Crisis period is inevitable in any marriage.
‘These things I have spoken to you so that in me ye might have peace. In the world, ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.’(John 16:33)
However beautiful a relationship may be, there must be a period of shaking. It may be loss of job, illness, adultery, investment loss, deviant child, disaster etc. Such crisis is sometimes caused by either or both of the husband and wife, but most of the time, the causes are beyond any member of the family. A drastic change in government policy may sometimes throw a comfortable family into serious crisis just as an accident can leave an indelible mark on the family.
While not praying for crisis, you must be sufficiently committed to your marriage so that whatever happens, your home will continue to be on its feet. There is nothing that will happen in your home that has not happened somewhere else; most of the couples you are seeing are still together because they learnt the appropriate strategy of overcoming their own challenges. Maybe your spouse was caught in adultery, I can assure you other spouses have also been caught in worse cases when compared with your own. They are still together because they have learnt that your ability to overcome the unpleasant challenges that life throws at you is one major thing you must achieve if your marriage will make it.
However, if you find yourself in such situation, it may be better to take the following steps:
1. Convince yourself that you could have found yourself in a worse situation. Whatever might have happened to you, there is still a situation that could have been worse.
2. Find a way of scaling down your standard of living, if it is a financial crisis. For instance, if your children are attending a high fee-paying school, there is nothing wrong in taking them to a lesser one or even to public school. You may also need to adjust your ways of life with respect to the friends you relate with.
3. Don’t complicate things for yourself. For instance, if you are in a financial crisis and a proposal is presented to you that you should obtain a loan, using your house as a collateral, you may discard the proposal because if you fail to pay, you will lose your home and your family will be subjected to greater stress than you are presently experiencing.
4. Don’t lose your faith and don’t lose hope. (Luke 22:31-32)
5. Stop blaming your spouse. Your encouragement may be all that will be needed for him to weather the storm.
While not praying for crisis, you must realize that the unexpected often occurs in marriage, make up your mind that whatever happens, your marriage will not crash. The expectation of God is for you to keep your home to the end. So help you God!
Discussion Points With Your Spouse
• What are the resolutions you have made as a couple to help you during any period of challenge?
HOWEVER STABLE YOUR HOME IS, THERE WILL BE A PERIOD OF SHAKING. WHEN IT HAPPENS, IT IS NOT THE TIME TO DISCARD YOUR SPOUSE BUT A TIME TO DEMONSTRATE THAT YOUR MARRIAGE IS ‘TILL DEATH DO US PART’ – Dr. Mike Oluniyi