Text. Eccl.9:8-10

Memory:
Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity…(Eccl.9:9)

Sexual problems range from low interest or inability to satisfy partner, to complete sex denial. There is a whole range of causes of sexual problems in marriage. The first range of causes we are going to look at today comes under alternative attraction.

When there is an opposite sex that fulfills a part of the roles of your spouse by imagination or by reality, then that person constitutes an alternative attraction to your spouse. Alternative attraction constitutes real danger to sexual fulfillment and hence the overall success of your marriage. This is mainly because if you have already derived the pleasure which is supposed to be provided by your spouse from an alternative source, your need for your spouse is reduced significantly.

In my book, Twelve Laws For Successful Marriage, the law of deadly alternative states that:
Once there is an alternative attraction, your spouse becomes less attractive.
The first form of alternative attraction which may cause problems for the sex life of your marriage is adultery:

ADULTERY
If you are involved in an adulterous relationship, you will soon discover that your demand for sex from your spouse or the pleasure you derive from sexual intimacy with your spouse will reduce drastically. Initially, if you were demanding for sex thrice in a week, you may be able to ask for it twice and pretend that you are tired for the rest of the week but a time will gradually come that you will start seeing faults in your wife that may not even make you to demand for it for even once in a week. A time will come when your mate in adultery may satisfy you so well that you will throw caution to the winds and even stay overnight with him or her and fabricate lies to make up for it. At this stage your extra-marital relationship might have also gradually opened your eyes to ‘deficiencies’ in your spouse that had always been there, but now seemed to be more pronounced because of the alternative attraction you have in the other woman or man. Those exposed deficiencies (which are often imaginary) will gradually make you lose appetite for sex with your spouse completely.
Apart from the fact that once you get involved, it reduces your desire towards your spouse, God specifically warned us against adultery severally in the scriptures. One of such scriptures is Prov.6:32-33
Whoever commits adultery with a woman lacks understanding;
He who does so destroys his own soul.
Wounds and dishonor he will get,
And his reproach will not be wiped away.

Adultery has the potential to destroy both your marriage and your relationship with God. Avoid it by all means!

PRAYER
My father, shift my attention from any other person distracting my attention from my spouse in Jesus’ name.

QUOTABLE QUOTE

ANY PERSON WHO SHIFTS YOUR DESIRE AWAY FROM YOUR SPOUSE MAY APPEAR TO BE A DEAR FRIEND, BUT IS REALLY AN ENEMY IN DISGUISE. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi

Text. Prov.5:15-19

Memory:
Let thy fountain be blessed:
and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe;
let her breasts satisfy thee at all times;
and be thou ravished always with her love. (Prov.5:18-19)

Apart from helping relationships to be intimate, active sex life can provide for a longer, healthier and more enjoyable life. The following are some of the health benefits of regular sex in your marriage as adapted from articles.mercola.com.

* Improves Heart Health.
Couples who have sexual intercourse regularly (twice weekly) are 45 percent less likely to develop heart disease than those who did so once a month or less according to a study. Sexual intercourse is also linked with better stress response and lower blood pressure.
* Eases Stress.
During sexual intercourse, your body is triggered to produce feel-good chemicals, helping to ease stress and boost pleasure, calm and self-esteem. Research also shows that those who have sexual intercourse responded better when subjected to stressful situations.
After a stressful day, if you are met with a romantic husband or wife who lures you to bed for an exciting sexual adventure or responds to your sexual moves in a loving way, the effect of stress on your health will be less damaging than if you were met with an indifferent spouse.

* Improves Sleep.
After sexual activity, the relaxation-inducing hormone, prolactin is released, which may help you nod off more quickly. The ‘love hormone’ oxytocin, released during orgasm, also promotes sleep. That is why you may not need any other sedative towards sound sleep after a satisfying sexual round with your spouse.

* Boosts Your Immune System.
It has been observed that people with active sex life are less prone to diseases than people with negligible sex life.

* Improves Mental Health.
There are evidences that healthy sexual life in marriage also affects mental health of the couple. It has been discovered that sexual frequency and satisfaction is directly linked with the mental health and well-being of partners in marriage.

* Helps Weight Control.
Sex is really a great form of exercise. It burns an average of 5 calories per minute, making it a significant form of exercise. It can help you maintain your flexibility and balance.

* Can Help Relief Pain.
Sexual activity releases pain-reducing hormones and has been found to help reduce or eliminate back and leg pain for menstrual cramps.

* Can Help Women With Bladder Control And Men With Prostrate.
Sexual intercourse helps strengthen your pelvic floor muscles, which contract during orgasm. This can help women to improve their bladder control and avoid incontinence. Research has also shown that men who are sexually active have a lower risk of prostrate cancer.

Discussion Points With Your Spouse
• How well do you sleep after a satisfying sexual encounter? (Physical health)
• How easily annoyed are you when you are having issues with your spouse on sex? (Emotional health)
• How focused and articulate are you when you are having sexual issues with your spouse? (Psychological health)

PRAYER
Father and my God, help me that sexual intercourse will be a source of pleasure for us in my home in Jesus’ name.

QUOTABLE QUOTE

ILLUSTRATION
MARITAL SEX GOES BEYOND CHILDMAKING AND PLEASURE; IT IS A TONIC WHICH ENHANCES YOUR PHYSICAL AND MENTAL HEALTH. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi