Avoiding Sexual Problems In Marriage (3) Learn Your Spouse Love Language: Couples Companion Day 23

Main text: SS.1:1-4

Memory: Song of Songs 2:2
As the lily among thorns,
so is my love among the daughters.

One of the best ways of arousing your partner sexually is by identifying his/her love language.
In an excellent book by Gary Chapman, Five Love Languages, he proposed that each adult responses to one or more of five basic love languages. The languages are:

* Receiving Gifts.
A woman whose basic love language is receiving gifts will feel excited receiving gift from her husband. Such gift signifies to her that the husband loves her and she may respond to such feeling by responding favorably to the husband’s sexual advances. The gift does not necessarily have to be expensive to be appreciated by someone whose love language is receiving gifts; something you brought just to show that while away, you were thinking about your spouse.

* Quality Time.
When the basic love language of your spouse is that of quality time, she appreciates you so much when you devote time to spend with her for instance watching the television or just discussing with each other, taking her out just for the fun of it or generally making yourself available. Such a wife will do anything including positive response to your sexual advances to reciprocate your demonstration of love.

* Words Of Affirmation
Words may be used to easily lift up the spirit of someone whose basic love language is that of words of affirmation. When such a wife just comes back from the hairdressers and you tell her how beautiful she looks with her new hairdo; you periodically tell her how much you love her; or you encourage her when obviously she is supposed to be condemned, you are setting up the highway to her heart. The resultant effect may be that she will be willing to please her husband especially in the area of sex.

* Acts Of Service.
When your wife is cooking and you are giving her a hand in getting the children ready for school or tidying up the living room, for a woman whose basic love language is acts of service, it is a demonstration of your love for her. You may be sure that when a woman is assured of your love for her, she will be ready to give you anything.

* Physical Touch.
There are those whose basic love language is that of physical touch. For such a spouse, your touch even just by holding hands, cuddling or even kissing is a message of love to her.

Your identification of the love language of your spouse may be used to arouse her interest in sex whenever there is need to do so. Consequently, instead of complaining about your spouse’s lack of response to your sexual moves, give yourself the task of identifying the love language of your spouse.

Discussion Points With Your Spouse
• Have you identified each other’s love language?
• How successful have you been in using your spouse’s love language to improve your love life?

My Father and my God, grant me the wisdom and grace to have deep understanding of the nature of my spouse in Jesus’ name.


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