And it came to pass, when he had been there a long time, that Abimelech king of the Philistines looked out at a window, and saw, and, behold, Isaac was sporting with Rebekah his wife.(Gen,26:8)
The second type of intimacy is recreational intimacy. Recreational intimacy is the bond that is created and strengthened by doing activities together. For instance, you and your spouse may sit down to watch a program on the television together, you may both take a walk, play a game or engage in other activities together. These activities have the potential of creating pleasing experiences that fuel connection between you and your spouse.
This sort of intimacy tends to be at its highest early in the relationship when both partners are willing to do and try things outside of their comfort zone just to have the opportunity to be in each other’s presence. As we advance in marriage and life gets more complicated with other commitments such the care for the children, family and societal engagements, opportunities for recreational intimacy dwindle between couples. However, the intention of God for marriage is that we continue to enjoy the interaction with each other even in spite of those essential activities.
Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun. (Eccl.9:9)
For our level of recreational intimacy to improve, we need to remember the following:
1. The journey of marriage is such a long one that you can’t enjoy it by doing only routine essential activities. We need the ability to hold hands, laugh and play together if we are to endure the times of disappointments and challenges together.
2. A time will come when all those activities that are preventing intimacy between you and your spouse will fade away from your life. You will be left with your spouse but the intimacy you did not develop now will be difficult to enjoy then. Such situation leads to boredom and loneliness in old age. Don’t be surprised that even your most loved child will get married some day, only for you to be meeting once in a while.
3. Though you may appear to be so busy, if you really desire recreational intimacy with your spouse, you can sacrifice some other activities, without creating any problem, to be with your spouse.
DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
• What are the obstacles that are preventing you from spending more time together with your spouse?
• What steps can you take towards reducing the way they steal from the time you are supposed to spend with each other?
I remove or reduce the effect of any activity that is preventing me from spending quality time with my spouse in Jesus’ name.
IF YOU FAIL TO CULTIVATE FRIENDSHIP WITH YOUR SPOUSE, YOU ARE ONLY PREPARING FOR A LONELY OLD AGE, BECAUSE BY THEN IT WILL BE TOO LATE TO CULTIVATE THAT FRIENDSHIP. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi