* Give your spouse the deserved prime place.
Gain the understanding that the position of your home is only second to that of your relationship with God in importance. Even your children will leave to start their own homes and you will be left with your spouse. If you don’t nurture this relationship now, you will be lonely during old age.
* Identify something special in your spouse that makes him/her the best that you could have ever married.
Sometimes, your sex life may be dull because you have not identified something unique about your spouse which makes him or her the best that you could have ever married. A grateful heart to God for giving you the treasure in your spouse may continually prime your desire for him or her and give your love life the necessary impetus to continually soar to greater heights.
* Empathize with you spouse.
Seek to understand and help your spouse to overcome his/her sexual problems. Your spouse may have genuine reasons for avoiding sex. You may need to empathize with him or her to be able to overcome the problem. For instance, if your husband is not having sustainable erection and all you do is to make jest of him, you will only psychologically depress him the more, thereby complicating the problem. However, if you encourage him that it is only temporary and do whatever you can do to emotionally lift him up, then the problem may be easily overcome. Understanding and encouraging your spouse when there are sexual problems go a long way to solving such problems or at least making it manageable.
* Seek to satisfy your spouse sexually.
The sexual demand of individuals in marriage differs. Your determination to do whatever you can to satisfy the sexual needs of your spouse goes a long way in achieving marital stability.
God is the author of marriage, He can help you even in such matters. Whenever there is any problem in the home which appears to be beyond you, you should be able to go to God in prayer. Nothing is too small to pray to God about, neither is anything too irrelevant. If you are the one that is not satisfying your spouse, you may pray that God should give you the desire and strength to go the extra mile to satisfy him or her.
Discussion Points With Your Spouse
• If you are not having sexual issues in your home, don’t think that it may never happen. Some of the causes of the problem are not really intentional or mischievous; they are unplanned for. Look at the above list again and discuss how you may avoid them.
• If you are already experiencing it in your home and your spouse is the source, what are the steps you can take to assist your spouse get out of it?
• If the source is from you, are you hiding it or being insincere about it or are you bringing it out for discussion with your spouse, so that you may fight the battle together?
Father give me the wisdom to be proactive about sexual matters so that they don’t become real problems in my home.
IF YOU KNOW THE POTENTIAL CONSEQUENCES OF SEXUAL PROBLEMS ON THE FAMILY, YOU WILL AVOID IT BY ALL MEANS. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi