THE CARETAKER MINDSET IN PARENTING : Couple’s Companion Day 74

MAIN TEXT: Ps. 127:3-5
MEMORY:
Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord:
and the fruit of the womb is his reward…(Ps.127:3)

This mindset makes you to see God as the owner of your child and that you are just a steward who will ultimately render account of how you raised the child to God.
Please note the following as caretaker of the children that God has given you:

You are not the property owner but a privileged representative.
Look around, you will discover those of your age, who never had the privilege of having their own children. Some of them never had the privilege of getting married in the first place while there are those who got married but never experienced the joy of parenthood through no fault of theirs. That you got married and have your children should be a source of appreciation to God by you because the story is not the same for everyone.

You are to care for the property according to the instructions of the owner.
If your children belong to Him, it follows that you must take care of the property the way the owner asked you to do it. One of the most important assignments of the owner of the children is that of teaching and training.
Train up a child in the way he should go:
and when he is old, he will not depart from it. (Prov.22.6)

You must neither abuse nor allow the abuse of the property.
As a parent, you have a responsibility of ensuring that your children are always paid attention to, so that they don’t get into wrong hands.

Your wages will depend on how satisfactory your stewardship of the property is.
God has not asked you to labour in vain over these children. When you bring them up in the ways of the Lord, fulfillment is one of the most significant wages that you will receive for your stewardship over them. (Ps.127:4-5)

As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man;
so are children of the youth.
Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them:
they shall not be ashamed,
but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate. (Psa.127:4-5)

However long it takes, a time of accountability will come.
Prophet Eli was a great man of God. However, in the area of the training of his children, he was a failure. Though he succeeded as a prophet of the LORD, he failed in the area of the training of his children.(1Sam.3:11-14)

The Way You Handle Your Children May Determine How Joyful Your End Will Be.
There are people who spend their later years in sorrow and even die early as a result of the effects of lack of training in the life of their children.

As a caretaker, you must take your assignment seriously and ensure that you do not disappoint God that gave you the assignment. May you not fail God in Jesus’ name.

DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
• In what ways have we been raising our children in the ways of the LORD?

PRAYER
I receive the grace to bring up my children in the will of God in Jesus’ name.



QUOTABLE QUOTE
PAY ATTENTION TO YOUR CHILDREN, YOUR JOY DURING OLD AGE MAY DEPEND HEAVILY ON HOW SUCCESSFULLY YOU TRAIN THEM. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi

Family Finance (8): Matters of Debt Avoidance/Elimination : Couple’s Companion Day 73

Proverbs 22:7
The rich ruleth over the poor,
and the borrower is servant to the lender.

One of the major matters that arise concerning family finance is the issue of debt. There are a lot of families that are neck deep in avoidable debt. They don’t like the situation but instead of getting out of it, they are rather getting deeper and deeper into more debts due to ignorance. We are going to look at the matter of debt from two angles:

Avoidance
Never go into debt without ensuring that it is unavoidable and that you are using the money for a productive purpose which you should be able to pay back. Have aversion for debt; Remember that no loan is free, there is payback and usually with interest; Be convinced that whatever you may use loan for may be achieved with your resources, though it may be slow. Be convinced that pressure for loan repayment can shorten your life. If you must take loan, please note the following;
• There is no free loan, you have to pay back with interest.
• Ask yourself whether you really need the loan before the offer comes because once the offer comes, most people are not able to say no.
• Honestly look at your finances, will you be able to pay back? Will what you are obtaining the loan for increase your capacity to generate more income?
• Imagine the worst case scenario; in case you can’t pay back, what are the implications? Will your family be able to accommodate the consequences of not paying back? If your residence was used as collateral, what will happen to your family if you can’t afford to pay back?
The answer to the above questions may help you to decide whether to go ahead and accept the loan or not.

Elimination
Let there be the desire and determination to be free from debt. Nobody really enjoys being a debtor, but the elimination of debt requires the determination to take some steps which one may not be able to take otherwise. Some of the steps which may be taken to be debt-free are as follows:
1. Prayerfully determine that you want to get out of debt.
2. Determine your financial situation by frankly listing all the debts that you owe. You may look at the possibility of selling off some of your possessions in order to reduce the debt.
3. Open up to your spouse about the details of the debt.
4. Stop adding to your debt by refusing to add fresh debts however attractive the terms are.
5. Cut down on expenses so that you may be able to save some money which may be identified as usable for repayment.
6. You may also consider an activity that may bring in extra income that may be used for repayments.
7. Have a repayment plan for each of the debts you are owing and communicate with your creditors.
8. Avoid any temptation to suspend repayments because once your default, the interest is compounded and borne by you.
9. Never allow the fear of your creditors to demobilize or cripple your health because it will complicate matters. Instead of fear, plan and face reality!

DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
• How can we eliminate the debts that we are currently owing?

Prayer Points.
Father, we receive divine wisdom to eliminate and avoid debts in this family in Jesus’ name.

QUOTABLE QUOTE
DEBT CAN SHORTEN YOUR LIFE, RUN AWAY FROM IT. -Dr. Mike Oluniyi

FAMILY FINANCE (7): MATTERS OF SAVINGS AND INVESTMENTS : Couple’s Companion Day 72

Text: Gen. 41:34-36
MEMORY:
Let Pharaoh do this, and let him appoint officers over the land, and take up the fifth part of the land of Egypt in the seven plenteous years. (Gen.41:34)

Although we have to put our hope in God, that doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t be planning ahead for the future. The scripture under our consideration today makes us to realize that it is wise to save and invest. In the above scripture, Joseph counseled Pharaoh to save during the period of plenty in preparation for the period of scarcity, and that saved a whole nation from destruction.
Savings in the form of keeping money in an account just in case of any need in the future is very good but appears challenging to most people, myself inclusive. However, you may expand the issue of savings to include everything that you set aside now to delay its consumption until a future date. Some of such savings and investments include the following:
• Purchasing properties such as real estate.
• Purchasing equipment which can make you to increase your future earnings.
• Acquiring further education.
• Writing book in your area of interest.
• Taking insurance policies
• Learning a trade.
• Buying stocks.
• Joining and participating in a cooperative society.
• Educating your children.
• Renovating your property and equipment.

Any of the above is like little drops of water which may appear to be little when you are doing it, but which may become life-saving in the future. Every couple must cultivate the habit of putting something aside for the future. There are emergencies that may come up and embarrass you as a family if you don’t cultivate the habit of saving. In such situation, you may be left with no option other than to take loan from unconventional sources. There are loans you will take and be required to pay back with one hundred percent interest because you have no other choice. However, note that there are obstacles that prevent people from saving and investing. Some of such obstacles are:
• Ignorance.
• Inability to delay gratification.
• Love for shortcuts.
• Distractions.
• Love for luxury goods.
• Lack of self discipline.
• Inability to carry your spouse along.
• The feeling that it will always be easy.
You will be doing your family a lot of good if you cultivate the habit of not consuming all that come in for your family.
There is desirable treasure, And oil in the dwelling of the wise, But a foolish man squanders it.(Prov.21:20)
If your spouse is the type who does not believe in the practice, you may need to encourage him or her and if he failed to be encouraged, you may with wisdom go ahead to do it to secure the future of the family. There are husbands who said that building a house was not their priority but their wives went ahead to build and at the end of the day he lost his job and the position in which he was, only for the house to serve as the saving grace for the family. It is an error for you to believe that resources will continually be abundant and therefore fail to keep something for the future. Don’t squander the resources available for you now; the future may demand for it.

DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
• Do we have savings and investment culture in this home?
• Wherr do we need to start or improve from where we are?

PRAYER
Father, I receive divine wisdom and enablement to cultivate the habit of savings and investment in Jesus’ name.


QUOTABLE QUOTE
DON’T SQUANDER THE RESOURCES AVAILABLE FOR YOU NOW; YOUR FUTURE MAY DEMAND FOR IT. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi

FAMILY FINANCE (6): MATTERS OF DUAL RESPONSIBILITIES : Couple’s Companion Day 71

Text. Jn.3:26-29.
MEMORY:
John answered and said, A man can receive nothing, except it be given him from heaven.
(Jn.3:27)
In most homes, there is a line of demarcation between husband and wife as to the financial responsibilities of both. It is conventional for the husband to be responsible for school fees, house rent and other visible items of expenditure in the home. Such arrangements make a man to appear to be in charge. However, we should be careful about such exclusions in marriage because it may cause problems in the home in future. In a family, the way you dispense your resources should demonstrate that you are one. You should not have an exclusive list of responsibilities.
As you decide together in what area to spend the funds that come in through your individual efforts, makes it imperative for you to depend on each other for financial decision-making in the home. This ultimately leads to greater bonding and unity in the home.
Another advantage of such a practice is that it makes you to see yourself as not being independent but as being part of a whole as stated in Matthew 19:6-
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.
Countless marriages have broken down because of the feeling of independence i.e., when
either the husband or wife has the feeling that he or she can conveniently do without the other just because you have the feeling that you are earning enough. Such feeling makes it difficult for the wife to be submissive to the husband and it makes the husband not to be committed to his spouse. The intention of God was that we should be interdependent.
And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him. (Gen.2:18)
Yet another advantage is that when there is loss of job or loss of income, there is likely to be
less complaints as the partner knows that responsibilities in the home does not reside permanently with any member. There are homes that once there is loss of job of the husband, even when the wife can afford it, she refuses to do it. The home suffers ultimately for funds which though are available are not made available as a result of relationship flaws.
One other advantage of this approach is that it teaches your children vital lessons on unity of purpose in the family.
To achieve this in a family, however, requires high level of trust. Where trust is not total, the arrangement is not likely to work. For instance, when a woman has reason to doubt the integrity of her husband, probably as a result of having caught him in extra-marital relationship. Many women may also not subscribe to the idea if there are records of dishonesty in spending in their husbands.

DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
• How far do we believe and practice the principle of dual responsibilities in this family?
• Do we trust each other enough to jointly commit our resources to agreed goals?

PRAYER
Father, help us in this family to see our resources as being jointly owned in Jesus’ name.

QUOTABLE QUOTE
IF THERE IS ANY LINE OF DEMARCATION BETWEEN THE FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITIES BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE, IT MUST BE ERASED; IF CIRCUMSTANCES MAKE YOU TO BE IN POSITION TO TAKE THE TWO RESPONSIBILITIES, SINCERELY, IT IS A PRIVILEGE. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi

FAMILY FINANCE (5): MATTERS OF THE MANAGEMENT OF SETBACKS : Couple’s Companion Day 70

MAIN TEXT: Pro.24:16-18.
For a righteous man may fall seven times
And rise again,…(Prov.24:16a)

One major fact of life which is so real in marriage is that the journey is not always that of continuous success. It is important to know that one of the major matters that arise in marital finances is the management of failure. I read a story recently of a man who committed suicide together with his wife and children in America. He was a very brilliant boy while at school and while in the university too, he broke all records and went on to have his MBA, after which he got a good job. He then got married to a beautiful lady and they acquired a big five-bedroom home and several luxury cars. Everything went well until there was an economic downturn that affected his company which resulted in him being laid off. Due to the luxury lifestyle that he was used to, he and his wife could not face the embarrassment of losing their house and scaling down their living style. It was mutually agreed that they should commit suicide. The man shot his wife, children and then finally killed himself.

There is need for couples to understand the need for learning not just how to manage success but to manage setbacks. It is critical for your marriage to succeed, that you learn how to manage setbacks because the unexpected often occur in marriage. Please take note of the following as they may help you to acquire the right mindset about setbacks:
• Never allow the devil to make you lose hope. Losing hope will make you to be blind to other alternative options.
• The story has not ended. Setback in any area of your life is not the end of your story; it is just a chapter in the story of your life. If your business fails, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you cannot succeed in another venture in future.
• Failure in an area may open door in another area. Often, failure in one area may open another door of opportunity. Consequently, you should be on the lookout, as a closed door in one area may open another door which will lead to the same destination.
• Never abandon your family when experiencing setback. The devil may tell you that the best option for you is to abandon your family and escape. Never listen to such counsels.
• Remember that every problem has an expiry date. Though you don’t know when and how it will be resolved, believe that your God will do it. Don’t allow your life to be over before the problem is over.
• Try to imagine the worst case scenario and make up your mind that you will still survive it. If you have obtained a loan and the bank is threatening to take over your property, the fear of it alone may paralyze you. It is something I have experienced. However, if you are able to imagine the worst case scenario of the property being taken over, you may discover that it should not really be the end of your life. In most cases, the worst case scenario will not occur but the devil may use the fear of it to destroy your life.

Acquiring skills to manage setbacks are as important as the skills to manage success. Many have lost hope during the period of setbacks and done what they should never have done. Our scripture for today tells us that a righteous man may fall seven times and rise again. Never see a setback as the end. You will get out of it in Jesus’ name.

DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
• Have you experienced some challenges in your finances before and how did you manage the situation as a couple?

PRAYER
I shall get out of any financial challenges in Jesus’ name.



QUOTABLE QUOTE

HOWEVER TOUGH IT BECOMES IN MARRIAGE, CIRCUMSTANCES ADJUST FOR THOSE WHO ARE RESOLUTE IN KEEPING THEIR MARRIAGE. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi

Back To Top