‘He that hath no rule over his own spirit
is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.'(Prov.25:28)
This mindset makes you to train your child to be in control of his feelings and overcome his weaknesses. It will make him to own up in his areas of weaknesses and avoid blaming others for his own errors. A self disciplined person will become a force to reckon with in life.
Self disciplined mindset will make you to emphasize the following to your children;
• There is Consequence for Wrong decisions.
Your child should be made to know that just as there is reward for good behavior, there is consequence for wrong decisions. He should be made to deliberately work on himself from going against set rules even when it is inconvenient for him to do so.
• Let her understand the golden rule.
Your children should be made to know that it is wrong for them to do unto other what they would not like to be recipients of. Let them know that if you are doing unto others what you don’t want them to do to you, you are either being outrightly wicked or a hypocrite.
Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets. (Matt.7:12)
A lot of the wickedness going on in the world today is going on because the perpetrators of those evils are not putting themselves in the shoes of those they are dealing with. Teach your child to ask himself how he would feel if what he is about doing to another person is done to him. Any child trained with such consciousness will not deliberately hurt another person.
• Instructions must be followed.
Let them know that unless permission to differ has been sought and received, instructions once given must be followed. Every human being want to be independent but the independence is often the bane of a lot of so much wrongdoing in the world. Let your child know that as much as he may want to do things his own way there must be boundaries to keep.
• Own up when wrong.
One of the major problems in the society today is that of people that instead of owing up for wrongdoing they are always looking for excuses. Anyone who gives excuse for wrongdoing will still do the same thing and even worse later in the future. Persistent looking for excuses is one of the life features of irresponsible people, there is need for your children to grow up and become responsible adults.
• Forgo present consumption to invest in the future.
Delayed gratification is one habit that makes people to be able to invest so as to reap multiple fruits in the future. Anyone who is always thinking about consumption may not amount to anything significant in the future. Consequently, every parent who has the self disciplined mindset will be mindful of making their children to learn how to forgo present pleasures to direct their resources to future gratifications.
• Let him understand due process and avoid shortcuts.
Avoiding due process is a feature of people who are not self disciplined. There is therefore the need for you to train your child to go through due process. If there is any free meal somewhere, then, someone must have paid for it. In other words, there is really no free meal anywhere. If someone encourage you to play lottery and you win instantly, just know that the fabulous amount you have won must have been used to play by numerous people who also played, hoping to win but did not. If you because you won today get encouraged to play more, all the money you a have won, and more will be given back to the lottery company! Many people get addicted to such habits of looking for quick money because they can’t follow the due process of working to get money. Train them not to jump queues, those on the line are not fools!
• Let him understand that there is time for everything.
Part of self disciplined lifestyle which you need to imbibe in your children is to do the right thing at the right time. When you do the right thing at the wrong time, you will most likely get wrong results; at the same time, when you do the wrong thing at the right time, you will still be wrong. That is why the scriptures in Ecclesiastes 3:1-8, it is stated;
To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted;…
Your relationship with your wife serves as the laboratory where to demonstrate the practice of so many of the godly values that you may wish to teach your children..
Dr. Mike Oluniyi