Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!
It is like the precious ointment upon the head, that ran down upon the beard,
even Aaron’s beard: that went down to the skirts of his garments;
As the dew of Hermon, and as the dew that descended upon the mountains of Zion:
for there the Lord commanded the blessing, even life for evermore. (Ps.133:1-3)
Conflict is inevitable in marriage because we came from different backgrounds and have different experiences. We also had different goals and aspirations in life before marriage. There is no couple that is immune from conflict. When you see poor couples quarreling, you may be tempted to feel that lack of money is the main case of marital conflicts until you see the supper rich couples fight over how to spend their money. If you also see couples fresh from honeymoon fighting, you may be tempted to conclude that marital conflicts mainly occur among young couples but I am sure you would have also seen couples who separate in their old age. Marital conflict is therefore no respecter of the status, age, or life circumstances.
Management of conflict between husband and wife refers to how you handle your reactions to your spouse during conflict. The major determinant of how far or how complex a conflict becomes is often all about how you manage such conflicts. How you manage a conflict goes a long way to determine whether the conflict will be resolved early or grow to become something really unmanageable.
As from tomorrow, we shall be looking more deeply at levels of marital conflict, marital conflict management, effects of marital conflict and various acts and lifestyles that usually generate conflict at home.
Discussion Points With Your Spouse
* Looking back at your years in marriage, what have been the most common sources of conflict?
* What are some of the lessons you have learnt about the past conflicts in your home?
Lord, teach me the wisdom that will make me to dwell together in unity with my spouse in Jesus’ name.
CONFLICT IS INEVITABLE; IT IS NOT TO SEPARATE US BUT TO MATURE US. – Dr Mike Oluniyi