MAIN TEXT: Jer.17:5-8.
…Cursed be the man that trusteth in man, and maketh flesh his arm, …(
Most of us expect our spouse to keep us happy. Once that does not happen, it makes us miserable because our expectation of pleasure from them is so high. In fact a very high percentage of lack of fulfillment in marriage is that of feelings resulting from spousal disappointment. Some of the reasons why your joy should not be solely dependent on your spouse are;
– He is a human being who has his own personal issues to attend to.
– When you offend him, it may be difficult for him to make you happy until the conflict is over.
– There are certain circumstances of life which may prevent your spouse from making you happy as much as he would have desired to.
– He also may lose his own joy for one reason or the other, it may not be reasonable to expect him to give you what he doesn’t have.
– Spiritual forces may operate against your union, thereby even making him to be a source of concern to you.
– Other matters may distract his attention from making you happy.
– As a result of some personal weaknesses on his part, your spouse may deliberately decide not to make you happy even for a season.
Who Then Should Hold the Key to Your Joy?
You should allow your God to hold the key to your joy by opening up, interacting with and living the treasure chest of the promises of God in the scriptures; (
When your joy is dependent on God, several things will happen:
– You will see your spouse as a human being who has the tendency to disappoint at any time.
– You will be determined to love your spouse despite knowing that you may often be disappointed.
– You will be able to appreciate him for any little good deed he performs. Appreciating your spouse for little things will likely make him to be determined to do more to please you.
– You will be able to ask God for help to be your best in that marriage.
– You won’t hold him responsible for your joy; you are responsible because, even if he does something bad, you can choose how to respond.
– Then, whatever bad news anyone gives you about your spouse can’t make you sad because you are in charge of your life.
Really, who holds the key of joy in your marriage is a decision you must make and it flows from who you are in Christ. When you are personally secured about who you are, it will be difficult for anyone or circumstances to frustrate you or make you to lose your joy.
DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
* Try to remember the times which you made each other unhappy in the past; which ones were deliberate, which were not deliberate?
* If your joy In so dependent on who you are in Jesus Christ, how is your relationship with Him?
* Do you know that the better your relationship with Jesus Christ, the more you will likely make each other happy?
My father and my God, may I always grow in my relationship with you so that my joy will be more dependent on you than anyone else in Jesus’ name.
LET GOD HOLD THE KEY TO YOUR JOY BECAUSE IF IT IS HELD BY ANY OTHER PERSON, YOU WILL OFTEN BE SAD. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi