Text: 1Peter 3:1-9
MEMORY:1 Peter 3:7
Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. (1Pet.3:7)

Today, we shall start looking at different types of intimacy which may be experienced in marriage. The first and probably the most important to you as a child of God is spiritual intimacy. Spiritual intimacy in marriage may be referred to as closeness between husband and wife in matters of faith. It is about being in the word together, praying for each other and worshipping together. When a couple believes that the word of God is the nourishment to their souls(Matt.4:4; Deut.8:3), and are on the same spiritual diet, their growth pattern will be in the same direction and bring about unity of purpose in other areas of life. Consequently, spiritual intimacy is the most foundational intimacy which goes a long way to determine the level of the other forms of intimacy. Once spiritual intimacy is high, it may be easy to work on the other types of intimacy.
Spiritual intimacy does not just happen in a marriage, it has to be consistently worked upon.
At the core of spiritual intimacy is the genuineness of the conversion of the partners in the union. It may be sometimes easy to pretend as if one is converted when actually you are just paying lip service to walking with God. When the partners are genuinely in the faith and are being fed with the same spiritual diet, then they are on the same page spiritually. It is very important for you to note that even as you are growing in the faith, you must be genuinely interested in, and encourage the spiritual growth of your spouse because whatever level you reach in the faith, a spouse that did not grow may bring you down from it.
If as a family you pray together, the tendency is high that when challenges of life come, you will demonstrate your reliance on your God that you so much believe in. When as a couple you worship that same God and you are committed to Him, when challenges come, you are likely to refer to what He will want you to do in the situation at hand. Also, when the level of spiritual intimacy is high, you and your spouse are very likely to run away from anything that may tamper with the standards of God for marriage. Consequently, if you are desirous of having intimacy in your marriage, it may be wise to ensure that your level of spiritual intimacy grows as it has the potential to affect others positively.

DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
• What steps can we take towards being more spiritually intimate?

PRAYER
Father, help us in our home that your word shall be our guide in all areas of life in Jesus’ name.


QUOTABLE QUOTE
ONCE THERE IS SPIRITUAL INTIMACY BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE, EVERY OTHER FORM OF INTIMACY WILL EASILY OPERATE. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi

Text: Gen.2:18-25.
MEMORY:
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.(Gen.2:24)

Intimacy in marriage relationship is so important to God that He requires that you must DEPART from home and CLEAVE to your spouse. It must have been so because God did not want anything or anybody to act as obstacle between husband and wife. Marriage is such a long journey that if your spouse is not an intimate friend, you will find the journey both boring and a foretaste of hell.
Today, we shall be looking at those factors that encourage intimacy in the home. The Bible has given us a summary of what it takes to have intimacy at home; They are mutual love and submission.
Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; The matter of love has to be mutually subscribed to by both husband and wife as stated in Mark 12:30&31.
Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. (Eph.5:22)
The Bible enjoin husbands to love their husband but you will discover that if you love your wife, there are situations in which you will have to submit even as husband. That is why it has to be mutual submission as stated in Ephesians 5:21;
Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.
In any marriage where there is mutual love and submission, there is bound to be a closeness that will make the marital union an intimate one. Some of the features of such home are:
i. Acceptance despite imperfections.
ii. The ability to remember the beginning of the relationship.
iii. The ability to speak the love language your spouse understands.
iv. The ability to forgive offenses.
v. The ability to trust and rebuild trust even when it has been eroded.
vi. Openness to each other.
vii. Realization that the two of you actually are one as far as God is concerned.
Intimacy does not happen in a marriage, it is like an ongoing journey that has to be worked upon especially as your marriage advances in age. In other words, if you want intimacy in your union, you must work at it.
Are you ready to work on it?

DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
• Frankly speaking, in which area do you think I need to work on, to make this relationship more intimate?

PRAYER
My father and God, I desire the highest level of intimacy between me and my spouse. I receive the grace to do my own part to make it happen in my home in Jesus’ name.


QUOTABLE QUOTE
THE INTENTION OF GOD IS THAT YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE SHOULD BE VERY CLOSE, ANY OBSTACLE IN BETWEEN YOU IS OUTSIDE GOD. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi

Text. Ps.144:11- 15

MEMORY:
That our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth; that our daughters may be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace: (Ps.144:12)

Well nurtured plants have great prospects for a fruitful life while palace pillars, apart from the weight they carry, also have aesthetic values which make the palace a pleasant place to be. When a plant is well nurtured, it means that deliberate efforts were made to provide water for it so as to make it to have the required nutrients. Pillars on the other hand too require expert and dedicated workers who are conscious of the fact that they are working on a palace edifice to make it come out as befitting of a palace.
Describing our sons and daughters as above points to the fact that we have responsibilities as parents to make our sons and daughters to become great in the hands of God. It is not a duty that you have to leave for others to do for you. As much as they may try, conventional school as well as Sunday school teachers are incapable of providing fully the attention which will make your sons and daughters to become like well nurtured plants and palace pillars for God.

The Pastor as well as teachers may teach your children the word of God but they are limited in demonstrating the practical of what they teach. If for instance your spouse offend you and you refuse to forgive and you keep making your children to realize that he or she does not deserve forgiveness, and you are saying the Lord’s prayer; “…forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those that trespass against us,” you are just effectively giving room for hypocrisy in the way they may treat their relationship with God. It is also important for you to have time for them as they are growing up. If you are so busy that you don’t have time to visit your children in the hostel where you have put them because of being busy in the first place, don’t forget that you are busy tending other families while you leave your own unattended to. Any plant that will come out well will demand time from the planter to water it consistently for it to grow and become beautiful. Any sculptured pillar that will adorn a palace also requires valuable time of the artist.

For them to reach their potentials in God, you have to teach and demonstrate what you teach. This of course demands sacrifices which though not easy have to be made. Are you making and are you ready to continue to make such sacrifices for the sake of your children? It is only then that they can become like well nurtured plants and well structured pillars befitting the kingdom of God.

DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
• Are we investing time and resources adequately into the future of our children?

PRAYER
I receive the grace for empowerment to raise children that will become great in the hands of God in Jesus’ name.


QUOTABLE QUOTE
THE FOUNDATION WHICH YOU GIVE YOUR CHILDREN IN THEIR UPBRINGING WILL DETERMINE THEIR FUTURE MANIFESTATIONS. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi

MAIN TEXT: Ps.46:1-3.
MEMORY:
God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. (Ps.46:1)

The anchor mindset is that disposition towards making your children to know that when the challenges of life come, they have a God who as an anchor can hold their ship steady in the turbulent sea of life. In other words, life is not always a continuous pleasurable experience, there are periods in which things don’t work out in the expected way. At such times of tribulations in life, many have committed suicide, other have denied their faith just as others abandoned their families. Such a mindset will make you not just to teach but also to demonstrate to them that:


God is ever faithful.
This mindset makes you to inform your children that the only friend who will ever remain faithful in every situation of life is Jesus. Every other friend will desert you at different junctures in life, but He will remain with you until the very end on earth and even in eternity.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned,
Nor shall the flame scorch you.(Is.43:2)


It is of the Lord’s mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.
They are new every morning: great is thy faithfulness. (Lam.3:22&23)

Never miss any opportunity through your own personal experiences and that of those around you to teach your children about the faithfulness of God because it will help them to hold on to God as their anchor in the tempest of life.


God can turn hopeless situations around. (2Kg.20:1-6)
Let your children know that there is no situation so hopeless that God cannot turn around if you don’t lose hope as may be seen from the story of king Hezekiah in 2Kg.20:1-6.

God Is Able To Protect His Own. (2Kg.6:15-17)
In the case above, the servant of Elisha was overwhelmed by the presence of enemy soldiers who apparently were there to capture Elijah. However, the servant of the man of God must have learnt one of the greatest lessons of his life when his spiritual eyes were opened and he discovered that the heavenly soldiers with chariots of fire surrounding them were more that the enemy soldiers.
The story will give you an opportunity to let them know that even when you are surrounded by a thick cloud of adversity and it appears as if you won’t be able to successfully get out of the situation, your God is still available to protect you.

God Is Our Final Destination.
This mindset will also make you to teach your children that however long or short we stay here on earth, heaven is our home. (2Cor.4:18) Knowing that God is your final destination goes a long way in determining the depth of your relationship with Him who is your anchor in the turbulent sea of life.

DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
• In what more ways can we teach and demonstrate to our children the anchor mindset in our family?

PRAYER
Father, may we take you more as our anchor and be able to teach and demonstrate it to our children in Jesus’ name.

QUOTABLE QUOTE
TEACH YOUR CHILDREN THAT IN THE TEMPEST OF LIFE, GOD IS THE ONLY STEADFAST ANCHOR THAT CAN STEADILY HOLD THE SHIP OF THEIR LIFE. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi

MAIN TEXT: Phil.4:4-7.
MEMORY:
Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God.(Phil.4:6)

This mindset makes you to see yourself, whether male or female, as having been assigned to raise up your children without any specific role. There is no specificity of roles in child-raising assignment as unforeseen circumstances may change your traditional role in the family. If it happens that way in your family and you are now the breadwinner of the home, always remember the following:

It Is Nothing Special.
This mindset will make you to believe that you are not doing anything special if you find yourself in the position of carrying out most or even all the financial responsibilities in the home. In fact, you should thank God that you have the privilege of doing so. The scripture for today enjoins you to do everything with a heart full of prayer and thanksgiving in any situation you may find yourself.

Your New Status Change Must Not Change You.
You won’t become ungovernable as a wife for instance if fortune smiles on you in your business and you become the breadwinner of your family. If as a husband, you find yourself in a position which is higher than what you were before, you won’t throw away your wife that she no longer befits you.

You Won’t Be Complaining About Your Spouse.
You won’t be complaining about your spouse, especially in the presence of your children. When as a man, you are fond of complaining about your wife just because you are the breadwinner of the family, it may have a negative effect on the relationship between you and your children.

Don’t Let The Children Know That Roles Have Changed.
If your spouse has been carrying out some responsibilities before but for some understandable reasons, such as job loss or other unexpected challenges, he is unable to continue with it, don’t demonstrate it to your children that you are now the one carrying out the assignment. Just take it on as if it is your natural role; indeed it is!


You Won’t Become Ungovernable At Home.
There are wives that their husbands can’t control just because providence made them to become the breadwinner of the home. Your new status should not make you to be beyond correction. You should always remember that no man can receive anything except it is given to him from above.
…A man can receive nothing, except it be given him from heaven.
(Jn.3:27)
Humility is the hallmark of a true believer in whatever position he or she may be.


You Won’t Indulge Your Children.
When God has blessed you, you won’t have the feeling that whatever you say is the best idea. When your spouse wants to discipline your children, you won’t insist that he could not do so because if they are ill, you are the one that will pay hospital bills. Children raised under such environment will have a faulty upbringing that will create problems for them in the future.

DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
• Go through the list of responsibilities in your home, is there any one of them that you will never do if circumstances push it to you?

PRAYER
Father, may I joyfully and gratefully take on any responsibility in the home whenever circumstances make it imperative for me to do so in Jesus’ name.




QUOTABLE QUOTE
IF AS A MAN, IT IS WHEN GOD HAS BLESSED YOU MATERIALLY THAT YOU DISCOVER THAT YOUR WIFE IS NO LONGER BEFITTING YOUR STATUS OR AS A WOMAN YOU ARE NO LONGER ABLE TO SUBMIT TO YOUR HUSBAND; SHOULD WE BLAME GOD FOR BLESSING YOUR LIFE? – Dr. Mike Oluniyi