MAIN TEXT: 1Cor.9:24-27.
MEMORY:
But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified. (1Cor.9:27)

A careful thought about the implications of falling for strange men/ women should make one to be determined never to fall into such temptation. The implications are grave, as there are those who fell into it and they never recovered from it throughout their lifetime. Any child of God who desires to finish strong must have a strong resolve to flee immorality. While there are some who went into it to retaliate after their spouse did it, please note that many who fell into it did not actually plan to do. Many got themselves involved as a result of carelessness while there are many others who did it out of ignorance. As individuals, the temptations we are faced with differ one from another. But however complex your own situation is, there are some mindsets and steps which may help us when we are faced with temptations from the opposite sex:
Desire to please God.
When your desire is focused on pleasing God, you are not likely to go into anything that is related to disobedience.
Don’t Hide From Your Spouse.
Just in case you fall or you are even tempted, you should open up to your spouse so that you can fight the war together. Often, in the process of hiding from your spouse, you may find yourself in deeper pit. Such battles are better fought in agreement with your spouse.
Be a prayerful person.
Prayer is key to success in your walk with God. Pray always that the LORD will keep you to the end.
Have the mindset that you already have the best in your spouse.
When you have such mindset, you will value your wife and never be interested in doing anything that will disappoint her.
Count the cost.
If you think about the illusory benefits and compare it with the huge implications of falling into adultery, you may be able to realize that it will be too costly for you to venture into.
Never believe that you are infallible, you are flesh and blood.
When you believe that you are infallible, there will be the tendency for you to grow careless.
Be self-disciplined.(1Cor.9:27)
Finally, from personal experience, one decision that has helped my life greatly in this area was to make a covenant with God. I made a covenant with God that if I ever get myself involved with a woman outside my matrimonial home, that the LORD should deal with me. The covenant has helped me greatly in dicey situations to the glory of God. However, please be cautioned that if you want to make a covenant with God about such matters, you must have finally resolved never to get involved since covenant breaking on its own may deny you of heaven.

DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
• How could keeping secrets from each other make someone to go deeper and deeper into the hands of strange women/ men.

PRAYER
I will always discipline myself to tow the line of virtue in Jesus’ name.


QUOTABLE QUOTE
DON’T BE TOO SURE THAT YOU CAN’T FALL INTO TEMPTATION; RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! – Dr. Mike Oluniyi

MAIN TEXT: Pro.23:26-28
MEMORY:
For a whore is a deep ditch; and a strange woman is a narrow pit. She also lieth in wait as for a prey, and increaseth the transgressors among men.(Pro.23:27-28)

A strange woman or man is any member of the opposite sex apart from your spouse that tempts you into immorality. The world is full of them today in every walk of life. One might have wished that the problem of temptation would be only outside the church but the major concern is that the problem has not spared the church. Often, even as a pastor, you may start wondering if there is any vocation where people are tempted more than in ministry. You will be doing yourself and home a lot of good if you always remember that when you fall for temptation of immorality, several consequences may follow:

You will lose the trust of your spouse.
When you lose the trust of your spouse, it affects so many areas of your family life. A spouse that has lost trust in you may find it difficult to plan together with you for the progress of your family.

It may destroy your home.
When you go into immorality, it means you have an alternative to your spouse. Any alternative to your spouse could be deadly to the survival of your home as it makes you not to be committed to keeping your home as there is alternative attraction.

It affects your relationship with God.
Once you get involved in immorality, it affects your genuine spiritual growth. You may still be seen going up and down with one activity or the other but the truth is that deep down in you, it will be evident that you have lost something vital. As clearly stated in Exodus 20:14, it is a clear contravention of God’s commandment with grave implications.

It can cut short your relevance in kingdom matters.
Samson’s vision and life was cut short as a result of immorality (Judges 16:21) There are so many leaders in contemporary history that were also cut short.

It Makes You To Become A Resource Waster.
There is no how you go into immorality that you will not become a resource waster. Resources that you could have spent on real achievements would be wasted on attempts to satisfy a seductress who could never be satisfied while your family suffers. Even if you are in the rare case of strange men and women who spend on you, you will still be a resource waster because whatever he or she gives you will be a snare on other resources that you genuinely have.

The implications of falling for the temptation of strange men/ women are grave. As stated in the Bible verse above, it is like falling into a narrow and deep pitch; getting out is difficult and there are many that did not get out of the pitch throughout their lifetime.
May that not be your portion in Jesus’ name.

DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
• What are some other reasons why one must not fall into the pit of immorality?


PRAYER
My father and my God, I reject falling into the pit of immorality in Jesus’ name.


QUOTABLE QUOTE
AVOID FALLING INTO THE PIT OF IMMORALITY, YOU MAY NEVER GET OUT OF IT – Dr. Mike Oluniyi

MAIN TEXT: Proverbs 15:1-4
MEMORY:
A soft answer turneth away wrath:
but grievous words stir up anger.(Pro.15:1)

Communication is the mortar that holds a relationship together; relationship crumbles when it breaks down. A lot of challenges that marriages experience is as a result of inadequate or a breakdown in communication between partners. The more you communicate, the more connected you are.
You must understand that communication is not just about talking. Your spouse may transfer essential messages to you through attitude, facial expressions, body language and even silence. Communication may also often be physical. Your spouse can convey a message of affection by gently touching your hand, but if he squeezes your hand to the point of pain, he will be conveying a negative message. In fact, if you want to be an effective communicator, you have to pay close attention to what your partner is telling you through his moods, attitudes, gestures, movements, and actions. We shall be looking at some of those factors that lead to the breakdown of communication in marriage.
Pride.
When there are offences and either the husband or wife feels too important to make the first move to communicate or feels too important to respond to moves from the spouse, it may lead to the breakdown of communication.

Unforgiveness.
Inability to forgive may lead to hatred which effectively reduces positive communication to the barest minimum in marriage.

Retaliation.
The determination to retaliate when your spouse has offended you may lead you to steps which may kill communication in marriage. Never forget Romans 12:19;
Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.

Ignorance.
Often, many don’t know that when you don’t know implications of lack of communication in your home, you may embark on it ignorantly not knowing that it may pass a death sentence on your marriage.

Misunderstandings.
When you find it difficult to understand each other or your discussions often lead to conflict, your partner may refrain from communicating with you in the bid to avoid conflicts.

An angry man stirreth up strife,
and a furious man aboundeth in transgression.(Pro.29:22)
To avoid such situation in marriage, you must do everything possible to avoid miscommunication. Make yourself clear whenever you are passing across a message and ensure that you understand the message your spouse is passing across to you to avoid miscommunication.

The importance of communication in marriage cannot be overemphasized. Lack of it make a home to be at a level that no member of the family including the children enjoys. Don’t forget that when your spouse is not enjoying communication with you, he or she may get involved with a member of the opposite sex who is able to connect better with him or her through communication and that in turn has the capacity to destroy your home. Consequently, if you desire a strong union with your spouse, you must do everything possible to keep communication alive.


DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
• Which are the factors affecting smooth communication in your marriage?
• What steps can you take to improve communication with your spouse?

PRAYER
Father, help us in this home to communicate appropriately to continually strengthen our marriage in Jesus’ name.

QUOTABLE QUOTE
COMMUNICATION IS THE MORTAR THAT HOLDS RELATIONSHIP TOGETHER; DON’T WEAKEN YOUR UNION. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi

MAIN TEXT: Eccl.9:8-10
MEMORY:
Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun, all your days of vanity; …(Eccl.9:9)

Intellectual intimacy between a couple may be viewed as sharing ideas and thoughts. Such sharing may not be that they agree on the points discussed but the willingness is there to discuss. You can know if intellectual intimacy exists between you and your spouse if:
• You readily talk about your hopes and dreams and encourage each other towards the actualization of those dreams.
• You ask for each other’s opinion on actions or matters.
• You are free to disclose your fears and past to each other without reservations.
• You are so used to each other’s expression that you can suspect when your partner is not telling you the whole truth about a matter.
• You are free to open up and talk just about anything with your spouse.

Emotional intimacy means being emotionally connected to your partner in marriage. It is important because it helps a relationship to have strong bond. Couples who are emotionally intimate are able to resolve their conflicts more easily because they understand each other better and are able to communicate their feelings better. Every couple must work on building up their level of emotional intimacy for the overall good health of their relationship. The following are signs that you can notice if your relationship lacks emotional intimacy:
• You feel distant from each other.
• You find it difficult to express your emotions to each other.
• Your life is private to you.
• You find it awkward to touch each other outside the bedroom. The more you are emotionally connected, the easier it is for you to connect physically.
• When you don’t do things together.
• You find it difficult to listen to and understand each other.
Emotional intimacy is vital in a marriage, but the good news is that if you are lacking in it, you may actually work on it and improve from the present to a better level by opening up more to each other, depending more on each other, asking for the opinion of your spouse on issues and being generally more interested in each other.

If you desire to live joyfully with your spouse like the scripture for today enjoins you, there is need for intellectual and emotional intimacy. You must deliberately work on it so that your relationship will be a pleasant one.

DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
• What are the obstacles that prevent us from opening up and discussing with each other?
• How can we improve our level of communication with each other?

PRAYER
Father, help me to take steps to be able to connect with my spouse intimately in Jesus’ name.


QUOTABLE QUOTE
THE CLOSER YOU ARE TO YOUR SPOUSE THE MORE MATTERS FOR DISCUSSION COME UP AND THE MORE CONNECTED YOU WILL BE EMOTIONALLY. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi

Text: Prov.5:18-20
MEMORY:
Let thy fountain be blessed:
and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe;
let her breasts satisfy thee at all times;
and be thou ravished always with her love. (Prov.5:18-19)

Today, we are looking at physical intimacy which is what comes to the mind of most people when they hear the word “intimate.” Physical intimacy strengthens the bond between couples and fosters closeness, love and affection between them. Though it includes sexual intimacy, it is not limited to it. Since we have already dealt with sex earlier, we are going to concentrate on non-sexual physical intimacy today. Non-sexual physical intimacy which you may explore to foster closeness, love and affection with your spouse include the following:
• Holding the hands of your partner.
• Caressing your partner’s neck.
• Kissing your partner.
• Nibbling your partner’s ear.
• Walking with your arms around your partner’s waist.
• Cuddling each other.
• Sitting close enough to be physically in touch with any part of your partner’s body.
• Briefly rubbing your partner’s back.
• Playing footsie with your partner.


All the above non-sexual physical intimacy activities often lead to sexual activity but it doesn’t always have to, which in fact, is one of the biggest complaints for women.
Men often take any physical intimacy as a sign that women want sexual intimacy, when sometimes they just need a touch or cuddle. Of all the types of intimacy, this is the one that most men find interesting. Men typically feel the most connected when sexual physical intimacy is highest. It is worthy of note that apart from engendering closeness, men may actually use the non-sexual physical intimacy activities to lure their wives to sexual activity. Though the woman is not interested in sex initially, appropriate use of any of the activities may be used to romantically lure a woman to be desirous of sexual activity. Our memory verses for today also show that God expects man to delight in these activities with his wife.

It is important for men to note that non-sexual physical intimacy doesn’t necessarily have to lead to sex. If all your wife just need is to physically feel your touch or cuddle, let it be. When you always interpret your wife’s desire for your touch to mean desire for sex, it may make her to always refrain from getting close physically to you. Such a situation may drive couples apart instead of closer to each other which may become a problem in relationship.

DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
• In what ways have physical intimacy generally enhanced connection between you and your spouse?
• Tell each other which of the non-sexual physical activities is most appealing to you.

PRAYER
I receive wisdom to use the most appropriate means to excite my spouse and drive us closer to each other in Jesus’ name.


QUOTABLE QUOTE
PHYSICAL INTIMACY IS SO VITAL IN MARRIAGE THAT THE ABSENCE OF IT MAY SPELL DOOM FOR YOUR MARITAL RELATIONSHIP. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi