MAIN TEXT: SS 2:1-4MEMORY:  As the lily among thorns,so is my love among the daughters.

(SS.2:2)  A delightsome marriage is one that gives you pleasure.

You are glad that you are in that relationship and appreciate God for giving you your spouse. When you arey away from home, you miss your home. When you see him or her in the afternoon, you are looking forward to bedtime. When someone tells you something, you are looking forward to when you can share it with your spouse. When someone offends you, you are looking forward to reporting to him; Even if you are with one hundred people, you are lonely if he is not among the hundred; When he has a problem, it is like you are the one having the problem; also, when he triumphs, you want people to rejoice with you; when he is not around, you look forward to his arrival; When you look at your spouse as a gift of God for your life. Your day has not started well if you have not held your hands to pray together.  A marriage like this may appear utopian to many people, especially those who are having one challenge or the other in their home, but it is achievable. Today we shall be looking at the reasons why your marriage has to be a delight as follows: That’s The Way God Planned It.And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.

(Gen.2:18) Life Can Be Terrible When Things Are Wrong At  Home.

When things go wrong at home, it affects virtually every other area of life such as your physical and emotional health, productivity at work and  even the way you relate with others.Your Spouse Will Be Your Longest Lasting Friend or Foe.Your spouse is the one that will make the greatest impact in your life and for the longest period of time. He will either be your longest serving friend or foe.So That You Won’t Envy Others Who Are Having Delightsome Homes.If your marriage is not a delight, seeing those whose homes are pleasurable may be a source of sadness and envy to you.So That Your Children May Learn From Their Parents.The state of your family affects your children most profoundly. So many researches point to the fact that children that grow up in family where there is love and stability grow up exhibiting those traits and with the desire to replicate it in their own homes in the future. So That You May Be Salt And Light (Matt.5:13-14;16)Your marriage needs to be a delight so that it can be a reference point to others in the world.  We may therefore conclude that it is vital to your physical and emotional well-being, that of your children and the society at large for you to have a delightsome home. It does not however just happen, it requires work. It is only those that desire and work towards it that are able to experience it.

 DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE* Will you honestly say that your home is a delightsome home?* If It is not really delightsome, when did things really go wrong, since it could not have been so from the beginning? 

PRAYER: Father, help me to be able to make the necessary sacrifice for my home to return to our first love in Jesus’ name.

 QUOTABLE QUOTE

A DELIGHTSOME MARRIAGE DOES NOT JUST HAPPEN.  IT OCCURS BECAUSE THE PARTNERS WORK TOWARDS MAKING THE MARRIAGE A DELIGHT.  ARE YOU WORKING ON YOUR OWN? -Dr Mike Oluniyi

Main text. Proverbs 4:5-9
Proverbs 4:7
Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom:
and with all thy getting get understanding. (Prov.4:7)

It is a terrible experience when your spouse is working against or is not interested in your vision. However trying the situation is, wisdom is the principal virtue you need in such situation, and without it, you will further complicate matters for your life and ministry. You may take the following steps:
Examine Yourself.
Look inwards and examine if there is any way you have opened doors for the devil to operate against your ministry. Is there any way you have allowed iniquity to thrive in your life or ministry? (Rom.6:1-2; Hebrews 10:26-29)
Sin can open doors for the devil to operate in your ministry and when he operates, he may use anybody including your spouse against you. If you discover persistent pattern of sin, it may be better for you to go to God, ask and receive forgiveness.
Ask The Right Questions.
Has your wife always been like that? If it was not so at the beginning, what caused it? What is the foundation of your relationship? Does she move with the right kind of people? Is she fulfilled doing what she is doing presently in the ministry? Is there anything that might have disappointed her about your ministry?
Asking the right questions and getting response to them helps you to gain proper perspective of a matter and leads you to pray right.
Pray Right.
One of the most important things we should know as ministers of God is the need to pray right. Often, we spend considerable time binding, casting and loosing when we are supposed to surrender ourselves to God in penitence. Some of the greatest prayers in the Bible are not necessarily long prayers but the right ones. We must learn to pray right (Jam.4:3)

Communicate.
One of the greatest instruments you can employ in marriage is communication. Instead of you warring with your spouse about her non-cooperation, why don’t you sit down to discuss with her. Someone will say that his wife will not say anything. But, have you checked whether she is afraid of what will happen if she dared to tell you the truth?

Empathize.
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feeling of someone else. Do you empathize with your spouse? Do you see things from her point of view? Do you actually seek to understand what her challenges are? If you ask your wife to resign her job because you feel she should not work outside the ministry, do you have an arrangement concerning how at least her basic needs will be met?

Discussion Points With Your Spouse
• Is there anything you are doing which is making your spouse to feel that he/ she is not part of the vision that God has given you?
• Suggest ways to each other on how you can carry your spouse along in your vision.

PRAYER
I receive that grace to be frank in examining myself in Jesus’ name.

QUOTABLE QUOTE

WHEN YOUR SPOUSE IS WORKING AGAINST YOUR VISION, IT MAY NOT BE THE TIME TO GO TO THE MOUNTAIN TO PRAY THAT YOUR SPOUSE SHOULD DIE. IT MAY RATHER BE THE TIME TO ASK YOURSELF WHERE YOU WENT WRONG. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi

Main Text: Gen.18:17-19
Memory:
For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the Lord, to do justice and judgment; that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.(Gen.18:19)

Trust is very important in your relationship with your spouse. When there is high level of trust, your spouse may be ready to go to any level in supporting whatever you embark upon.
Following are some of the sources of loss of trust in a minister’s home:
You May Betray It Through Immorality.
Immorality is the source of fall for many ministers of God and is the reason why countless people have lost the trust of their spouses. Imagine a woman who discovers that you are having an affair with a member of the ministry. Whenever you go for external ministrations she will conclude that it is another opportunity for you to commit adultery. How easily can such woman identify or run with the vision God has given you? Ministers of God are highly prone to sexual temptations. When you fall into it, it will not only negatively affect your relationship with God, it will also make you to lose the trust of your wife and reduce her commitment to your ministry.
Don’t lose the trust of your wife through immorality.
You May Lose It Through Disobedience.
Another potential way of losing the trust of your spouse is through disobedience to God. Your not being obedient to God who has given you the vision is a way of communicating to your spouse that the vision is not important to you. If the vision is not important to you, how could it be more important to someone who is supposed to be your helper?

You May Lose It Through Lack Of Integrity.
Are you a man of your word? A man of integrity is a honest man; a man that is the same whether in the secret or in the open. How reliable are you? When your spouse notices that your actions are opposite to your words or preaching, it makes you to lose her trust.
You May Lose It Through Wasteful Spending
Can you be trusted to be prudent in the management of finance? Many have lost the trust of their spouse and the entire ministry through wasteful spending.
You May Lose It Through Laziness.
Even if you are a full-time minister, how many hours do you spend on the assignment God has given you?
You May Lose It Through Undesirable Relationships.
Sometimes, your wife may just be against a particular person because of the way of life of that person. The person may even be a minister of God. When you move with people who cannot be trusted, you may lose her trust.
You May Lose It Through The Evil Workings Of The Devil.
Often, many lose trust through no fault of theirs. The devil may play on your ignorance to set you up with a particular problem that can make you to lose the trust of your spouse (2Cor.2:11).

Discussion Points With Your Spouse
* Is there any way we have been losing our trust in each other?
* What are the steps we can take to restore trust in each other so that the vision may be positively impacted.

PRAYER
My father and God I separate myself from anything that is making me to lose trust in Jesus’ name.

QUOTABLE QUOTE
IF YOU LOSE THE TRUST OF YOUR SPOUSE, IT MAY NOT BE REGAINED SOON, AND THE CONSEQUENCES WILL ALWAYS BE VISIBLE AROUND YOU. -Dr. Mike Oluniyi

Main Text: Hab.2:2-3
Memory:
And the Lord answered me, and said,
Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables,
that he may run that readeth it. (Hab.2:2-3)

You can’t actualize your vision alone; you need others to run with the vision. Among the those who will be used by God for your vision to become a reality is your spouse.
Today, we are going to look at some of the principles that can help towards making your spouse to believe in and run with your vision.

The Principle Of Vision Sharing.
If you desire your spouse to run with your vision, he/ she must understand what your vision is all about. Does your wife know what God has called you to do? (Hab.2:2-3)
The principle of building according to the given pattern.
Building according to pattern is all about doing what God has shown you in the vision you were given (Heb.8:5b). Every diversion from your vision confuses your spouse and makes her to see inconsistency and reduces the trust she has in the vision.
The principle of goal-setting.
Goal-setting is vital for your spouse and others to know what to do next (1Cor.14:8). Your vision is so broad but you need to break it down into time-bound achievable goals. When it is in such state, it motivates everyone involved to achieve success.
The principle of role appreciation/ fault-blindness.
The principle of role appreciation and fault blindness propagates the appreciation of the contributions of your spouse to the ministry and the refusal to hammer on her faults. Many of us are guilty of condemning whatever our spouse does and emphasizing their faults.
The principle of acceptance of complementary vision.
This principle talks about accepting and co-owning the vision God has given your spouse.
Many ministers of God are at war with their spouse over the vision that God has given their spouse. There are also pastors who feel threatened about the gifts of their spouse.
The principle of spousal counsel and evaluation.
Spousal counsel and evaluation here is about being open enough to allow your spouse to evaluate what the ministry is doing and give a word of advice. When your wife has a say through counseling and evaluation, it gives her the feeling that you are in the ministry together. She might want to go the extra mile to ensure that things work out well for the ministry.
The principle of joint altar.
The principle of joint altar is such a powerful catalyst for your spouse to run with your vision. Anything you pray about, you will be on the lookout for it to come to pass.

If you want your spouse to be passionate about your vision, it does not just happen. There is a need to work towards it and even when it is achieved, there is a need to keep paying attention to the above principles as they will make your spouse to believe that she is a significant stakeholder in the ministry.
Discussion Points With Your Spouse
* Discuss each of the principles above with your spouse and see how far you can observe them.
* Is there anyone of the principles that can’t work for you even if you are a businessman and not a minister of God?

PRAYER
My father and God, may my spouse be encouraged to run with my vision in Jesus’ name.

QUOTABLE QUOTE
YOU ARE THE GREATEST DETERMINANT OF WHETHER OR NOT YOUR SPOUSE WILL RUN WITH YOUR VISION. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi

“No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or else he will be loyal to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon” (Matt.6:24)

Your spouse may be used either by the Holy Spirit to strengthen your ministry or by the devil to weaken or destroy your ministry. It all depends on who is making use of him or her. You should note that it is a spouse that is growing spiritually that can be used by the Holy Spirit to help your life and ministry. Consequently, it is important that you take steps to encourage your spouse’s spiritual growth so that at any point in time, she will be an instrument in the hands of God to help your ministry.
Pray For Her And With Her.
The scripture talks about one chasing a thousand and two putting ten thousands to flight. There is tremendous power in praying together as a couple concerning your ministry. Praying for your wife is also vital during your own personal prayers.
Encourage Your Spouse To Seek God’s Face In Decision Making.
Encouraging your spouse to rely on God when taking decisions is important because someone that relies on God’s leading will not do anything that will be inimical to the progress of the ministry even when offended.
Let Your Spouse Know That The Answer Is Not Always YES.
There is need for your spouse to know that the fact that things are not working the way expected does not mean God has abandoned the project. Sometimes, the answer to prayers may be NO or WAIT.

Discourage unholy influences.
Those that your spouse associates with are a very significant determinant of whether or not the Holy Spirit will make use of her in your ministry.
Encourage Your Spouse To Have a Role Model.
Who is the role model or the mentor of your spouse? A good role model may be the spouse of a senior minister of God who is a good influence in his or her spouse’s ministry.
Encourage Your Spouse to mentor upcoming ones.
It is also important for your spouse to mentor others because true mentors don’t want to disappoint their mentees.
Encourage Your Spouse to value heaven.
Your spouse will likely be willing to make herself an instrument in the hand of the Holy Spirit if she values heaven and knows that the fulfillment of ministry is a significant part of what defines whether one will have a testimony like that of Apostle Paul. (2 Tim.4:7-8)

Whether it is the Holy Spirit or the Devil that will make use of your spouse is often a resultant effect of your efforts. You need to pray that God will give you the grace to sacrifice anything you need to sacrifice to be able to achieve this, because the benefits accumulate over time.
Discussion Points With Your Spouse
* What steps can you take to make each other to be greater instruments in the hands of the Holy Spirit?

PRAYER
Father, make my spouse to become a help for me in life and ministry in Jesus’ name.

QUOTABLE QUOTE
YOUR SPOUSE IN THE HAND OF THE HOLY SPIRIT IS THE GREATEST HELP FOR YOUR LIFE; IN THE HAND OF THE DEVIL, YOUR SPOUSE IS THE GREATEST DESTRUCTIVE AGENT IN YOUR LIFE. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi