MAIN TEXT: Eccl.9:8-10
Live joyfully with the wife whom you love all the days of your vain life which He has given you under the sun, all your days of vanity; …(Eccl.9:9)
Intellectual intimacy between a couple may be viewed as sharing ideas and thoughts. Such sharing may not be that they agree on the points discussed but the willingness is there to discuss. You can know if intellectual intimacy exists between you and your spouse if:
• You readily talk about your hopes and dreams and encourage each other towards the actualization of those dreams.
• You ask for each other’s opinion on actions or matters.
• You are free to disclose your fears and past to each other without reservations.
• You are so used to each other’s expression that you can suspect when your partner is not telling you the whole truth about a matter.
• You are free to open up and talk just about anything with your spouse.
Emotional intimacy means being emotionally connected to your partner in marriage. It is important because it helps a relationship to have strong bond. Couples who are emotionally intimate are able to resolve their conflicts more easily because they understand each other better and are able to communicate their feelings better. Every couple must work on building up their level of emotional intimacy for the overall good health of their relationship. The following are signs that you can notice if your relationship lacks emotional intimacy:
• You feel distant from each other.
• You find it difficult to express your emotions to each other.
• Your life is private to you.
• You find it awkward to touch each other outside the bedroom. The more you are emotionally connected, the easier it is for you to connect physically.
• When you don’t do things together.
• You find it difficult to listen to and understand each other.
Emotional intimacy is vital in a marriage, but the good news is that if you are lacking in it, you may actually work on it and improve from the present to a better level by opening up more to each other, depending more on each other, asking for the opinion of your spouse on issues and being generally more interested in each other.
If you desire to live joyfully with your spouse like the scripture for today enjoins you, there is need for intellectual and emotional intimacy. You must deliberately work on it so that your relationship will be a pleasant one.
DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
• What are the obstacles that prevent us from opening up and discussing with each other?
• How can we improve our level of communication with each other?
Father, help me to take steps to be able to connect with my spouse intimately in Jesus’ name.
THE CLOSER YOU ARE TO YOUR SPOUSE THE MORE MATTERS FOR DISCUSSION COME UP AND THE MORE CONNECTED YOU WILL BE EMOTIONALLY. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi