Main text: Proverbs 5:15-19
Memory: Proverbs 5:15
Drink waters out of thine own cistern,
and running waters out of thine own well.
Emotional affair is a non-sexual extramarital affair. It does not appear harmful at the beginning but has been known to wreck a lot of havoc on homes. It starts casually, usually without the intention to go deep. As a pastor for instance, you have a secretary that is so efficient in the assignments given to her, a beautiful choir leader that sings so melodiously, or perhaps a married woman that is so fervent for God and leads the intercessory group in such an inspiring way. Definitely, all the areas the above people hold are vital parts of a functional ministry, so, nobody will blame you for being interested in those departments. Actually, you mean no harm neither are you interested in starting a relationship, but you just appreciate the way the person is handling the department. Sometimes too, it may not really be in the church. It may be a neighbor that you just admire the way she greets, a divorcee or widower who appears so vulnerable and appears to need your help. However, you need to watch out, when the following start happening:
– You start sharing personal thoughts or stories about your family and ministry with him or her.
– You feel a greater emotional intimacy with him or her than your spouse.
– You feel so concerned when it appears as if his or her spouse has offended him or her.
– You start comparing him or her to your spouse by listing where your wife don’t measure up.
– You long for, and look forward to your next contact or conversation.
– You start changing your normal routine or duties to spend more time with him or her.
– You feel the need to keep conversation with him or her secret from your spouse.
– You fantasize about spending time with, getting to know or sharing life with her.
– You fantasize about how great your business or ministry would be with him or her rather than with your spouse.
– You spend significant time alone with him or her.
When you notice one or more of the above, you have unknowingly slipped into emotional affairs.
Following are some of the causes of emotional affairs:
– Perceived deficiency in your marriage
– Lack of communication with your spouse
– Unresolved conflicts at home
– Desire for adventure
Emotional affairs is not actually adultery, since you have not started having sexual intercourse with the person. The truth however is that emotional affairs often go beyond boundaries as there is a very thin line between it and full blown adulterous relationship, avoid it!
Discussion Points With Your Spouse
• Is there any individual which your husband or wife relates with that you feel may lead to emotional affairs?
May I be wise enough to know when a casual relationship is slipping into emotional affair and possess the personal discipline required to stop it in Jesus’ name.
TAKE A CAREFUL LOOK AT YOUR WIFE AND YOU WILL DISCOVER THAT THERE IS NOTHING IN THAT OTHER WOMAN THAT HAS NOT BEEN PACKAGED INTO HER. THEREFORE, GO BACK HOME! – Dr. Mike Oluniyi