Main Main Text: Eccl.3:1-7
Memory:
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven: (Eccl.3:1)

It is not the way your spouse is looking now that she will be in decades to come. Age will take its toll on the present look, shape and movement of your spouse. In fact, there are several things that your spouse is doing now which will not be done the same way in decades to come. There are ways of doing things now which are perfectly acceptable, but which in the years to come may surprisingly become detestable to you due to current realities at that time. Often, it is when you are comparing your spouse with another person’s spouse or when there are unresolved conflicts that you start noticing depreciation.
Remember the following always:
Marriage Is For Life
Marriage is a lifetime relationship. If you are praying to live for ninety years before death and you got married at the age of twenty five, it is better for you to make up your mind that you are going to be together with your partner for sixty five years. Now, if you have only been married for twenty five years and already you are complaining about the look of your spouse, that means you have not really put things in proper perspective. Prepare your mind that he or she is still going to become really old and make up your mind to love him or her despite the changes. There is an adage that says, ‘Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder’. It is really what you have in mind that your eyes will translate. If within you your spouse is appreciated, what you see when you look at such spouse cannot be anything but beauty. Don’t also forget that it wasn’t the way you yourself were looking when you started the relationship that you are still looking. If anybody tells you that at fifty, you are still the way you were at twenty five, that person must be deceiving you.
There Is Appreciation Despite Depreciation.
If your spouse is no longer youthful as she used to be, don’t forget that there are other areas in which she has appreciated in value. She has become better in home management and she has appreciated in value because of the children who are now doing fine in their various vocations. In fact a closer look at her will even reveal that there is a kind of matured beauty that is reflecting in her life. In the case of a man too, if only you can think very well, you will be able to discover that he has appreciated in some vital areas despite depreciation in others.

Finally, never forget that there are seasons of life whether you like it or not. There is the season when you were a youth and the season of life when you will be deceiving yourself if you continue to feel that you are still young; so it is with your spouse. You should rejoice even when you discover that you are no longer youthful because it is not everyone that God gave the privilege.

Discussion Points With Your Spouse
• Think about it and tell each other where you have appreciated since you got married years ago.

PRAYER
May I continually discover beauty in my spouse throughout our lives in Jesus’ name.

QUOTABLE QUOTE
WHEN YOUR INTEREST IN YOUR SPOUSE STARTS DECLINING, IT IS USUALLY BECAUSE YOU ARE COMPARING HIM OR HER WITH ANOTHER PERSON’S SPOUSE.- Dr. Mike Oluniyi

Main Text: Prov.24:10-12
If thou faint in the day of adversity,
thy strength is small. (Prov.24:10)

Life is full of ups and downs. In the life of a marriage, there is likely to be a time when things won’t work out as scheduled. It may be loss of job, sickness, lack or any unexpected occurrence which suddenly throws you a situation in which you cannot meet up with the target you have set for yourself as a family. No one prays for this kind of situation but it is a battle that must be won when it comes.
The marriage vows taken by the bride and groom on wedding day says;
‘I [name], take you [name], to be my wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness, in health; to love and to cherish from this day forward until death do us part’

Though many churches today have changed the vows to reflect only the good aspect of married life, believing that saying the other side is like a curse but is it really so? In marriage, just as there is health, there is sickness; not just physical sickness but also financial sickness and all kinds of sicknesses which nobody prays for but they come.

Some facts to remember when your family is going through the period of declining fortunes:
• Challenges are usually temporary. Every challenge that comes to your family will end one day.
• Despite everything that is happening to your home, many other couples would have loved to trade places with you.
• Don’t become hopeless as there may be alternatives which hopelessness may not allow you to see.
• The worst scenario may not really be as bad as you think. For instance, if you obtain loan and you lose the collateral as a consequence of failure to pay back, that should not be the end of your life.
• Resenting your spouse at this time may only make things worse and lead to the collapse of your home.
• Hopelessness will make your faith to fail and once your faith fails, anything can happen. When you see people that commit suicide or abandon their home in difficult times, it is usually because they lost hope.
And the Lord said, Simon, Simon, behold, Satan hath desired to have you, that he may sift you as wheat: But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not… (Lk.22:32-32)
Nobody prays for a time in marriage when things will appear to be falling apart but you must make up your mind to win this battle if it comes. If business is negatively affected but your union is intact, God will still do greater things through you in the future. If you throw away your partner at this crucial time of adversity or you allow the challenge to allow your faith in God to fail or you became so worried to the extent of losing your health, you would have lost something that may never be regained.

Points For Discussion With Your Spouse
• Are we sufficiently determined to stand by each other in the face of any adversity?

PRAYER
I receive the strength to stand in the face of any challenge in Jesus’ name.

QUOTABLE QUOTE
HOPELESSNESS WILL MAKE YOUR FAITH TO FAIL; AND WHEN IT FAILS, ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi

Main Text: Heb.13:4-6
Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge. (Heb.13:4)
One of the greatest battles which you must fight and win in marriage is the battle of faithfulness. However attractive your spouse may be, you will discover other members of the opposite sex that are more“desirable” at one point or the other in your marital journey.
You may just find such people irresistible. There are also some of them that are the ones that find a way of getting themselves attached to you unknowingly, probably by lending helping hand in a special way. Many men have fallen into such traps before they realized it.
Apart from those who fall into immorality through carelessness, many that are caught in adultery appear to do it because of apparent lack of satisfaction or as retaliation for a spouse who has also been unfaithful. However, it is important for you to know that nothing is significant enough to justify you going into adultery.
One of the greatest dangers of adultery is that when you are involved in it, your spouse becomes less and less attractive to you, since you would have found an alternative in the other man or woman. It may also appear as if nobody is qualified to advice you as something will be telling you that you are mature enough to take your own decisions. To cover your tracks, you may also become a serial liar.
Running away from adultery appears to be one of the greatest duties you owe your spouse and God. Before you get involved, think about the following:
• It may appear easy to start an extramarital relationship but it may not be easy to stop.
• The relationship you are about going into may be the poison that will kill your marriage and destroy the relationship between you and your spouse and children forever.
• It is a matter of time, the potential alternative to your spouse will come with a new set of problems.
• When you mar the story of your marriage with unfaithfulness, you may no longer be the model that your children will look up to in the future.
• There is no how you will be unfaithful that you will be able to earn the trust of your spouse 100% again.
• A lot of stories of extra-marital affairs always end in regret.
• Consider the fact that no adulterer will make heaven.
The battle of faithfulness is therefore a battle that you must win if you desire to have a successful home.

Discussion Points With Your Spouse
* In your own view what are the dangers associated with unfaithfulness in marriage?
* Remind yourselves of a case of adultery in a family you know and how it ended.

PRAYER
Father, may I never lose the battle of faithfulness in my marriage in Jesus’ name.
(468 words)

ILLUSTRATION
AN UNFAITHFUL SPOUSE FINDS IT INCREDIBLY EASY TO MANUFACTURE LIES.

DAY 41

THE BATTLE OF DECLINING FORTUNES IN MARRIAGE
Main Text: Prov.24:10-12
If thou faint in the day of adversity,
thy strength is small. (Prov.24:10)
Life is full of ups and downs. In the life of a marriage, there is likely to be a time when things won’t work out as scheduled. It may be loss of job, sickness, lack or any unexpected occurrence which suddenly throws you a situation in which you cannot meet up with the target you have set for yourself as a family. No one prays for this kind of situation but it is a battle that must be won when it comes.
The marriage vows taken by the bride and groom on wedding day says;
‘I [name], take you [name], to be my wedded husband/wife, to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness, in health; to love and to cherish from this day forward until death do us part’

Though many churches today have changed the vows to reflect only the good aspect of married life, believing that saying the other side is like a curse but is it really so? In marriage, just as there is health, there is sickness; not just physical sickness but also financial sickness and all kinds of sicknesses which nobody prays for but they come.

TheSome facts to remember when your family is going through the period of declining fortunes:

Main Text: Isa.54:15-17
Memory:
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places. Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. (Is.54:17)

A lot of battles that we fight in marriage are really spiritual battles which we ignorantly fight physically. However, anyone who fights a spiritual battle physically is bound to lose.
You may not believe that there are spiritual forces or supernatural arrows that may be sent to scatter your marriage but it does not negate the fact that they exist. Following are some of the sources of the arrows:
– Those you might have offended.
– Those that just envy the way you and your spouse lovingly relate with each other.
– Those who desire to have you or your spouse.
– The arrows may come from home – your own relatives or those of your spouse having the feeling that the unity in your home is so strong that you or your spouse is not paying adequate attention to them.
– It may be from your competitors who feel that your life will be disorganized once your home is destroyed.
– It may be due to an unbroken curse.
– Finally, spiritual attack may be attracted to you through your past or present ways of life or even that of your parents. A man who has been married for twelve years without any child went for prayers and it was revealed to him that he was cursed by his former girlfriend whom he impregnated but rejected the pregnancy. During the pains of delivery, the lady cursed him that if really he was the one that impregnated her, he would not experience the joy of fatherhood until he returned to claim the child.

So, the battle of principalities and powers can only be fought spiritually. Therefore, if you notice an abnormal trend in your family,
1. Pray for discernment
2. Pray on steps to be taken
3. If there is need for restitution, take step
4. Pray for deliverance
5. If it is an inherited curse, declare yourself and entire family free by using relevant scriptures

In fact, you should not even wait until you experience the battle before you start soaking your spouse and entire home in the blood of Jesus and declaring your home a forbidden territory for the devil.
Discussion Points With Your Spouse
* Carefully look at your home. Is there anything happening or a trend you need to pray about in the light of the above?

PRAYER
Father, make me spiritually sensitive so that I won’t be fighting spiritual battles physically in my marriage in Jesus’ name.

QUOTABLE QUOTE
ANYONE WHO FIGHTS SPIRITUAL BATTLE PHYSICALLY IN A MARRIAGE WILL LOSE THE BATTLE OVER HIS HOME

Main text: Lk.22:31-32
Memory:
But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: … (Lk.22:32a)

The battle of the anchor is the battle which you must fight in your marriage to ensure that you don’t lose your faith. When the anchor of a ship is in place, it cannot be drifted away by the turbulence of the sea. Your faith in God serves as the anchor which holds you steady when the storms of life come. One basic fact of life is that it won’t always be rosy. While we pray that it will always be beautiful, ugly situations you don’t pray for will rear its ugly head. These ugly situations are often so distressing that you may take the wrong steps if you lose faith in your God. However, if your anchor is in place, there are numerous assurances from the word of God which will keep you steady so that you won’t be swept away by the turbulent times. That is the message to you in the following scriptures:
These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world. (Jn.16:33)
When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkestthrough the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. (Is.43:2)

The devil will definitely try some pranks with your home since he knows that spiritually stable homes are not easily manipulated by him. He will do everything practically possible to bring violent storms that will threaten the ship of your marriage. This should not be surprising to you anyway. After all, the scriptures have this to say about him:
The thief cometh not, but for to steal and to kill, and to destroy. I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly [John 10:10]

You should know and be convinced that whatever may come your way must have been experienced by another person even in a worse manner. You must also know that every problem has an expiry date. If only you can remain connected to your God, a time will come when the matter will become a testimony that you may share to encourage others.

Discussion Points With Your Spouse
• If you are going to be sincere with yourselves, will you say that you have the anchor? In other word, have you given your life to Jesus Christ?
• If you have given your life to Him, how will you describe your level of faith in His ability to handle all difficult situations in your life and home?

PRAYER
My father and my God, may my faith in you never fail in Jesus’ name.

QUOTABLE QUOTE
WITHOUT THE ANCHOR OF YOUR FAITH, THE SHIP OF YOUR MARRIAGE EASILY DRIFTS TOWARDS DESTRUCTION. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi