MAIN TEXT: Mat.19:3-6

Memory Verse.
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. (Mat.19:6)

The third party may be anybody male or female other than your spouse, appearing to be so ‘useful’ and consequently competing to get the attention which your spouse should get from you. The agenda of the third party is usually to put a wedge between you and your spouse so as to prevent you from achieving God’s purpose of bonding in marriage.
Third parties usually never come in as enemies to your relationship; their entry is subtle. Often, you may even be the one that will invite them because you feel you need them. For instance, your sister-in-law is having challenges in her marriage and instead of raising money to assist her to get an accommodation, you persuaded your spouse that since you have extra rooms in your residence, she should move in with your family because you have a feeling that she will be useful to you in carrying out some domestic tasks. However, after moving in, she becomes a problem in the relationship between you and your spouse.
She pretends to be so useful by making herself so available and exposing your weaknesses to the extent that your husband sees her as being indispensable or more useful than you. When she does anything wrong, your husband doesn’t see anything wrong with it but is rather perpetually blaming you for maltreating her.

Two Great Mistakes We Often Make About Third Parties.
(i)We overestimate the usefulness of the third party.
However useful a third party is, he or she can never be more useful than your spouse. For instance, however useful your secretary is, never believe that she is more capable than your spouse. If you make the mistake of believing so, you are likely to be getting more and more closer to her that she may at a stage be the one that will be suggesting to you the decisions to take about matters which should have been the exclusive preserve of your spouse. Also however available a man may appear to be to you, you must never believe that he is more useful than your husband. Maybe when there is any issue at home, he is your preferred counsellor, you must never believe that he is better than your husband. If you do, you may not know when every move of your husband will become a subject of subtle scrutiny by him, thereby widening the gap between you and your husband.

(ii)We underestimate the potential harm that the third party may cause in our marital relationship. Any third party has the potential of creating a wedge between you and your spouse which only gets wider with the passage of time.

Due to our erroneous disposition towards third parties, we are usually the one that bring them into our homes or relationship, forgetting that the third party is a deadly alternative to our spouse.

DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
• Looking at our home critically, have we allowed any third party either internally in the home or externally.

PRAYER
Father, help me to avoid third parties that will bring division between me and my spouse in the mighty name of Jesus Christ.


QUOTABLE QUOTE
TWO PROBLEMS ABOUT THIRD PARTIES IN MARRIAGE; YOU ARE EITHER EXAGGERATING THEIR USEFULNESS OR UNDERESTIMATING THE HARM THAT THEY MAY CAUSE IN YOUR HOME. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi

MAIN TEXT: Dan.1:8-14

MEMORY:
But Daniel purposed in his heart that he would not defile himself with the portion of the king’s meat, nor with the wine which he drank:…(Dan.1:8)

In every family and for every member of the family, the potential source of defilement differs. That of Daniel and his friends was food and drinks. Today, however, the sources of defilement are much more diverse than in the days of Daniel. One major problem with sources of defilement is that they are often subtle. Consequently, it may not be clearly apparent to you that it can pollute except you are discerning; but you must be able to identify your own if you and your family must finish strong.

What is your own and your spouse’s potential source of defilement? It may be completely different from my own. For many, it is the friends they keep, for others it is the places they visit, while for many it is evil thoughts.
One major source of distraction and defilement today is the internet. Many of us have our Bibles on our tablets or android phones. There is nothing wrong with that but often, before you reach your Bible, you would have met Facebook, Twitter and Instagram etc. You will also receive diverse mails, the good, the bad and the ugly continuously rolling in. As you meet them, do you have the personal discipline to ignore them and go on to your Bible? If not, they become time wasters and potential sources of defilement for you. Many became pornography addicts through the internet, it has also become easy to become cult members through the same source. Consequently, though there is nothing wrong with using the Bible on your android phone or your iPad, if you are finding it difficult to discipline yourself, it may be better to carry on using your physical Bible so that you will not become defiled in the process of studying it online. Also, do you as a parent keep an eye on the programs that your children watch on digital television in your home? A lot of wrong and corrupt information with potential towards immorality, violence and other vices are passed on to young ones through them. In a lot of situations, you may not be with the children while in school as they are faced with a lot of influences which may defile them. However, strong foundation while they are at home, keen interest in what goes on with them at school as well as continuous prayers for them while they are absent from home will go a long way to help them in taking the right decisions when they are not at home.
Identify the potential sources of defilement in your family and discipline yourself to avoid them.

DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
• In what ways can we help each other in this family to avoid being defiled?

PRAYER
I receive the discerning spirit to identify every source of defilement in my family and run away from it in Jesus’ name.


QUOTABLE QUOTE
IT IS HIGH LEVEL OF WISDOM TO RUN AWAY FROM INIQUITY; GOD HATES SIN! – Dr. Mike Oluniyi

Text. Jn.3:27-30

MEMORY:
John answered and said, A man can receive nothing, except it be given him from heaven.(Jn.3:27)

There are many couples that stick together during difficult times, but when God blessed them, problems were created by the partners due to poor management of success, and the family that was once tightly knitted together collapsed. You may in fact not really be sure of the stand of a man in God and his marital vows until success comes.
When Solomon became the king in Israel, he was so devoted to God that God asked him to request for whatever he would want God to do for him. His response is found in 1Ki.3:9;

Give therefore thy servant an understanding heart to judge thy people, that I may discern between good and bad: for who is able to judge this thy so great a people?

The response of Solomon so much pleased the LORD that He gave Solomon not only wisdom but riches and fame as well. Solomon became so great that his wisdom and riches could not be compared with that of any king before him.
By the time Solomon became really blessed, he probably forgot that it was because he pleased God with his life when he became king that he was mightily blessed.
And he had seven hundred wives, princesses, and three hundred concubines: and his wives turned away his heart. (1Kg.11:3)
It is almost impossible to believe that the same Solomon who loved God so much that he was given a blank cheque of blessing could now be said to allow women and other pleasures of life to turn his heart from God whom he evidently loved so much at the beginning of his reign. That is what success can do for a life that is not fully made up to remain faithful to God when success comes.
For many men, it is when God has blessed them that they realize that their wives are no longer befitting of their new status. For many women also, it is then that they become too busy to care for their husbands. We often find it more difficult to manage success than to manage lack. Pride often comes into our lives and makes us to become ungovernable.

The scripture today reminds us that whatever we are able to achieve is by divine enablement. If you look around you, you are likely to discover those that are better than you in various aspects of life struggling for one thing or the other which they have not been able to attain. It is only when you realize that it is neither by power nor by might that you will be able to prevent yourself from messing up when success comes.

DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
• What are the precautionary measures we can take to prevent us from putting our home into problems when success comes.
PRAYER
My father and God, may success never take me away from you in Jesus’ name.


QUOTABLE QUOTE
WILL YOU STILL REMAIN FAITHFUL TO GOD AND YOUR MARITAL VOWS WHEN GOD HAS ANSWERED YOUR PRAYERS FOR GREATNESS? – Dr. Mike Oluniyi

MAIN TEXT: 1Cor.9:24-27.
MEMORY:
But I discipline my body and bring it into subjection, lest, when I have preached to others, I myself should become disqualified. (1Cor.9:27)

A careful thought about the implications of falling for strange men/ women should make one to be determined never to fall into such temptation. The implications are grave, as there are those who fell into it and they never recovered from it throughout their lifetime. Any child of God who desires to finish strong must have a strong resolve to flee immorality. While there are some who went into it to retaliate after their spouse did it, please note that many who fell into it did not actually plan to do. Many got themselves involved as a result of carelessness while there are many others who did it out of ignorance. As individuals, the temptations we are faced with differ one from another. But however complex your own situation is, there are some mindsets and steps which may help us when we are faced with temptations from the opposite sex:
Desire to please God.
When your desire is focused on pleasing God, you are not likely to go into anything that is related to disobedience.
Don’t Hide From Your Spouse.
Just in case you fall or you are even tempted, you should open up to your spouse so that you can fight the war together. Often, in the process of hiding from your spouse, you may find yourself in deeper pit. Such battles are better fought in agreement with your spouse.
Be a prayerful person.
Prayer is key to success in your walk with God. Pray always that the LORD will keep you to the end.
Have the mindset that you already have the best in your spouse.
When you have such mindset, you will value your wife and never be interested in doing anything that will disappoint her.
Count the cost.
If you think about the illusory benefits and compare it with the huge implications of falling into adultery, you may be able to realize that it will be too costly for you to venture into.
Never believe that you are infallible, you are flesh and blood.
When you believe that you are infallible, there will be the tendency for you to grow careless.
Be self-disciplined.(1Cor.9:27)
Finally, from personal experience, one decision that has helped my life greatly in this area was to make a covenant with God. I made a covenant with God that if I ever get myself involved with a woman outside my matrimonial home, that the LORD should deal with me. The covenant has helped me greatly in dicey situations to the glory of God. However, please be cautioned that if you want to make a covenant with God about such matters, you must have finally resolved never to get involved since covenant breaking on its own may deny you of heaven.

DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
• How could keeping secrets from each other make someone to go deeper and deeper into the hands of strange women/ men.

PRAYER
I will always discipline myself to tow the line of virtue in Jesus’ name.


QUOTABLE QUOTE
DON’T BE TOO SURE THAT YOU CAN’T FALL INTO TEMPTATION; RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! – Dr. Mike Oluniyi

MAIN TEXT: Pro.23:26-28
MEMORY:
For a whore is a deep ditch; and a strange woman is a narrow pit. She also lieth in wait as for a prey, and increaseth the transgressors among men.(Pro.23:27-28)

A strange woman or man is any member of the opposite sex apart from your spouse that tempts you into immorality. The world is full of them today in every walk of life. One might have wished that the problem of temptation would be only outside the church but the major concern is that the problem has not spared the church. Often, even as a pastor, you may start wondering if there is any vocation where people are tempted more than in ministry. You will be doing yourself and home a lot of good if you always remember that when you fall for temptation of immorality, several consequences may follow:

You will lose the trust of your spouse.
When you lose the trust of your spouse, it affects so many areas of your family life. A spouse that has lost trust in you may find it difficult to plan together with you for the progress of your family.

It may destroy your home.
When you go into immorality, it means you have an alternative to your spouse. Any alternative to your spouse could be deadly to the survival of your home as it makes you not to be committed to keeping your home as there is alternative attraction.

It affects your relationship with God.
Once you get involved in immorality, it affects your genuine spiritual growth. You may still be seen going up and down with one activity or the other but the truth is that deep down in you, it will be evident that you have lost something vital. As clearly stated in Exodus 20:14, it is a clear contravention of God’s commandment with grave implications.

It can cut short your relevance in kingdom matters.
Samson’s vision and life was cut short as a result of immorality (Judges 16:21) There are so many leaders in contemporary history that were also cut short.

It Makes You To Become A Resource Waster.
There is no how you go into immorality that you will not become a resource waster. Resources that you could have spent on real achievements would be wasted on attempts to satisfy a seductress who could never be satisfied while your family suffers. Even if you are in the rare case of strange men and women who spend on you, you will still be a resource waster because whatever he or she gives you will be a snare on other resources that you genuinely have.

The implications of falling for the temptation of strange men/ women are grave. As stated in the Bible verse above, it is like falling into a narrow and deep pitch; getting out is difficult and there are many that did not get out of the pitch throughout their lifetime.
May that not be your portion in Jesus’ name.

DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
• What are some other reasons why one must not fall into the pit of immorality?


PRAYER
My father and my God, I reject falling into the pit of immorality in Jesus’ name.


QUOTABLE QUOTE
AVOID FALLING INTO THE PIT OF IMMORALITY, YOU MAY NEVER GET OUT OF IT – Dr. Mike Oluniyi