Being a ministration by Dr. Mike Oluniyi during the Networki

ng Ministers Conference on Wednesday 21st April 2021.

Look not upon me, because I am black,
because the sun hath looked upon me:
my mother’s children were angry with me;
they made me the keeper of the vineyards;
but mine own vineyard have I not kept.(SS.1:6)

Introduction.
Often in the quest for the growth of the ministry, we abandon our family to our detriment. The demands of the ministry in terms of time, your talent and resources are so great that many pastors fail to pay adequate attention to their family in the process of doing ministry.
In the scripture above, the writer was lamenting that he kept the general vineyard, but despite all efforts, people still complained about the vineyard. However in keeping the vineyards that they were complaining about, he abandoned his own vineyard without being kept.
It is the same story in the life of many ministers of God about their families. As a passionate minister of God who loves the work of God, you will discover that the work never ends. It is either you are raising money to buy land for the church, to build, to buy musical equipments, debt of the last convention or preparing for the next one etc. You may also either be raising money to print tracts, send people on mission, sponsoring the children of some missionaries etc. It may also be that a member is sick, need school fees for the child who had been sent away from school, some youth gained admission to higher institution or a member is in one problem or the other. In many growing ministries, when pastor visits, instead of giving gifts to the pastor, that is when they will inform the pastor that the landlord has given them the quit notice.
There is consequently no end to the demands of ministry. However, you need to take note of the following concerning your spouse and children;

YOUR SPOUSE.
* YOUR MARITAL RELATIONSHIP IS THE MOST IMPORTANT AFTER THAT OF GOD.
* WHEN THERE IS PROBLEM IN YOUR MARITAL RELATIONSHIP, THE ECHO IS LOUDER THAN ANY OTHER PROBLEM IN YOUR LIFE.
* THE JOURNEY OF MARRIAGE WILL BE YOUR LONGEST JOURNEY WITH ANY INDIVIDUAL IN YOUR LIFETIME.
* ONE OF THE GREATEST HARM YOU MAY DO YOUR LIFE AND MINISTRY IS TO LOSE THE TRUST OF YOUR SPOUSE.
* IN THE HAND OF THE HOLY SPIRIT, YOUR SPOUSE IS THE GREATEST HELP FOR YOUR LIFE AND MINISTRY; ALSO IN THE HAND OF THE DEVIL, SHE MAY BE BECOME THE MOST POTENT INSTRUMENT THAT MAY BE USED TO DESTROY YOUR MINISTRY.
* THE MOST POTENT DESTROYER OF YOUR MARRIAGE IS ALTERNATIVE ATTRACTION.
* THERE IS NOTHING YOUR SPOUSE HAS DONE, WHICH SOMEONE ELSE’S SPOUSE HAS NOT DONE WORSE; THEREFORE, FORGIVE YOUR SPOUSE.
* IF YOU DISCOVER THAT YOUR SPOSE IS NO LONGER ATTRACTIVE TO YOU, YOU MAY NEED TO REALLY WATCH AND PRAY!

YOUR CHILDREN
You must be determined to give your children the best. Several of the needs of the ministry may wait and be done later, but once the education of the children either academically, religious or home training fails, you may live to regret it. This warning may sound selfish, but something happened some years back that made me to take this issue very serious. I attended the funeral ceremony of the general overseer of a big ministry in Nigeria. When it was time to read the scriptures during the service, the first son was asked to read the scriptures, but alas, he could barely read the English Bible. In fact, it was embarrassing to the ministry how he just muddled up the reading of the scripture and left the podium. You can’t blame the grown up young man. The time he was supposed to be getting the rudiments of his education, the man of God and probably mummy were busy with the Lord’s work. They probably forgot the scriptures in 1 Timothy 5:8;

But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

Often when we read this scripture, we usually conclude that it is all about money. Please be informed however that often, even money is not enough. Even if you have money to put them in a good hostel because you are too busy to take care of them at home, it means a lot to them when you come personally on visiting days and pick them personally rather than the driver when they go on holidays. Let us look at some of the dangers of not tending our vineyard concerning your children as you do ministry;
* THERE IS TIME AND PURPOSE FOR EVERYTHING.
* THE PLACE OF YOUR BIOLOGICAL CHILDREN IS DISTINCT AND CAN NEVER BE TAKEN OVER COMPLETELY BY OTHERS.
* THEY MAY BECOME REBELLIOUS TO YOUR GOD.
* WRONG TRAINING MAY BE GIVEN TO THEM AS A RESULT OF YOUR UNAVAILABILITY.
* THEY MAY ABANDON YOU DURING OLD AGE DUE TO LACK OF EMOTIONAL BONDING.
* YOU MAY BECOME A WRONG MODEL FOR YOUR MENTEES AND SPIRITUAL CHILDREN.
* THEY OFTEN LACK THE REQUISITE TRAINING TO BE ABLE TO TAKE OVER WHAT YOU HAVE LABORED FOR.

As a conclusion, if you fail to pay attention to your family, your chances of having the kind of fulfillment that led Paul to make the declaration that Apostle Paul made in 2Tim.4:7-8, will be absent towards the end of your life. Paul said;

I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith: Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing.

For a minister of God that abandoned his vineyard, either not training the children or abandoning the wife, the testimony of Apostle Paul above can’t be replicated in such life. Someone that was careless about the family can not be said to have finished well in life and ministry.
May we all receive the grace to pay attention to our vineyard in Jesus name.

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