MAIN TEXT: Jn.16:31-33.
These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world.(Jn.16:33)
The concept of difficult marriage is a relative term, circumstances of which may mean differently to individuals. This is because the situation which will make you to call your own marriage difficult may be less challenging than that which another person is bearing without much complaints. However, in a difficult marriage, you are probably experiencing circumstances which are a lot different from what you hoped to experience in a normal marriage. Maybe your partner is addicted to drug or alcohol, paranoid, never to be trusted, explodes in anger, an unrepentant debtor, or your in-laws are such a problem for your home; or maybe he or she continuously denies you of sex, is adulterous, has chronic health challenges, is abusive etc. You may also be in a marriage situation where though, as a committed child of God, your fiancé promised you as you were going into marriage promised you that you could continue practicing your religion without disturbance while he would remain a Muslim, but now the whole family of your husband including himself is insisting that you must go to the mosque. It may also be a situation in which your spouse appears to be under an inherited curse which appears to have defied every imaginable solution.
Coping with difficult marriages is one of the matters that arise in marriage as it robs you of the piece of mind and serenity which God wants you to have. However as the scripture above reveals, whatever may be the situation we can have victory because Jesus has already conquered for us.
FAULTY FOUNDATIONS THAT MAY RESULT IN DIFFICULT MARRIAGE
Often, difficult marriages result from faulty foundation. In most cases, you would have seen the signs before marriage but you ignored it probably due to some initial advantages or because you felt then that it was high time you got married. Usually, if you are going to be frank with yourself, an examination of the foundation of your marriage may reveal the cause of the problem. When you discover the error committed in going into the marriage, it is not for you to dwell on it and consequently be making yourself miserable but for you to think of the necessary steps that may be taken in prayers or in stabilizing yourself.
Let us look at some of the common errors that lead to difficult marriages.
– Not seeking the will of God in marriage.(Eph.1:11)
– Marrying outside your faith. (2Cor,6:14)
– Pre-marital sex.(1Cor.6:18-20)
– Rushing into marriage because of age.
⁃ Lack of appropriate counseling before marriage – Marrying prominent person or family for the sake of it.
– Laying undue emphasis on financial gain to the detriment of your home.
DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
* Thank God for your home if you feel that your marriage is not one that may be termed a difficult marriage.
* If there is any aspect of your marriage which you feel is not normal, be frank with each other and discuss it with each other.
Father, I cover any error which I made in the past which may affect the future of my marriage in Jesus’ name.
IF YOU ERRONEOUSLY WENT INTO DIFFICULT MARRIAGE, DON’T ERRONEOUSLY RUSH OUT OF IT, YOUR OWN CHALLENGES MAY BE MINOR IN COMPARISON WITH YOUR NEIGHBOUR’S. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi