Marital Conflicts Can Degenerate (2): Couples Companion Day 32
As noted yesterday, marital conflicts can degenerate from bedroom level to public level when it will become apparent to most people that something has gone wrong. It may also grow from simple one to one that is so complex, depending on how the conflict is managed. Today, we shall continue with the negative management techniques that make marital conflicts to degenerate.
Uncontrolled anger.
One man caught his wife and a man in his home committing adultery but as he was in a state of confusion, the two of them escaped. In a rage of anger, he took a cutlass and murdered the two sons that the woman had in a previous marriage. On realizing what he had done, he took a container of petrol, wet and set himself ablaze and died in the process.
In another situation, a woman whose husband was about marrying another woman watched the husband enter his room from the bathroom, locked the door, poured fuel into and set the room ablaze. The husband did not survive it.
In the two situations above, despite the seriousness of the matter, uncontrolled anger only complicated matters. In the first instance, is it worth it to take lives because of any matter at all? He lost his life and his eternity. In the second case, the woman ended up behind the bars and will probably be sentenced to life imprisonment. Now, is it really worth it?
Someone defined anger as temporary madness and I agree completely with that definition. When you are angry and you act based on that anger, there may be no difference between what you will do and what a mad man will do. Imagine that you are taking your bath and a mad man took your clothes while washing your face. You opened your eyes only to see the mad man going away with your clothes, what will you do? An option will be for you to run after the mad man and recover your clothes but can you imagine what people will say if they see a naked man or woman running after a mad man. Definitely they won’t see any difference between the naked soapy person and the real mad man.
One thing that happens when you are angry is that you will be thinking that if you do not do something immediately, people will think you are a fool. Try to imagine what would have happened if in the two cases above they paused for some time and probably prayed before taking a decision.
Uncontrolled anger will never resolve a conflict but rather make it to grow worse.
Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: (Eph.4:26)
QUOTABLE QUOTE
UNCONTROLLED ANGER CAN DESTROY IN FIVE MINUTES WHAT YOU USED FIVE DECADES TO BUILD. – Dr Mike Oluniyi p
