime. When someone tells you something, you are looking forward to when you can share it with your spouse. When someone offends you, you are looking forward to reporting to him; Even if you are with one hundred people, you are lonely if he is not among the hundred; When he has a problem, it is like you are the one having the problem; also, when he triumphs, you want people to rejoice with you; when he is not around, you look forward to his arrival; When you look at your spouse as a gift of God for your life. Your day has not started well if you have not held your hands to pray together.  A marriage like this may appear utopian to many people, especially those who are having one challenge or the other in their home, but it is achievable. Today we shall be looking at the reasons why your marriage has to be a delight as follows: That’s The Way God Planned It.And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

(Gen.2:18) Life Can Be Terrible When Things Are Wrong At  Home.

When things go wrong at home, it affects virtually every other area of life such as your physical and emotional health, productivity at work and  even the way you relate with others.Your Spouse Will Be Your Longest Lasting Friend or Foe.Your spouse is the one that will make the greatest impact in your life and for the longest period of time. He will either be your longest serving friend or foe.So That You Won’t Envy Others Who Are Having Delightsome Homes.If your marriage is not a delight, seeing those whose homes are pleasurable may be a source of sadness and envy to you.So That Your Children May Learn From Their Parents.The state of your family affects your children most profoundly. So many researches point to the fact that children that grow up in family where there is love and stability grow up exhibiting those traits and with the desire to replicate it in their own homes in the future. So That You May Be Salt And Light (Matt.5:13-14;16)Your marriage needs to be a delight so that it can be a reference point to others in the world.  We may therefore conclude that it is vital to your physical and emotional well-being, that of your children and the society at large for you to have a delightsome home. It does not however just happen, it requires work. It is only those that desire and work towards it that are able to experience it.

 DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE* Will you honestly say that your home is a delightsome home?* If It is not really delightsome, when did things really go wrong, since it could not have been so from the beginning? 

PRAYER: Father, help me to be able to make the necessary sacrifice for my home to return to our first love in Jesus’ name.

 QUOTABLE QUOTE

A DELIGHTSOME MARRIAGE DOES NOT JUST HAPPEN.  IT OCCURS BECAUSE THE PARTNERS WORK TOWARDS MAKING THE MARRIAGE A DELIGHT.  ARE YOU WORKING ON YOUR OWN? -Dr Mike Oluniyi

Main text. Proverbs 4:5-9
Proverbs 4:7
Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom:
and with all thy getting get understanding. (Prov.4:7)

It is a terrible experience when your spouse is working against or is not interested in your vision. However trying the situation is, wisdom is the principal virtue you need in such situation, and without it, you will further complicate matters for your life and ministry. You may take the following steps:
Examine Yourself.
Look inwards and examine if there is any way you have opened doors for the devil to operate against your ministry. Is there any way you have allowed iniquity to thrive in your life or ministry? (Rom.6:1-2; Hebrews 10:26-29)
Sin can open doors for the devil to operate in your ministry and when he operates, he may use anybody including your spouse against you. If you discover persistent pattern of sin, it may be better for you to go to God, ask and receive forgiveness.
Ask The Right Questions.
Has your wife always been like that? If it was not so at the beginning, what caused it? What is the foundation of your relationship? Does she move with the right kind of people? Is she fulfilled doing what she is doing presently in the ministry? Is there anything that might have disappointed her about your ministry?
Asking the right questions and getting response to them helps you to gain proper perspective of a matter and leads you to pray right.
Pray Right.
One of the most important things we should know as ministers of God is the need to pray right. Often, we spend considerable time binding, casting and loosing when we are supposed to surrender ourselves to God in penitence. Some of the greatest prayers in the Bible are not necessarily long prayers but the right ones. We must learn to pray right (Jam.4:3)

Communicate.
One of the greatest instruments you can employ in marriage is communication. Instead of you warring with your spouse about her non-cooperation, why don’t you sit down to discuss with her. Someone will say that his wife will not say anything. But, have you checked whether she is afraid of what will happen if she dared to tell you the truth?

Empathize.
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feeling of someone else. Do you empathize with your spouse? Do you see things from her point of view? Do you actually seek to understand what her challenges are? If you ask your wife to resign her job because you feel she should not work outside the ministry, do you have an arrangement concerning how at least her basic needs will be met?

Discussion Points With Your Spouse
• Is there anything you are doing which is making your spouse to feel that he/ she is not part of the vision that God has given you?
• Suggest ways to each other on how you can carry your spouse along in your vision.

PRAYER
I receive that grace to be frank in examining myself in Jesus’ name.

QUOTABLE QUOTE

WHEN YOUR SPOUSE IS WORKING AGAINST YOUR VISION, IT MAY NOT BE THE TIME TO GO TO THE MOUNTAIN TO PRAY THAT YOUR SPOUSE SHOULD DIE. IT MAY RATHER BE THE TIME TO ASK YOURSELF WHERE YOU WENT WRONG. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi

Main Text: Gen.18:17-19
Memory:
For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment; that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.(Gen.18:19)

Trust is very important in your relationship with your spouse. When there is high level of trust, your spouse may be ready to go to any level in supporting whatever you embark upon.
Following are some of the sources of loss of trust in a minister’s home:
You May Betray It Through Immorality.
Immorality is the source of fall for many ministers of God and is the reason why countless people have lost the trust of their spouses. Imagine a woman who discovers that you are having an affair with a member of the ministry. Whenever you go for external ministrations she will conclude that it is another opportunity for you to commit adultery. How easily can such woman identify or run with the vision God has given you? Ministers of God are highly prone to sexual temptations. When you fall into it, it will not only negatively affect your relationship with God, it will also make you to lose the trust of your wife and reduce her commitment to your ministry.
Don’t lose the trust of your wife through immorality.
You May Lose It Through Disobedience.
Another potential way of losing the trust of your spouse is through disobedience to God. Your not being obedient to God who has given you the vision is a way of communicating to your spouse that the vision is not important to you. If the vision is not important to you, how could it be more important to someone who is supposed to be your helper?

You May Lose It Through Lack Of Integrity.
Are you a man of your word? A man of integrity is a honest man; a man that is the same whether in the secret or in the open. How reliable are you? When your spouse notices that your actions are opposite to your words or preaching, it makes you to lose her trust.
You May Lose It Through Wasteful Spending
Can you be trusted to be prudent in the management of finance? Many have lost the trust of their spouse and the entire ministry through wasteful spending.
You May Lose It Through Laziness.
Even if you are a full-time minister, how many hours do you spend on the assignment God has given you?
You May Lose It Through Undesirable Relationships.
Sometimes, your wife may just be against a particular person because of the way of life of that person. The person may even be a minister of God. When you move with people who cannot be trusted, you may lose her trust.
You May Lose It Through The Evil Workings Of The Devil.
Often, many lose trust through no fault of theirs. The devil may play on your ignorance to set you up with a particular problem that can make you to lose the trust of your spouse (2Cor.2:11).

Discussion Points With Your Spouse
* Is there any way we have been losing our trust in each other?
* What are the steps we can take to restore trust in each other so that the vision may be positively impacted.

PRAYER
My father and God I separate myself from anything that is making me to lose trust in Jesus’ name.

QUOTABLE QUOTE
IF YOU LOSE THE TRUST OF YOUR SPOUSE, IT MAY NOT BE REGAINED SOON, AND THE CONSEQUENCES WILL ALWAYS BE VISIBLE AROUND YOU. -Dr. Mike Oluniyi

Main Text: Hab.2:2-3
Memory:
And the Lord answered me, and said,
Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables,
that he may run that readeth it. (Hab.2:2-3)

You can’t actualize your vision alone; you need others to run with the vision. Among the those who will be used by God for your vision to become a reality is your spouse.
Today, we are going to look at some of the principles that can help towards making your spouse to believe in and run with your vision.

The Principle Of Vision Sharing.
If you desire your spouse to run with your vision, he/ she must understand what your vision is all about. Does your wife know what God has called you to do? (Hab.2:2-3)
The principle of building according to the given pattern.
Building according to pattern is all about doing what God has shown you in the vision you were given (Heb.8:5b). Every diversion from your vision confuses your spouse and makes her to see inconsistency and reduces the trust she has in the vision.
The principle of goal-setting.
Goal-setting is vital for your spouse and others to know what to do next (1Cor.14:8). Your vision is so broad but you need to break it down into time-bound achievable goals. When it is in such state, it motivates everyone involved to achieve success.
The principle of role appreciation/ fault-blindness.
The principle of role appreciation and fault blindness propagates the appreciation of the contributions of your spouse to the ministry and the refusal to hammer on her faults. Many of us are guilty of condemning whatever our spouse does and emphasizing their faults.
The principle of acceptance of complementary vision.
This principle talks about accepting and co-owning the vision God has given your spouse.
Many ministers of God are at war with their spouse over the vision that God has given their spouse. There are also pastors who feel threatened about the gifts of their spouse.
The principle of spousal counsel and evaluation.
Spousal counsel and evaluation here is about being open enough to allow your spouse to evaluate what the ministry is doing and give a word of advice. When your wife has a say through counseling and evaluation, it gives her the feeling that you are in the ministry together. She might want to go the extra mile to ensure that things work out well for the ministry.
The principle of joint altar.
The principle of joint altar is such a powerful catalyst for your spouse to run with your vision. Anything you pray about, you will be on the lookout for it to come to pass.

If you want your spouse to be passionate about your vision, it does not just happen. There is a need to work towards it and even when it is achieved, there is a need to keep paying attention to the above principles as they will make your spouse to believe that she is a significant stakeholder in the ministry.
Discussion Points With Your Spouse
* Discuss each of the principles above with your spouse and see how far you can observe them.
* Is there anyone of the principles that can’t work for you even if you are a businessman and not a minister of God?

PRAYER
My father and God, may my spouse be encouraged to run with my vision in Jesus’ name.

QUOTABLE QUOTE
YOU ARE THE GREATEST DETERMINANT OF WHETHER OR NOT YOUR SPOUSE WILL RUN WITH YOUR VISION. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi