MAIN TEXT: Heb.12:5-8.
For whom the Lord loves He chastens,
And scourges every son whom He receives.(Heb.12:6)
This mindset requires you to love your children; that appears to be quite obvious but the love must be genuine love. A lot of ways in which we try to demonstrate love to our children aren’t really love. For instance, many of us whose some of our children occupy a special position in our family tend to overindulge such children to demonstrate our love for them, without knowing that we are actually destroying their future.
Love, But It Should Not Prevent You From Taking Hard Decisions.
Hard decisions are good decisions that are not popular due to the sacrifice involved but you are ready to take it even if other members of the family don’t understand now. Sometimes, even your spouse may not really understand initially why you are taking such hard decisions but you know it is in the best interest of the family.
Love, But Don’t Spare The Rod Of Correction.(Heb.12:11)
Many parents, especially for those children that occupy special position in their lives, find it difficult to discipline or correct them when thy err. If you don’t discipline a child because you don’t want him to cry, you will cry with him later when the effect of your laxity is reflected.
Love, But Let Them Value Labour.(Gen.2:2;Pro.22:29)
Right from the time that your child is young, give him work to do at home and make him to value it. When you make a child, whether male or female, to grow up totally dependent on the maid who cooks, washes and carry out every instruction from him, you are raising up an adult who may become a problem for everyone in relationship with him in the future. (2Thess.3:6-12)
Love, But Let Them Learn.
Often, parents apparently out of love for their children indulge them so much that it affects their learning opportunities.
Love, But Don’t Allow Them To Take advantage Of Others.
Teach your children to avoid taking advantage of others. The vulnerability of others should not be exploited for a selfish advantage by your child.
Love, But Let Them Periodically Experience Inconveniences.
Don’t allow your child to always have his way as it can make him to become a problem for people that he will be relating with in the future. He should know that “Yes” is not always the answer to every request. He must learn that “No” as well as “Wait” are also answers that should be acceptable to him as he relates with people.
Love, But Allow Him To Grow up.
There are men and women that though they are physically matured, are unfortunately emotionally toddlers. It is a problem that comes up when you love a child so much that you don’t allow him to experience the process of growth which involves taking decisions and going through the consequences of those decisions whether good or bad.
It is not every action which you take about your children that is actually of genuine love. As parents, you must be careful to ensure that you don’t take steps that will jeopardize the future of your child, all in the name of love.
DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
• Frankly speaking, in view of the above, in what ways can we demonstrate more of the genuine love mindset in the training of our children?
Father, help me not to destroy the future of my children while thinking that I am showing them love in Jesus’ name.
IF YOU “LOVE” YOUR CHILDREN SO MUCH THAT YOU DON’T WANT THEM TO CRY NOW, YOU WILL STILL CRY AGAIN WITH THEM WHEN THE EFFECT OF YOUR FAULTY PARENTING BECOMES EVIDENT IN THEIR LIVES. -Dr. Mike Oluniyi