MAIN TEXT: Matt.7:3-5 

MEMORY:Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye. (Matt.7:5) 

Though you must not allow your joy to depend solely on the actions of your spouse, you on your part should do everything to provide him pleasure. You should do everything within your power to make your marriage a delight by ensuring that you make your home a pleasant one. Following are some of the suggested ways of giving pleasure to your spouse: Have Pleasure In Giving Pleasure.Let it be your joy to make your spouse happy.

Even when he or she is the other way round, you should derive pleasure in making the relationship between the two of you pleasurable. Learn His Definition Of Fun.What is fun to your friend’s spouse may be disgusting to your own spouse. You must deliberately learn your partner’s definition of fun. When you discover what gives your partner fun and you are desirous of doing it, you will be a source of joy to your partner while he will also be to you. Provide Sex As and When Due And How It Is Needed.It is not an overstatement to say that if you want to make your marriage to be a delight, you must not be economical with sex. Make yourself available for sex with your spouse when and how it is needed. In a situation in which there is great divergence in the desired frequency between you and your spouse, you must be ready to reach compromise with your spouse. You must be as generous as possible in reaching such compromise. When you see a couple that appears to always be excited about each other, one of the major ingredients of that joyful home is sexual satisfaction.Be Unselfish And Ready To Sacrifice Your Own Pleasure.One of the secret sources of smooth running of a home is partners that are desirous of putting the other first. When this unselfish attempt to please one’s partner is mutual it makes the home a pleasant place to be for every member of the family.Never Block The Communication Lines!One of the best ways of providing pleasure for your spouse is by making up your mind never to remove any of the sources of connection between the two of you even when there are offenses. These sources of connection may include the following;Talking together, using the same bed, doing things such as eating and bathing together, praying together,  touching each other, depending on each other for something, calling each other when not together, remembering important dates etc.

 DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE* In which areas do you think that each of you can improve in giving pleasure to each other. PRAYERFather, help me to always be ready to do things that will contribute to making our marriage a pleasurable one in Jesus’ name.(498 words) 

QUOTABLES QUOTES

ALWAYS BE DETERMINED TO DAILY PUT IN SOMETHING TO MAKE YOUR HOME MORE DELIGHTSOME. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi.

MAIN TEXT: Matt.19:4-6.

MEMORY:
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.(Matt.19:6)

Can you imagine what marriage would have been like, if it is our feelings for each other on wedding day that prevails throughout our lifetime! Unfortunately, most of the time it is not so. In fact, the journey is so rough that an alarming percentage end up in divorce. Who knows what you are even going through now? Complex matters often arise in marriage that gradually drain ‘wine’ from marriage and put it in a downward drive towards separation or divorce! When the reality of those challenges dawn on you, your commitment to keeping the home should come into play. Your commitment should make you to be determined not to truncate but to complete the journey. If you are to do so, you should pay attention to the following:

Learn What Advanced Forgiveness Is All About.
Make up your mind in advance that whatever your partner do to offend you in the future has already been forgiven. The truth is that you will be offended!

Learn to rebuild trust, even when you have been disappointed.
If you really want to complete the journey of marriage, there will be need for trust. When there is absence of trust, a lot of simple matters become big issues which may truncate the journey.

Expect challenges and overcome them!
In any marriage, there are bound to be periods of crisis. So, when you experience the unexpected, don’t have the feeling that you are the only one having challenges in marriage. You should also not feel that your problem is the greatest.

Not all counsels will be applicable in your marriage.
There may be strategies that your friend used to solve a major problem in her own marriage that if you attempt it in your home will lead to its collapse. The reason is that the circumstances surrounding the two homes are different.

Problems have expiry date.
However serious a problem is, since it has a beginning, it must have an end. Although it is often not easy, if you can just keep your peace and hand over the key to your joy to God, you will discover in not too distant time that it is all over.

Time heals all wound.
However embarrassing a situation your spouse has caused and whatever may be the level of the publicity, the news will soon become stale. It is a matter of time, the news will soon die down. (Eph.4:26)
Prolonged anger may deal a devastating blow on your home, avoid it.

DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
* Go Through the vows you took on your wedding day once again and convince yourselves that this union must last throughout your lifetime despite any challenges that you are experiencing or may come your way.
* Can you really say that you are doing your best in making this marriage a delight?

PRAYER
Father, help me never to cooperate with the devil to reduce the pleasure that my spouse experiences in this relationship in Jesus’ name.


QUOTABLE QUOTE

THE RACE OF MARRIAGE IS A MARATHON; SO, YOU NEED STAMINA TO FINISH THE RACE. -Dr. Mike Oluniyi

MAIN TEXT: Jer.17:5-8.

MEMORY:
…Cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, …(

Most of us expect our spouse to keep us happy. Once that does not happen, it makes us miserable because our expectation of pleasure from them is so high. In fact a very high percentage of lack of fulfillment in marriage is that of feelings resulting from spousal disappointment. Some of the reasons why your joy should not be solely dependent on your spouse are;
– He is a human being who has his own personal issues to attend to.
– When you offend him, it may be difficult for him to make you happy until the conflict is over.
– There are certain circumstances of life which may prevent your spouse from making you happy as much as he would have desired to.
– He also may lose his own joy for one reason or the other, it may not be reasonable to expect him to give you what he doesn’t have.
– Spiritual forces may operate against your union, thereby even making him to be a source of concern to you.
– Other matters may distract his attention from making you happy.
– As a result of some personal weaknesses on his part, your spouse may deliberately decide not to make you happy even for a season.

Who Then Should Hold the Key to Your Joy?
You should allow your God to hold the key to your joy by opening up, interacting with and living the treasure chest of the promises of God in the scriptures; (

When your joy is dependent on God, several things will happen:
– You will see your spouse as a human being who has the tendency to disappoint at any time.
– You will be determined to love your spouse despite knowing that you may often be disappointed.
– You will be able to appreciate him for any little good deed he performs. Appreciating your spouse for little things will likely make him to be determined to do more to please you.
– You will be able to ask God for help to be your best in that marriage.
– You won’t hold him responsible for your joy; you are responsible because, even if he does something bad, you can choose how to respond.
– Then, whatever bad news anyone gives you about your spouse can’t make you sad because you are in charge of your life.

Really, who holds the key of joy in your marriage is a decision you must make and it flows from who you are in Christ. When you are personally secured about who you are, it will be difficult for anyone or circumstances to frustrate you or make you to lose your joy.

DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
* Try to remember the times which you made each other unhappy in the past; which ones were deliberate, which were not deliberate?
* If your joy In so dependent on who you are in Jesus Christ, how is your relationship with Him?
* Do you know that the better your relationship with Jesus Christ, the more you will likely make each other happy?

PRAYER
My father and my God, may I always grow in my relationship with you so that my joy will be more dependent on you than anyone else in Jesus’ name.


QUOTABLE QUOTE
LET GOD HOLD THE KEY TO YOUR JOY BECAUSE IF IT IS HELD BY ANY OTHER PERSON, YOU WILL OFTEN BE SAD. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi

MAIN TEXT: SS. 4:7-10

MEMORY:
How fair is thy love, my sister, my spouse!
how much better is thy love than wine!
and the smell of thine ointments than all spices! (SS.4:10)

One of the most important ingredients of a delightsome home is that of complete acceptance of your spouse with every possible imperfection in his or her life. You must believe that your spouse is the best that you could have ever had; the choice of God for your life and your own portion in life. This is real work because indeed you will see those who are apparently ‘better’ than your spouse in at least one area of life. It may be in terms of looks, resources, position or even sometimes ministry. As a child of God for instance, you may see a man who can do ministry assignments better than your husband, but you must deliberately convince yourself that you have got the best. Once you are thinking that someone is better than your spouse, that person may become an alternative attraction to your spouse which could be deadly to your marriage.
It is only when you see your spouse as being your own beautiful portion in life that:
– You will continue to be excited about him or her as God’s choice for your life. Your home can’t be a delightsome one if you don’t seem to be excited about your spouse.
– You will continue to enjoy the relationship. If you keep resenting your spouse, you will continue to discover error in whatever he or she does.
– It becomes easy to pardon the faults of your spouse. It will be apparent to you that any other person as your spouse would have done worse.
– Due to your satisfaction, other alternatives will come short of your expectations. When you are satisfied with your spouse, it is more difficult for you to fall into the temptation of adultery.
– You will do everything within your power to protect his or her interest. This usually gets reciprocated, thereby contributing to the pleasure the two of you will derive from the relationship.
– You will remember that another option, however good it is, will come with its own set of problems which will make that of your spouse to pale into insignificance.
– You will be ready to overlook, and even enjoy, the imperfections or weaknesses of your spouse. When you are constantly complaining about the errors or the weaknesses of your spouse, you will only succeed in sending the wrong messages to him or her. There are some weaknesses in your spouse that will never change, no matter how you complain. When you believe that your spouse is the best you could have ever got, it makes you to overlook the weaknesses in him or her.

DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
* Tell each other why your choice of spouse is the best that could have ever been made.

PRAYER
Father, let me always see reason to be excited about my spouse in Jesus’ name.


QUOTABLE QUOTE
WHEN YOU BELIEVE THAT YOUR SPOUSE IS THE BEST, EVERY OF HIS/ HER WEAKNESS IS SEEN AS NECESSARY INGREDIENT TO MAKE YOUR HOME UNIQUE. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi

Text: Eccl.4:9-12

MEMORY: Eccl.4:12
And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.

When you newly fall in love and during the early years of marriage, emotions rule your actions and reactions and keep your relationship pleasurable. However, after a period of time which varies from one couple to the other, you will discover that emotions will give way to reality. In fact, those features like the shape of particular parts of her body, style of movement and even sex to some extent progressively lose their appeal. That is when the test of commitment comes to play. You will then start seeing each other’s faults. At such times, you may do things that will irretrievably harm your marriage. A responsible man or woman should be able to realize at this stage that despite the faults of his or her spouse, commitment to the vows of marriage should now be what will keep the relationship going.
Couples who make it to the end are not the ones who never had reason to get divorced or never fought; they are simply those who decided early in their marriages that their commitment to each other was going to be greater than their differences and flaws; they are the ones that decided earlier on that whatever happened along the journey of marriage, their marriage would be ‘…till death do us part.’
You must realize that nothing, under normal circumstances, should really be big enough to make you think of separation. According to the wedding vows, there may be disagreements, differences, sicknesses, trying times etc. Whatever the circumstances, it is just part of the experience of the journey and should normally not lead to divorce because the tenure of marriage is for a lifetime.

WHAT COMMITMENT WILL ACHIEVE FOR YOUR HOME
When you are committed to your home, the following, and many more, happen:
You will overlook faults.
Commitment to your home will make you to overlook the faults of your spouse and be determined to persevere even in the face of challenges.

You will not see divorce as an option.
Your commitment will make you to be determined to keep your home and not see divorce as an option when difficulties arise.

You are ready to sacrifice greatly for your home.
Even when others are looking at you as being stupid. Your commitment will make you to be ready to sacrifice anything for your home to survive.

You will try everything that can make your home work.
As a woman, you will be ready to go to any length to demonstrate your submission to your husband and as a the husband, your love for your wife will not be in doubt.

You will make your home a priority.
The home of a committed husband or wife comes before any other consideration.

You will avoid all forms of infidelity.
Commitment to your home will make you to avoid all forms of infidelity since you know that it has the potency to create problems whose magnitude may be too great for you to handle.

You will take the initiative towards reconciliation when there is conflict.
Commitment will make you ready to make the first move whenever there is conflict

In conclusion, anyone who desires a delightsome home must be committed to his or her home. Without commitment, anything can easily go wrong which may easily get out of hand and cause unlimited damage.

DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
*In what ways can we be more committed to this home?…

PRAYER
May I continually be committed to my home even under trying circumstances in Jesus’ name.


QUOTABLE QUOTE

COMMITMENT MAKES YOU TO REMEMBER THAT THE JOURNEY OF MARRIAGE DOES NOT TERMINATE BECAUSE OF CHALLENGES BUT BECAUSE OF DEATH.- Dr. Mike Oluniyi