MAIN TEXT: 1Cor.15:33.
MEMORY:
Do not be deceived: “Evil company corrupts good habits.”(1Cor.15:33)

The positive relationship mindset makes you to train your children to only allow friends and significant others to affect their lives positively. This mindset is reflected in the way you make them to know that relationship matters. Let them know that the people you relate with in life are some of the most important determinants of your destiny. Some of the teachings which may be useful at this stage are briefly discussed below:

Friends As Determinants Of Future Well-Being.
Let them know that friends have great potential to change their outlook on life and the way they respond to situations. They should therefore know and be able to practice the principle of separation due to destination; that is, if a friend is not going the same destination with you, it is better to separate from him so that you won’t end up at his own destination. If you have a friend that is not keen on making heaven, it is better you separate from him because you may end up going to hell with him.

Friends Should not erase who They are.
Let them know also that they should be real to themselves. They should not try to hide their identity while they are with friends because that can make them susceptible to being negatively influenced.

Every Friend Is Transient.
Let your children know that friends are transient in nature; none of them is permanent. However close a friend is to you, one day, the juncture of separation will come. The only permanent friend who will be with you throughout your life and even till eternity is Jesus Christ; it therefore becomes imperative to know him and continually be His friend.

Your Spouse Will Be Your Longest Serving Friend or Enemy.
This mindset will make you to teach your children that their spouse will be their longest serving friend or enemy. This will make them to be careful when time comes to decide on it. Let them know that on the average, they will spend at least two thirds of their entire lifetime with their life partner. If it is so then, they have to be careful of their choice of life partner. Consequently, the choice of whom to marry is one of the most important decisions they will have to make in life.

Your Friends Should Not Be Regarded As A Spare Tyre.
Most people make use of their friends the way they treat the spare tyre of their car. Hardly do you check the state of your spare tyre until you need it. You teach them that people that are useful to them should not just be called on when they are needed, there is need to check on their welfare once in a while, so that by the time they are needed, they may still be available.

Discussion Points.
• In what ways are we showing interest in, and monitoring the friends that our children are moving with?

PRAYER
Father, use me to help my children to be selective about the friends they keep so that they will not be negatively influenced in Jesus’ name.


QUOTABLE QUOTE
BE SELECTIVE ABOUT THE FRIENDS YOU KEEP BECAUSE THEY ARE SOME OF THE GREATEST DETERMINANTS OF YOUR DESTINY. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi

MAIN TEXT: Heb.12:5-8.
MEMORY:
For whom the Lord loves He chastens,
And scourges every son whom He receives.(Heb.12:6)

This mindset requires you to love your children; that appears to be quite obvious but the love must be genuine love. A lot of ways in which we try to demonstrate love to our children aren’t really love. For instance, many of us whose some of our children occupy a special position in our family tend to overindulge such children to demonstrate our love for them, without knowing that we are actually destroying their future.

Love, But It Should Not Prevent You From Taking Hard Decisions.
Hard decisions are good decisions that are not popular due to the sacrifice involved but you are ready to take it even if other members of the family don’t understand now. Sometimes, even your spouse may not really understand initially why you are taking such hard decisions but you know it is in the best interest of the family.

Love, But Don’t Spare The Rod Of Correction.(Heb.12:11)

Many parents, especially for those children that occupy special position in their lives, find it difficult to discipline or correct them when thy err. If you don’t discipline a child because you don’t want him to cry, you will cry with him later when the effect of your laxity is reflected.

Love, But Let Them Value Labour.(Gen.2:2;Pro.22:29)
Right from the time that your child is young, give him work to do at home and make him to value it. When you make a child, whether male or female, to grow up totally dependent on the maid who cooks, washes and carry out every instruction from him, you are raising up an adult who may become a problem for everyone in relationship with him in the future. (2Thess.3:6-12)

Love, But Let Them Learn.
Often, parents apparently out of love for their children indulge them so much that it affects their learning opportunities.

Love, But Don’t Allow Them To Take advantage Of Others.
Teach your children to avoid taking advantage of others. The vulnerability of others should not be exploited for a selfish advantage by your child.

Love, But Let Them Periodically Experience Inconveniences.
Don’t allow your child to always have his way as it can make him to become a problem for people that he will be relating with in the future. He should know that “Yes” is not always the answer to every request. He must learn that “No” as well as “Wait” are also answers that should be acceptable to him as he relates with people.

Love, But Allow Him To Grow up.
There are men and women that though they are physically matured, are unfortunately emotionally toddlers. It is a problem that comes up when you love a child so much that you don’t allow him to experience the process of growth which involves taking decisions and going through the consequences of those decisions whether good or bad.

It is not every action which you take about your children that is actually of genuine love. As parents, you must be careful to ensure that you don’t take steps that will jeopardize the future of your child, all in the name of love.

DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
• Frankly speaking, in view of the above, in what ways can we demonstrate more of the genuine love mindset in the training of our children?

PRAYER
Father, help me not to destroy the future of my children while thinking that I am showing them love in Jesus’ name.

QUOTABLE QUOTE
IF YOU “LOVE” YOUR CHILDREN SO MUCH THAT YOU DON’T WANT THEM TO CRY NOW, YOU WILL STILL CRY AGAIN WITH THEM WHEN THE EFFECT OF YOUR FAULTY PARENTING BECOMES EVIDENT IN THEIR LIVES. -Dr. Mike Oluniyi

MAIN TEXT: Phil.3:17-20
MEMORY:
Brethren, join in following my example, and note those who so walk, as you have us for a pattern. (Phil.3:17)

The modeling mindset make you to see yourself as the model through which your children will perceive the right or wrong way of doing things in life. This mindset is so important in parenting because most of the things your children will learn from you are going to be taught through informal means, most of which will be non verbal. In other words, most of the virtues that they will learn from you will be through their observation of your ways of life. That means the way you do things as a parent matters. Whether you like it or not, you are like a model to your children. If you have this mindset, you will pay attention to the following as the areas where you can model the right attitudes in your children:

Your Relationship With God.
It is possible for you to deceive outsiders about your relationship with God but you may not really be able to hide the real you from members of your family. Your children will definitely discover how sincere you are in your relationship with God. You must be able to model the true life of a believer at home. If not, you are just a hypocrite and you can be sure that your children will rebel against your God in the future.

Your Marriage.
You can successfully model a lot of appropriate godly virtues to your children through the way you relate with your spouse. There is no better way of demonstrating love and acceptance than the way you relate with your spouse.

Your Attitude To Money.
If you are ready to tell lies, cheat and commit fraud in the course of looking for money, one of them may graduate to actual robbery or be ready to even use human being for money rituals in the future.

Your Relationships.
Do you just make use of people, only to discard them later? If you are such a person, you are modeling lack of appreciation of the helpers of their lives. You may discover that one or more of them may actually go beyond your own level by discarding even their spouses in the future.

Your Handling Of Disappointments And Success.
They should learn through you that it is only God that will never disappoint them; they should not be surprised if someone they trusted so much ended up disappointing them. Make them to realize that it is in the nature of human beings to disappoint. (Jer.17:5)

Your Attitude To Work.
Model your aversion to laziness through the conduct of your life. This is one of the virtues that is difficult to teach your children theoretically. How do you handle your business and that of others? (Pro.6:6-11).


Attitude To Time.
The scriptures make us to realize that there is time and purpose for everything under the sun. (Eccl.3:1) Let them know time wasted is gone forever, never to be regained. Let them know that if they while away their youthful days, there will be a time that they will look back with regrets.

Your attitude To Integrity.
One of the best ways to teach integrity is to use your life to teach it. For instance, most people only tell their children where they got it right in life, you hardly tell others where you failed.

DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
• Have you noticed that your children are often like the mirrors of who we are at home?

PRAYER
LORD, help me to model the right attitudes in the children you have given me both biologically and spiritually in Jesus’ name.


QUOTABLE QUOTE
YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE ARE LIKE MIRROR FOR YOUR CHILDREN; WHAT WILL BE SEEN IN THEIR LIVES IN THE FUTURE ARE LARGELY REFLECTION OF WHO YOU ARE. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi

MAIN TEXT: Ex. 20:12
MEMORY:
Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee. (Ex.20:12)

The honour mindset is the mindset that makes you to train your children to attract the blessings of God by honouring their parents, both biological and spiritual. If you possess this mindset, you will do the following:

Demonstrate the mindset by honouring your own parents.
If you want your children to honour you, they may need to see it in the way you honour your own parents. When you speak to your parents, do you accord them respect? If you do so, your children are watching you. When your parents advise you, how do you take it? Sometimes, the advice they give may be at variance with current realities, but the way you discard the idea matters. Don’t forget that a time will come too that you will give outdated advice to your children in the future, will you be happy if they discard the idea as if you are a fool?

Let your children value your role and sacrifices in their lives.
They must know the reason why certain decisions are taken concerning them so that they will appreciate your role in their lives. Let them have a feeling of some of the sacrifices you made concerning them.

Don’t diminish the value of the efforts of your spouse over the children.
Comparatively, you may have the privilege of contributing more than your spouse into the life of the children materially or otherwise. However, you must not consequently make the children to look down on the meager efforts of your spouse. When you are running down your spouse for the children to value you more, it often backfires and reduces your own value.

Make them to believe that parents will normally not lead them astray.
You must earn the trust of your children enough for them to believe that you cannot lead them astray.

They must learn to accept the discipline of their parents.
Your children must learn to see your discipline as an act of love. Often, lack of understanding leads to rebellion among especially teenagers. You must teach them that discipline is an act of love; they must not interpret it as a sign of cruelty or hatred.

Let There Be Unity Of Purpose Between You And Your Spouse.
One of the ways through which you can demonstrate the honour mindset is by being united in purpose with your spouse. If there is an issue of discipline at home and you take different stands and are openly antagonistic of each other, you will be sending the wrong message that will diminish your value in the reckoning of your children.

It is important to know that as you teach them to honour their biological parents, you should also do for their spiritual parents. Their spiritual heads are to be honoured for them not to miss their spiritual and material blessings.

DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
• In what ways can we model the honour mindset in this home?

PRAYER
LORD, teach me to train my children in a way that will make them to honour both their biological and spiritual parents in the future in Jesus’ name.

Text: 1Cor.9:24-27
But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.(1Cor.9:27)

This mindset makes you to train your child to be in control of his feelings and overcomes his weaknesses. It will make him to own up in his areas of weaknesses and avoid blaming others for his own errors. A self-disciplined person will become a force to reckon with in life.
Self-disciplined mindset will make you to emphasize the following to your children:

There is Consequence for Wrong decisions.
Your child should be made to know that just as there is reward for good behavior, there is also consequence for wrong decisions. He should be made to deliberately work on himself from going against set rules even when it is inconvenient for him to do so.

Let them understand the golden rule.
Let them know that if you are doing unto others what you don’t want them to do to you, you are either being outright wicked or a hypocrite (Matt.7:12). Consequently, before they do anything to others, they should ask themselves how they will feel if it is done to them.

Instructions must be followed.
Let them know that unless permission to differ has been sought and received, instructions once given must be followed. Anyone who deliberately flouts instructions given without genuine cause or permission to do so is an irresponsible person.

Own up when wrong.
Teach them that anyone who gives excuse for wrongdoing will still do the same thing and even worse later in the future. Let your children know that persistent giving of excuses is one of the life-features of irresponsible people.

Forgo present consumption to invest in the future.
The self-disciplined mindset will make you to teach your children to learn how to forgo present pleasures in order to direct their resources to future gratifications. Those who are not able to delay gratifications will not be able to invest for future use.

Let them understand due process and avoid shortcuts.
Avoidance of due process is a feature of people who are not self-disciplined. There is therefore the need for you to train your child to go through due process. Once they get used to it from their youthful age, it will help them to take the right decisions in the future.

Let them understand that there is time for everything.
Part of the self-disciplined lifestyle which you need to imbibe in your children is doing the right thing at the right time. (Eccl.3:1-8)

Your relationship with your spouse serves as the laboratory to demonstrate the practice of so many of the godly virtues you wish to teach your children. Let it be seen in you and your spouse that you practice what you are teaching them.

DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
• In what ways can we do more in training our children to be self-disciplined in their endeavors?

PRAYER
LORD, help me to raise ssel-disciplined children in Jesus’ name.

ANYONE WHO GIVES EXCUSE FOR FAULTY ACTIONS WILL COMMIT MORE ATROCITIES IN THE FUTURE. -Dr. Mike Oluniyi