MAIN TEXT: Proverbs 16:2
MEMORY:
All the ways of a man are clean in his own eyes;
but the Lord weigheth the spirits.(Pro.16:2)

One day, our last born who always liked being with me begged me that I should allow her to follow me on a one-day retreat. She was just about ten then. I agreed on one condition, which was that she would keep to herself, either studying her bible, praying or reading her books and it became a deal. I told her again that the condition would be kept even during our thirty minutes drive to the resort and she agreed. The retreat centre was located in a rural area about thirty minutes drive from the city and the centre seldom enjoyed stable electricity supply.
My daughter watched me as I put a plastic container inside the car for the fuel that would be needed to power the generator. As we were about to leave the city, she said, “excuse me dad,” I responded that we had a deal and she kept quiet. About ten minutes later as we approached the last filling station before leaving the main road, she tried to gain my attention again, I reminded her of our deal and she said, “but..,” I did not allow her to finish the sentence and she kept quiet. When we reached the last rural filling station again as the place was about to close she unsuccessfully tried to call my attention again but I did not allow her. Just before I turned off the road into the resort, I realized that I did not buy the fuel that we would need to power the generator for the night. I asked myself, how on earth did I forget to buy fuel and my daughter responded, “but that was what I was trying to remind you of dad!” I had to apologize to her and lifted the embargo on keeping mute and spent the night without electricity, my phone and IPad battery all dead. You can imagine what such retreat would look like for someone who relied heavily on iPad for virtually everything. That day I regretted not listening to a ten-year old girl!

There are a lot of times when you may do some things and have the feeling that you are right, whereas you are wrong. As human beings and especially as a child of God, there is that tendency for you to have the feeling that the counsel of your spouse or even your children does not matter; you look at yourself as being correct. The scripture of today is telling us that you only seem to be right in your own eyes, you may need the Holy Spirit to actually know if you are right. The Holy Spirit can use your spouse or your child even as young as a ten-year old to point your attention to the needful.
Don’t be too sure that your decision is the right one unless the Holy Spirit has confirmed to you that you have taken the right decision.

DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
• Will you try and remember some of the times you had thought you were right but actually wrong in the past?

PRAYER
Holy Spirit, help me to take your counsel in all situations in Jesus’ name.


QUOTABLE QUOTE
NEVER BE TOO SURE THAT YOU ARE RIGHT, LISTEN TO OTHERS! – Dr. Mike Oluniyi

MAIN TEXT: 1Pet.3:6-9
MEMORY:
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. (1Pet.3:7)

Our scripture of thought for today points us to the issue of treating each other right so that our prayers may not be hindered. It makes us to realize that because of being married, we actually are joint heirs of the grace of life. In other words, if you are thinking about heaven, you better treat each other well. When you don’t treat your spouse right, things may go wrong with your spiritual life. Another scripture that is similar to this is found in Malachi 2:

And this have ye done again,
covering the altar of the Lord with tears, with weeping, and with crying out,
insomuch that he regardeth not the offering any more,
or receiveth it with good will at your hand.
Yet ye say, Wherefore?
Because the Lord hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth,
against whom thou hast dealt treacherously:
yet is she thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant.(Mal.2:13-14)

The scripture above is simply saying that when there is contention in the home; when you have not treated each other well; when there are unforgiven offenses, your relationship with God is hampered. Because God sees you and your spouse as one, it is like a joint account opened in a bank, you can’t withdraw as individual without the signature of your partner. From the two scriptures, we may summarize as follows;
i. Treat your spouse with understanding.
ii. Honour your spouse in whichever way you can.
iii. Always remember that you are joint heirs (there are some divine inheritance that you will miss without your spouse).
iv. Answers to your prayers are at risk if you are not united.
v. Your tears do not move God if you maltreat your spouse.
The implication of this for you is that the way you treat each other in marriage has spiritual implications. One preacher said, “If you want to know if a man is going to heaven, go and ask his wife.” Initially I felt that he went too far with the statement, but on looking at our scriptures for today, there may be some elements of truth in what the preacher said. Anyone that can prevent your prayer from being answered has the capacity to prevent you from making heaven.
Pay attention to your spouse for you to enjoy in full measure the riches of heaven.

DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
• What are the strategies you have put in place to ensure that offenses don’t linger for long in this relationship?

PRAYER
Father, help me to relate with my spouse with understanding so that my prayers will not be hindered in Jesus’ name.


QUOTABLE QUOTE
TREAT YOUR SPOUSE WITH UNDERSTANDING; ANYONE THAT CAN PREVENT YOUR PRAYERS FROM BEING ANSWERED (1Pet.3:7) HAS THE POTENTIAL TO PREVENT YOU FROM MAKING HEAVEN. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi

MAIN TEXT: 2Ki.20:1-6

MEMORY:
I beseech thee, O Lord, remember now how I have walked before thee in truth and with a perfect heart, and have done that which is good in thy sight…(2.Ki.20:3)

In marriage, there are situations which you never bargained for that can make you to lose hope if you don’t have firm belief that the God you are serving can turn hopeless situations around. I know of a lady who was so promiscuous while she was in the university that the doctor told her after her last abortion that she should forget about childbearing because her womb had to be removed. Years later, she gave her life to Jesus and became a worker in the ministry where she was serving. One day, one of the most dedicated male workers in the Ministry came to seek for her hand in marriage. She made jest of him that God could not have told the young man that she would be his wife unless God hated him. When he insisted, she told him the story of her life, which made the young man to go back to prayers. He obtained a promise from God that he would have children. By the time the couple gave their testimony, they came with two children. Glory to God!
It doesn’t matter the situation in which you have found yourself in your family; wayward children, loss of job, business failure, sickness etc. Hezekiah was in a more precarious situation as he was told by the prophet of God that he should put his house in order and prepare for his death. However, he turned his face to the wall and reminded God of his dedication to Him thus;

I beseech thee, O Lord, remember now how I have walked before thee in truth and with a perfect heart, and have done that which is good in thy sight. And Hezekiah wept sore.(2Ki.20:3)

And then, God sent the same prophet back to him to turn his hopeless situation around (2Kg.20:5&6);
Turn again, and tell Hezekiah the captain of my people, Thus saith the Lord, the God of David thy father, I have heard thy prayer, I have seen thy tears: behold, I will heal thee: on the third day thou shalt go up unto the house of the Lord. And I will add unto thy days fifteen years; and I will deliver thee and this city out of the hand of the king of Assyria; and I will defend this city for mine own sake, and for my servant David’s sake.(2Ki.20:5-6)
It doesn’t matter what your family is going through right now, you can experience such a turnaround too, because nothing is impossible for Him. You must however have absolute trust in His ability to deliver His own.

DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
• Is there any situation that appears hopeless in your marriage? Bring it before God who is able to give you testimony.

PRAYER
Every situation which is beyond me, receive a divine positive turn-around in Jesus’ name.


QUOTABLE QUOTE
NO DIFFICULT SITUATION IS TOO COMPLEX FOR GOD, PRAY! – Dr. Mike Oluniyi

MAIN TEXT: Mat.19:3-6

Memory Verse.
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. (Mat.19:6)

The third party may be anybody male or female other than your spouse, appearing to be so ‘useful’ and consequently competing to get the attention which your spouse should get from you. The agenda of the third party is usually to put a wedge between you and your spouse so as to prevent you from achieving God’s purpose of bonding in marriage.
Third parties usually never come in as enemies to your relationship; their entry is subtle. Often, you may even be the one that will invite them because you feel you need them. For instance, your sister-in-law is having challenges in her marriage and instead of raising money to assist her to get an accommodation, you persuaded your spouse that since you have extra rooms in your residence, she should move in with your family because you have a feeling that she will be useful to you in carrying out some domestic tasks. However, after moving in, she becomes a problem in the relationship between you and your spouse.
She pretends to be so useful by making herself so available and exposing your weaknesses to the extent that your husband sees her as being indispensable or more useful than you. When she does anything wrong, your husband doesn’t see anything wrong with it but is rather perpetually blaming you for maltreating her.

Two Great Mistakes We Often Make About Third Parties.
(i)We overestimate the usefulness of the third party.
However useful a third party is, he or she can never be more useful than your spouse. For instance, however useful your secretary is, never believe that she is more capable than your spouse. If you make the mistake of believing so, you are likely to be getting more and more closer to her that she may at a stage be the one that will be suggesting to you the decisions to take about matters which should have been the exclusive preserve of your spouse. Also however available a man may appear to be to you, you must never believe that he is more useful than your husband. Maybe when there is any issue at home, he is your preferred counsellor, you must never believe that he is better than your husband. If you do, you may not know when every move of your husband will become a subject of subtle scrutiny by him, thereby widening the gap between you and your husband.

(ii)We underestimate the potential harm that the third party may cause in our marital relationship. Any third party has the potential of creating a wedge between you and your spouse which only gets wider with the passage of time.

Due to our erroneous disposition towards third parties, we are usually the one that bring them into our homes or relationship, forgetting that the third party is a deadly alternative to our spouse.

DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
• Looking at our home critically, have we allowed any third party either internally in the home or externally.

PRAYER
Father, help me to avoid third parties that will bring division between me and my spouse in the mighty name of Jesus Christ.


QUOTABLE QUOTE
TWO PROBLEMS ABOUT THIRD PARTIES IN MARRIAGE; YOU ARE EITHER EXAGGERATING THEIR USEFULNESS OR UNDERESTIMATING THE HARM THAT THEY MAY CAUSE IN YOUR HOME. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi

MAIN TEXT: Dan.1:8-14

MEMORY:
But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with the portion of the king’s meat, nor with the wine which he drank:…(Dan.1:8)

In every family and for every member of the family, the potential source of defilement differs. That of Daniel and his friends was food and drinks. Today, however, the sources of defilement are much more diverse than in the days of Daniel. One major problem with sources of defilement is that they are often subtle. Consequently, it may not be clearly apparent to you that it can pollute except you are discerning; but you must be able to identify your own if you and your family must finish strong.

What is your own and your spouse’s potential source of defilement? It may be completely different from my own. For many, it is the friends they keep, for others it is the places they visit, while for many it is evil thoughts.
One major source of distraction and defilement today is the internet. Many of us have our Bibles on our tablets or android phones. There is nothing wrong with that but often, before you reach your Bible, you would have met Facebook, Twitter and Instagram etc. You will also receive diverse mails, the good, the bad and the ugly continuously rolling in. As you meet them, do you have the personal discipline to ignore them and go on to your Bible? If not, they become time wasters and potential sources of defilement for you. Many became pornography addicts through the internet, it has also become easy to become cult members through the same source. Consequently, though there is nothing wrong with using the Bible on your android phone or your iPad, if you are finding it difficult to discipline yourself, it may be better to carry on using your physical Bible so that you will not become defiled in the process of studying it online. Also, do you as a parent keep an eye on the programs that your children watch on digital television in your home? A lot of wrong and corrupt information with potential towards immorality, violence and other vices are passed on to young ones through them. In a lot of situations, you may not be with the children while in school as they are faced with a lot of influences which may defile them. However, strong foundation while they are at home, keen interest in what goes on with them at school as well as continuous prayers for them while they are absent from home will go a long way to help them in taking the right decisions when they are not at home.
Identify the potential sources of defilement in your family and discipline yourself to avoid them.

DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
• In what ways can we help each other in this family to avoid being defiled?

PRAYER
I receive the discerning spirit to identify every source of defilement in my family and run away from it in Jesus’ name.


QUOTABLE QUOTE
IT IS HIGH LEVEL OF WISDOM TO RUN AWAY FROM INIQUITY; GOD HATES SIN! – Dr. Mike Oluniyi