Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; (1Cor.13:4)
It is always better to be proactive about sexual problems in your marriage. In other words, do everything you can to prevent those problems because you never know the extent of the damage it may cause in your home. In this session, we are going to look at some of the proactive steps which may be taken.
* Love your spouse.
Love appears to be the most important ingredient that can solve most problems in marriage, including sexual problems. When you love your spouse, you are not likely to deliberately do anything to disappoint him/ her ordinarily including the denial of sex. On the other hand, if you love your spouse, when you are denied of sex, you will treat the matter with understanding. At least, you may be sympathetic to the cause of the denial, thereby avoiding overreaction.
* Avoid physical distance between you and your spouse.
Prolonged physical distance does not help marriage at all. If you have a prolonged period of career callings that often takes you away from home, allow your spouse to go with you whenever possible, especially in a situation in which you have to consistently deal with members of the opposite sex.
* Don’t bring your frustrations into the bedroom.
Challenges at your place of work and frustrations in your relationship with others have the tendency to weigh you down and may affect romance and sex with your spouse. Learn as much as possible to shut your challenges at workplace and other areas of life out of your bedroom.
Communication is a vital tool for the health of any marriage. When there is any challenge with the sexual life of a couple, sitting down and talking it over is better than bottling it up. You should feel free to discuss with your spouse about sex while he/she should also be free to do so. The more you bottle it up, the more the tendency to be frustrated.
* Being Contented With Your Spouse.
If you are fond of comparing your spouse with other people’s spouses, you may be doing an incalculable damage to your marriage. Complaints may lead to dissatisfaction which may in turn result in lower appetite for sex by either party. Be contented with your spouse.
For a woman especially, sex is more an emotional matter than physical. When your husband has offended you and you are nursing the hurt, seeing him may turn you off instead of turning you on.
The grass may appear apparently greener on the other side, but the fact is if you wet your own brown grass, it will soon acquire greenness too. – Dr Mike Oluniyi