MAIN TEXT: Ps.46:1-3.
MEMORY:
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. (Ps.46:1)

The anchor mindset is that disposition towards making your children to know that when the challenges of life come, they have a God who as an anchor can hold their ship steady in the turbulent sea of life. In other words, life is not always a continuous pleasurable experience, there are periods in which things don’t work out in the expected way. At such times of tribulations in life, many have committed suicide, other have denied their faith just as others abandoned their families. Such a mindset will make you not just to teach but also to demonstrate to them that:


God is ever faithful.
This mindset makes you to inform your children that the only friend who will ever remain faithful in every situation of life is Jesus. Every other friend will desert you at different junctures in life, but He will remain with you until the very end on earth and even in eternity.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned,
Nor shall the flame scorch you.(Is.43:2)


It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.
They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. (Lam.3:22&23)

Never miss any opportunity through your own personal experiences and that of those around you to teach your children about the faithfulness of God because it will help them to hold on to God as their anchor in the tempest of life.


God can turn hopeless situations around. (2Kg.20:1-6)
Let your children know that there is no situation so hopeless that God cannot turn around if you don’t lose hope as may be seen from the story of king Hezekiah in 2Kg.20:1-6.

God Is Able To Protect His Own. (2Kg.6:15-17)
In the case above, the servant of Elisha was overwhelmed by the presence of enemy soldiers who apparently were there to capture Elijah. However, the servant of the man of God must have learnt one of the greatest lessons of his life when his spiritual eyes were opened and he discovered that the heavenly soldiers with chariots of fire surrounding them were more that the enemy soldiers.
The story will give you an opportunity to let them know that even when you are surrounded by a thick cloud of adversity and it appears as if you won’t be able to successfully get out of the situation, your God is still available to protect you.

God Is Our Final Destination.
This mindset will also make you to teach your children that however long or short we stay here on earth, heaven is our home. (2Cor.4:18) Knowing that God is your final destination goes a long way in determining the depth of your relationship with Him who is your anchor in the turbulent sea of life.

DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
• In what more ways can we teach and demonstrate to our children the anchor mindset in our family?

PRAYER
Father, may we take you more as our anchor and be able to teach and demonstrate it to our children in Jesus’ name.

QUOTABLE QUOTE
TEACH YOUR CHILDREN THAT IN THE TEMPEST OF LIFE, GOD IS THE ONLY STEADFAST ANCHOR THAT CAN STEADILY HOLD THE SHIP OF THEIR LIFE. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi

MAIN TEXT: Phil.4:4-7.
MEMORY:
Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.(Phil.4:6)

This mindset makes you to see yourself, whether male or female, as having been assigned to raise up your children without any specific role. There is no specificity of roles in child-raising assignment as unforeseen circumstances may change your traditional role in the family. If it happens that way in your family and you are now the breadwinner of the home, always remember the following:

It Is Nothing Special.
This mindset will make you to believe that you are not doing anything special if you find yourself in the position of carrying out most or even all the financial responsibilities in the home. In fact, you should thank God that you have the privilege of doing so. The scripture for today enjoins you to do everything with a heart full of prayer and thanksgiving in any situation you may find yourself.

Your New Status Change Must Not Change You.
You won’t become ungovernable as a wife for instance if fortune smiles on you in your business and you become the breadwinner of your family. If as a husband, you find yourself in a position which is higher than what you were before, you won’t throw away your wife that she no longer befits you.

You Won’t Be Complaining About Your Spouse.
You won’t be complaining about your spouse, especially in the presence of your children. When as a man, you are fond of complaining about your wife just because you are the breadwinner of the family, it may have a negative effect on the relationship between you and your children.

Don’t Let The Children Know That Roles Have Changed.
If your spouse has been carrying out some responsibilities before but for some understandable reasons, such as job loss or other unexpected challenges, he is unable to continue with it, don’t demonstrate it to your children that you are now the one carrying out the assignment. Just take it on as if it is your natural role; indeed it is!


You Won’t Become Ungovernable At Home.
There are wives that their husbands can’t control just because providence made them to become the breadwinner of the home. Your new status should not make you to be beyond correction. You should always remember that no man can receive anything except it is given to him from above.
…A man can receive nothing, except it be given him from heaven.
(Jn.3:27)
Humility is the hallmark of a true believer in whatever position he or she may be.


You Won’t Indulge Your Children.
When God has blessed you, you won’t have the feeling that whatever you say is the best idea. When your spouse wants to discipline your children, you won’t insist that he could not do so because if they are ill, you are the one that will pay hospital bills. Children raised under such environment will have a faulty upbringing that will create problems for them in the future.

DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
• Go through the list of responsibilities in your home, is there any one of them that you will never do if circumstances push it to you?

PRAYER
Father, may I joyfully and gratefully take on any responsibility in the home whenever circumstances make it imperative for me to do so in Jesus’ name.




QUOTABLE QUOTE
IF AS A MAN, IT IS WHEN GOD HAS BLESSED YOU MATERIALLY THAT YOU DISCOVER THAT YOUR WIFE IS NO LONGER BEFITTING YOUR STATUS OR AS A WOMAN YOU ARE NO LONGER ABLE TO SUBMIT TO YOUR HUSBAND; SHOULD WE BLAME GOD FOR BLESSING YOUR LIFE? – Dr. Mike Oluniyi

MAIN TEXT: 1Cor.15:33.
MEMORY:
Do not be deceived: “Evil company corrupts good habits.”(1Cor.15:33)

The positive relationship mindset makes you to train your children to only allow friends and significant others to affect their lives positively. This mindset is reflected in the way you make them to know that relationship matters. Let them know that the people you relate with in life are some of the most important determinants of your destiny. Some of the teachings which may be useful at this stage are briefly discussed below:

Friends As Determinants Of Future Well-Being.
Let them know that friends have great potential to change their outlook on life and the way they respond to situations. They should therefore know and be able to practice the principle of separation due to destination; that is, if a friend is not going the same destination with you, it is better to separate from him so that you won’t end up at his own destination. If you have a friend that is not keen on making heaven, it is better you separate from him because you may end up going to hell with him.

Friends Should not erase who They are.
Let them know also that they should be real to themselves. They should not try to hide their identity while they are with friends because that can make them susceptible to being negatively influenced.

Every Friend Is Transient.
Let your children know that friends are transient in nature; none of them is permanent. However close a friend is to you, one day, the juncture of separation will come. The only permanent friend who will be with you throughout your life and even till eternity is Jesus Christ; it therefore becomes imperative to know him and continually be His friend.

Your Spouse Will Be Your Longest Serving Friend or Enemy.
This mindset will make you to teach your children that their spouse will be their longest serving friend or enemy. This will make them to be careful when time comes to decide on it. Let them know that on the average, they will spend at least two thirds of their entire lifetime with their life partner. If it is so then, they have to be careful of their choice of life partner. Consequently, the choice of whom to marry is one of the most important decisions they will have to make in life.

Your Friends Should Not Be Regarded As A Spare Tyre.
Most people make use of their friends the way they treat the spare tyre of their car. Hardly do you check the state of your spare tyre until you need it. You teach them that people that are useful to them should not just be called on when they are needed, there is need to check on their welfare once in a while, so that by the time they are needed, they may still be available.

Discussion Points.
• In what ways are we showing interest in, and monitoring the friends that our children are moving with?

PRAYER
Father, use me to help my children to be selective about the friends they keep so that they will not be negatively influenced in Jesus’ name.


QUOTABLE QUOTE
BE SELECTIVE ABOUT THE FRIENDS YOU KEEP BECAUSE THEY ARE SOME OF THE GREATEST DETERMINANTS OF YOUR DESTINY. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi

MAIN TEXT: Heb.12:5-8.
MEMORY:
For whom the Lord loves He chastens,
And scourges every son whom He receives.(Heb.12:6)

This mindset requires you to love your children; that appears to be quite obvious but the love must be genuine love. A lot of ways in which we try to demonstrate love to our children aren’t really love. For instance, many of us whose some of our children occupy a special position in our family tend to overindulge such children to demonstrate our love for them, without knowing that we are actually destroying their future.

Love, But It Should Not Prevent You From Taking Hard Decisions.
Hard decisions are good decisions that are not popular due to the sacrifice involved but you are ready to take it even if other members of the family don’t understand now. Sometimes, even your spouse may not really understand initially why you are taking such hard decisions but you know it is in the best interest of the family.

Love, But Don’t Spare The Rod Of Correction.(Heb.12:11)

Many parents, especially for those children that occupy special position in their lives, find it difficult to discipline or correct them when thy err. If you don’t discipline a child because you don’t want him to cry, you will cry with him later when the effect of your laxity is reflected.

Love, But Let Them Value Labour.(Gen.2:2;Pro.22:29)
Right from the time that your child is young, give him work to do at home and make him to value it. When you make a child, whether male or female, to grow up totally dependent on the maid who cooks, washes and carry out every instruction from him, you are raising up an adult who may become a problem for everyone in relationship with him in the future. (2Thess.3:6-12)

Love, But Let Them Learn.
Often, parents apparently out of love for their children indulge them so much that it affects their learning opportunities.

Love, But Don’t Allow Them To Take advantage Of Others.
Teach your children to avoid taking advantage of others. The vulnerability of others should not be exploited for a selfish advantage by your child.

Love, But Let Them Periodically Experience Inconveniences.
Don’t allow your child to always have his way as it can make him to become a problem for people that he will be relating with in the future. He should know that “Yes” is not always the answer to every request. He must learn that “No” as well as “Wait” are also answers that should be acceptable to him as he relates with people.

Love, But Allow Him To Grow up.
There are men and women that though they are physically matured, are unfortunately emotionally toddlers. It is a problem that comes up when you love a child so much that you don’t allow him to experience the process of growth which involves taking decisions and going through the consequences of those decisions whether good or bad.

It is not every action which you take about your children that is actually of genuine love. As parents, you must be careful to ensure that you don’t take steps that will jeopardize the future of your child, all in the name of love.

DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
• Frankly speaking, in view of the above, in what ways can we demonstrate more of the genuine love mindset in the training of our children?

PRAYER
Father, help me not to destroy the future of my children while thinking that I am showing them love in Jesus’ name.

QUOTABLE QUOTE
IF YOU “LOVE” YOUR CHILDREN SO MUCH THAT YOU DON’T WANT THEM TO CRY NOW, YOU WILL STILL CRY AGAIN WITH THEM WHEN THE EFFECT OF YOUR FAULTY PARENTING BECOMES EVIDENT IN THEIR LIVES. -Dr. Mike Oluniyi

MAIN TEXT: Phil.3:17-20
MEMORY:
Brethren, join in following my example, and note those who so walk, as you have us for a pattern. (Phil.3:17)

The modeling mindset make you to see yourself as the model through which your children will perceive the right or wrong way of doing things in life. This mindset is so important in parenting because most of the things your children will learn from you are going to be taught through informal means, most of which will be non verbal. In other words, most of the virtues that they will learn from you will be through their observation of your ways of life. That means the way you do things as a parent matters. Whether you like it or not, you are like a model to your children. If you have this mindset, you will pay attention to the following as the areas where you can model the right attitudes in your children:

Your Relationship With God.
It is possible for you to deceive outsiders about your relationship with God but you may not really be able to hide the real you from members of your family. Your children will definitely discover how sincere you are in your relationship with God. You must be able to model the true life of a believer at home. If not, you are just a hypocrite and you can be sure that your children will rebel against your God in the future.

Your Marriage.
You can successfully model a lot of appropriate godly virtues to your children through the way you relate with your spouse. There is no better way of demonstrating love and acceptance than the way you relate with your spouse.

Your Attitude To Money.
If you are ready to tell lies, cheat and commit fraud in the course of looking for money, one of them may graduate to actual robbery or be ready to even use human being for money rituals in the future.

Your Relationships.
Do you just make use of people, only to discard them later? If you are such a person, you are modeling lack of appreciation of the helpers of their lives. You may discover that one or more of them may actually go beyond your own level by discarding even their spouses in the future.

Your Handling Of Disappointments And Success.
They should learn through you that it is only God that will never disappoint them; they should not be surprised if someone they trusted so much ended up disappointing them. Make them to realize that it is in the nature of human beings to disappoint. (Jer.17:5)

Your Attitude To Work.
Model your aversion to laziness through the conduct of your life. This is one of the virtues that is difficult to teach your children theoretically. How do you handle your business and that of others? (Pro.6:6-11).


Attitude To Time.
The scriptures make us to realize that there is time and purpose for everything under the sun. (Eccl.3:1) Let them know time wasted is gone forever, never to be regained. Let them know that if they while away their youthful days, there will be a time that they will look back with regrets.

Your attitude To Integrity.
One of the best ways to teach integrity is to use your life to teach it. For instance, most people only tell their children where they got it right in life, you hardly tell others where you failed.

DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
• Have you noticed that your children are often like the mirrors of who we are at home?

PRAYER
LORD, help me to model the right attitudes in the children you have given me both biologically and spiritually in Jesus’ name.


QUOTABLE QUOTE
YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE ARE LIKE MIRROR FOR YOUR CHILDREN; WHAT WILL BE SEEN IN THEIR LIVES IN THE FUTURE ARE LARGELY REFLECTION OF WHO YOU ARE. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi