‘God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.
Therefore will not we fear, though the earth be removed,
and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea;’ (Ps.46:1-2)

The anchor mindset is that disposition towards making your children to know that when the challenges of life come, they have a God that can hold their ship steady in the turbulent sea of life. In other words, life is not always a continuous pleasure experience, there are periods in which things don’t work out in the expected way. At such times of tribulations in life, many have committed suicide, other have denied their faith just as others abandon their families. Let them know that there is the need for anchor to hold steady your ship in the turbulent sea of life. Such a mindset will make you not just to teach but also to demonstrate to them that;


• God is ever faithful.
This mindset makes you to let your children know that the only friend who will ever remain faithful in every situation of life is Jesus. Every other friend will desert you at different junctures in life, but He will remain with you until the very end on earth and even in eternity. The closest relationship on earth is that between husband and wife, there is no other relationship on earth that may be compared with that of a couple but even in such relationships, there are countless number of cases where one disappointed the other. Even in situation where your husband or wife has made up his or her mind to ever be faithful, there are situations beyond human endurance which may make one to disappoint at such junctures.

Peter boasted to Jesus in Luke 22:33, that he would go with Him to any length;

And he said unto him, Lord, I am ready to go with thee, both into prison, and to death.

Knowing how sincere Peter was in his relationship with Jesus, he definitely meant every word uttered above. However, when he got to where Jesus was being questioned and saw the intimidating security arrangement and the other attendant factors, he forgot what he promised Jesus and denied Jesus thrice within a short time in Luke 22:54-62. It was not that Peter did not love Jesus any longer but he got into a situation in which his faith failed him and he denied his Lord.
Every human being has a level beyond which they can’t go with you, it is only God that will never leave nor forsake you.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned,
Nor shall the flame scorch you.(Is.43:2)


It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.
They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. (Lam.3:22&23)

Never miss any opportunity through your own personal experiences and that of those around you to teach your children about the faithfulness of God because it will help them to hold on to God as their anchor in the tempest of life.


God can turn hopeless situations around.

In those days was Hezekiah sick unto death. And the prophet Isaiah the son of Amoz came to him, and said unto him, Thus saith the Lord, Set thine house in order; for thou shalt die, and not live. (2Kg.20:1)

The situation above is a situation that you may really call a hopeless one. Hezekiah was sick unto death; it was not the physicians that told him that he would not survive the sickness, neither was it any other person than the mouthpiece of God in person of Prophet Isaiah. In the following verses, it is interesting to note that it was the same prophet who pronounced the case a hopeless one that God still sent back to give him hope.

And it came to pass, afore Isaiah was gone out into the middle court, that the word of the Lord came to him, saying, Turn again, and tell Hezekiah the captain of my people, Thus saith the Lord, the God of David thy father, I have heard thy prayer, I have seen thy tears: behold, I will heal thee: on the third day thou shalt go up unto the house of the Lord. And I will add unto thy days fifteen years; and I will deliver thee and this city out of the hand of the king of Assyria; and I will defend this city for mine own sake, and for my servant David’s sake. (2Kg.20:4-6)

It is demonstrated to us in the above case that there is still hope as long as you remain with your God. There is simply nothing that He can’t do in your life if you continue to express your faith in him. It is important that you make your children to note what happened in verses 2-3;

Then he turned his face to the wall, and prayed unto the Lord, saying, I beseech thee, O Lord, remember now how I have walked before thee in truth and with a perfect heart, and have done that which is good in thy sight. And Hezekiah wept sore.

In other words, Hezekiah reminded God how he had walked with Him with a heart that is singularly focused on Him and God turned the hopeless situation around. Let your children know that once someone continue to walk with God in faith, he can turn any hopeless situation in the life of that person around.

God is able to protect His Own.

And when the servant of the man of God was risen early, and gone forth, behold, an host compassed the city both with horses and chariots. And his servant said unto him, Alas, my master! how shall we do? And he answered, Fear not: for they that be with us are more than they that be with them. And Elisha prayed, and said, Lord, I pray thee, open his eyes, that he may see. And the Lord opened the eyes of the young man; and he saw: and, behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire round about Elisha. (2Kg.6:15-17)

If you have this mindset, you will let your children know that your God is able to protect your life. In the case above, the servant of Elisha was overwhelmed by the presence of enemy soldiers who apparently were there to capture him. However the servant of the man of God must have learnt one of the greatest lessons of his life when his spiritual eyes were opened and he discovered that the heavenly soldiers with chariots of fire surrounding them were more that the enemy soldiers.
The story will give you an opportunity to let them know that even when you are surrounded by a thick cloud of adversity and it appears as if you won’t be able to successfully get out of the situation, your God is still available to protect you.

God is still his final destination.
This mindset will also make you to teach your children that however long or short we stay here on earth, heaven is our home.

While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal. (2Cor.4:18)

Knowing that God is your final destination goes a long way in determining the depth of your relationship with Him who is your anchor in the turbulent sea of life.

Dr. Mike Oluniyi

This mindset makes you to see yourself whether male or female as having been assigned to raise up your children without any specific role. There is no specificity of roles in child raising assignment as conflict and other unforeseen circumstances may change your traditional role in the family. In your own family, the husband may be responsible for house rent, school fees, feeding etc, while the wife may be responsible for clothings and other needs of the children. It may be going on that way for several years before something unexpected happens. For instance if your husband loses his job, will the children not go to school again? Something may happen negatively which may make you to add to the assignment you were having in the home before. On the other hand, it may also be on the positive side which may make you as a wife to suddenly start earning beyond your expected level of income. Such positive development may make you to decide as a family to move out of your former home to a more comfortable one or to start building your own. It may also make you to sponsor one or more of your children to a more prestigious school. If it happens that way in your family and you are now even the breadwinner of the home, always remember the following;

It Is Nothing Special.
This mindset will make you to believe that you are not doing anything special if you find yourself in the position of carrying out most or even all the financial responsibilities in the home. In fact, you should thank God that You have the privilege of doing so. If as a husband, your wife can’t work and you are consequently the only one carrying out the responsibilities at home, thank God for the privilege. You should joyfully carry out the responsibilities because it makes you more responsible. It teaches the children that the financial responsibilities at home is neither for the wife nor husband but for either of them

Your New Status Change Must Not Change You.
If your statue changes to make you now the breadwinner of the family, you won’t become bossy if you have the mindset of parental assignment. You won’t become ungovernable as a wife for instance if fortune smiles on you in your business and you become the breadwinner of your family. If as a husband, you find yourself in a position which is higher than what you were before, you won’t throw away your wife that she is no longer befitting to you. When you maltreat your wife or husband just because fortune smiles on you, you will be sending the wrong message to your children that it is not worth it to endure with a spouse to keep a home.

You won’t be complaining about your spouse.
You won’t be complaining about your spouse, especially in the presence of your children just. When as a man, you are fond of complaining about your wife just because you are the breadwinner of the family, it may have a negative effect on the relationship between you and your children. In many cases, the children would feel that you are maltreating their mother and once they are old enough take their mother away to be with them under such pretext like helping them to take care of baby. It may also make your children to hate you because they may feel that you have maltreated their mother.

Don’t make the children to know that roles have changed.
If your spouse has been carrying out a responsibility before but for some understandable reasons, such as job loss or other unexpected challenges makes him unable to continue with it, don’t demonstrate it to your children that you are now the one carrying out the assignment. Just take it on as if it is your role. I know of women that when they want to pay the school fees of their children will tell such a child that it is her husband or both of them paying.


You won’t become ungovernable at home.

There are wives that their husbands can’t control just because providence made them to become the breadwinner of the home. Your new status should not make you to become beyond correction. You should always remember that no man can receive anything except it is given to him from above.

…A man can receive nothing, except it be given him from heaven.
(Jn.3:27)

Humility is the hallmark of a true believer in whatever position you may be.


You won’t Indulge Your Children.
Often when God has blessed you, you may have the feeling that whatever you say is the best ideas; you get to a stage that you believe that what your spouse says does not matter. One of the most prominent ways it may affect the family is on the upbringing of your children. When you spouse wants to discipline your children, you may insist that he could not do so because if they are ill, you are the one that will pay hospital bills. If you and your spouse are always not in agreement in the process of the upbringing of your children, your children may become spoilt children due to indulgence.

Dr. Mike Oluniyi