Text: Prov.5:18-20
MEMORY:
Let thy fountain be blessed:
and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe;
let her breasts satisfy thee at all times;
and be thou ravished always with her love. (Prov.5:18-19)

Today, we are looking at physical intimacy which is what comes to the mind of most people when they hear the word “intimate.” Physical intimacy strengthens the bond between couples and fosters closeness, love and affection between them. Though it includes sexual intimacy, it is not limited to it. Since we have already dealt with sex earlier, we are going to concentrate on non-sexual physical intimacy today. Non-sexual physical intimacy which you may explore to foster closeness, love and affection with your spouse include the following:
• Holding the hands of your partner.
• Caressing your partner’s neck.
• Kissing your partner.
• Nibbling your partner’s ear.
• Walking with your arms around your partner’s waist.
• Cuddling each other.
• Sitting close enough to be physically in touch with any part of your partner’s body.
• Briefly rubbing your partner’s back.
• Playing footsie with your partner.


All the above non-sexual physical intimacy activities often lead to sexual activity but it doesn’t always have to, which in fact, is one of the biggest complaints for women.
Men often take any physical intimacy as a sign that women want sexual intimacy, when sometimes they just need a touch or cuddle. Of all the types of intimacy, this is the one that most men find interesting. Men typically feel the most connected when sexual physical intimacy is highest. It is worthy of note that apart from engendering closeness, men may actually use the non-sexual physical intimacy activities to lure their wives to sexual activity. Though the woman is not interested in sex initially, appropriate use of any of the activities may be used to romantically lure a woman to be desirous of sexual activity. Our memory verses for today also show that God expects man to delight in these activities with his wife.

It is important for men to note that non-sexual physical intimacy doesn’t necessarily have to lead to sex. If all your wife just need is to physically feel your touch or cuddle, let it be. When you always interpret your wife’s desire for your touch to mean desire for sex, it may make her to always refrain from getting close physically to you. Such a situation may drive couples apart instead of closer to each other which may become a problem in relationship.

DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
• In what ways have physical intimacy generally enhanced connection between you and your spouse?
• Tell each other which of the non-sexual physical activities is most appealing to you.

PRAYER
I receive wisdom to use the most appropriate means to excite my spouse and drive us closer to each other in Jesus’ name.


QUOTABLE QUOTE
PHYSICAL INTIMACY IS SO VITAL IN MARRIAGE THAT THE ABSENCE OF IT MAY SPELL DOOM FOR YOUR MARITAL RELATIONSHIP. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi

Text: Gen.26:8-11

Memory
And it came to pass, when he had been there a long time, that Abimelech king of the Philistines looked out at a window, and saw, and, behold, Isaac was sporting with Rebekah his wife.(Gen,26:8)

The second type of intimacy is recreational intimacy. Recreational intimacy is the bond that is created and strengthened by doing activities together. For instance, you and your spouse may sit down to watch a program on the television together, you may both take a walk, play a game or engage in other activities together. These activities have the potential of creating pleasing experiences that fuel connection between you and your spouse.
This sort of intimacy tends to be at its highest early in the relationship when both partners are willing to do and try things outside of their comfort zone just to have the opportunity to be in each other’s presence. As we advance in marriage and life gets more complicated with other commitments such the care for the children, family and societal engagements, opportunities for recreational intimacy dwindle between couples. However, the intention of God for marriage is that we continue to enjoy the interaction with each other even in spite of those essential activities.

Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun. (Eccl.9:9)

For our level of recreational intimacy to improve, we need to remember the following:
1. The journey of marriage is such a long one that you can’t enjoy it by doing only routine essential activities. We need the ability to hold hands, laugh and play together if we are to endure the times of disappointments and challenges together.
2. A time will come when all those activities that are preventing intimacy between you and your spouse will fade away from your life. You will be left with your spouse but the intimacy you did not develop now will be difficult to enjoy then. Such situation leads to boredom and loneliness in old age. Don’t be surprised that even your most loved child will get married some day, only for you to be meeting once in a while.
3. Though you may appear to be so busy, if you really desire recreational intimacy with your spouse, you can sacrifice some other activities, without creating any problem, to be with your spouse.


DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
• What are the obstacles that are preventing you from spending more time together with your spouse?
• What steps can you take towards reducing the way they steal from the time you are supposed to spend with each other?

PRAYER
I remove or reduce the effect of any activity that is preventing me from spending quality time with my spouse in Jesus’ name.

QUOTABLE QUOTE
IF YOU FAIL TO CULTIVATE FRIENDSHIP WITH YOUR SPOUSE, YOU ARE ONLY PREPARING FOR A LONELY OLD AGE, BECAUSE BY THEN IT WILL BE TOO LATE TO CULTIVATE THAT FRIENDSHIP. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi

Text: 1Peter 3:1-9
MEMORY:1 Peter 3:7
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. (1Pet.3:7)

Today, we shall start looking at different types of intimacy which may be experienced in marriage. The first and probably the most important to you as a child of God is spiritual intimacy. Spiritual intimacy in marriage may be referred to as closeness between husband and wife in matters of faith. It is about being in the word together, praying for each other and worshipping together. When a couple believes that the word of God is the nourishment to their souls(Matt.4:4; Deut.8:3), and are on the same spiritual diet, their growth pattern will be in the same direction and bring about unity of purpose in other areas of life. Consequently, spiritual intimacy is the most foundational intimacy which goes a long way to determine the level of the other forms of intimacy. Once spiritual intimacy is high, it may be easy to work on the other types of intimacy.
Spiritual intimacy does not just happen in a marriage, it has to be consistently worked upon.
At the core of spiritual intimacy is the genuineness of the conversion of the partners in the union. It may be sometimes easy to pretend as if one is converted when actually you are just paying lip service to walking with God. When the partners are genuinely in the faith and are being fed with the same spiritual diet, then they are on the same page spiritually. It is very important for you to note that even as you are growing in the faith, you must be genuinely interested in, and encourage the spiritual growth of your spouse because whatever level you reach in the faith, a spouse that did not grow may bring you down from it.
If as a family you pray together, the tendency is high that when challenges of life come, you will demonstrate your reliance on your God that you so much believe in. When as a couple you worship that same God and you are committed to Him, when challenges come, you are likely to refer to what He will want you to do in the situation at hand. Also, when the level of spiritual intimacy is high, you and your spouse are very likely to run away from anything that may tamper with the standards of God for marriage. Consequently, if you are desirous of having intimacy in your marriage, it may be wise to ensure that your level of spiritual intimacy grows as it has the potential to affect others positively.

DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
• What steps can we take towards being more spiritually intimate?

PRAYER
Father, help us in our home that your word shall be our guide in all areas of life in Jesus’ name.


QUOTABLE QUOTE
ONCE THERE IS SPIRITUAL INTIMACY BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE, EVERY OTHER FORM OF INTIMACY WILL EASILY OPERATE. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi

Text: Gen.2:18-25.
MEMORY:
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.(Gen.2:24)

Intimacy in marriage relationship is so important to God that He requires that you must DEPART from home and CLEAVE to your spouse. It must have been so because God did not want anything or anybody to act as obstacle between husband and wife. Marriage is such a long journey that if your spouse is not an intimate friend, you will find the journey both boring and a foretaste of hell.
Today, we shall be looking at those factors that encourage intimacy in the home. The Bible has given us a summary of what it takes to have intimacy at home; They are mutual love and submission.
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; The matter of love has to be mutually subscribed to by both husband and wife as stated in Mark 12:30&31.
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. (Eph.5:22)
The Bible enjoin husbands to love their husband but you will discover that if you love your wife, there are situations in which you will have to submit even as husband. That is why it has to be mutual submission as stated in Ephesians 5:21;
Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
In any marriage where there is mutual love and submission, there is bound to be a closeness that will make the marital union an intimate one. Some of the features of such home are:
i. Acceptance despite imperfections.
ii. The ability to remember the beginning of the relationship.
iii. The ability to speak the love language your spouse understands.
iv. The ability to forgive offenses.
v. The ability to trust and rebuild trust even when it has been eroded.
vi. Openness to each other.
vii. Realization that the two of you actually are one as far as God is concerned.
Intimacy does not happen in a marriage, it is like an ongoing journey that has to be worked upon especially as your marriage advances in age. In other words, if you want intimacy in your union, you must work at it.
Are you ready to work on it?

DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
• Frankly speaking, in which area do you think I need to work on, to make this relationship more intimate?

PRAYER
My father and God, I desire the highest level of intimacy between me and my spouse. I receive the grace to do my own part to make it happen in my home in Jesus’ name.


QUOTABLE QUOTE
THE INTENTION OF GOD IS THAT YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE SHOULD BE VERY CLOSE, ANY OBSTACLE IN BETWEEN YOU IS OUTSIDE GOD. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi