MAIN TEXT: SS. 4:7-10
How fair is thy love, my sister, my spouse!
how much better is thy love than wine!
and the smell of thine ointments than all spices! (SS.4:10)
One of the most important ingredients of a delightsome home is that of complete acceptance of your spouse with every possible imperfection in his or her life. You must believe that your spouse is the best that you could have ever had; the choice of God for your life and your own portion in life. This is real work because indeed you will see those who are apparently ‘better’ than your spouse in at least one area of life. It may be in terms of looks, resources, position or even sometimes ministry. As a child of God for instance, you may see a man who can do ministry assignments better than your husband, but you must deliberately convince yourself that you have got the best. Once you are thinking that someone is better than your spouse, that person may become an alternative attraction to your spouse which could be deadly to your marriage.
It is only when you see your spouse as being your own beautiful portion in life that:
– You will continue to be excited about him or her as God’s choice for your life. Your home can’t be a delightsome one if you don’t seem to be excited about your spouse.
– You will continue to enjoy the relationship. If you keep resenting your spouse, you will continue to discover error in whatever he or she does.
– It becomes easy to pardon the faults of your spouse. It will be apparent to you that any other person as your spouse would have done worse.
– Due to your satisfaction, other alternatives will come short of your expectations. When you are satisfied with your spouse, it is more difficult for you to fall into the temptation of adultery.
– You will do everything within your power to protect his or her interest. This usually gets reciprocated, thereby contributing to the pleasure the two of you will derive from the relationship.
– You will remember that another option, however good it is, will come with its own set of problems which will make that of your spouse to pale into insignificance.
– You will be ready to overlook, and even enjoy, the imperfections or weaknesses of your spouse. When you are constantly complaining about the errors or the weaknesses of your spouse, you will only succeed in sending the wrong messages to him or her. There are some weaknesses in your spouse that will never change, no matter how you complain. When you believe that your spouse is the best you could have ever got, it makes you to overlook the weaknesses in him or her.
DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
* Tell each other why your choice of spouse is the best that could have ever been made.
Father, let me always see reason to be excited about my spouse in Jesus’ name.
WHEN YOU BELIEVE THAT YOUR SPOUSE IS THE BEST, EVERY OF HIS/ HER WEAKNESS IS SEEN AS NECESSARY INGREDIENT TO MAKE YOUR HOME UNIQUE. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi