MAIN TEXT: Prov.1:20-22.
Wisdom calls aloud outside;
She raises her voice in the open squares.(Prov.1:20)
There are some difficult marriages in which you really have to honestly observe yourself and spouse and try to determine whether either of you is having a personality disorder. If you discover that you have such problem, it may be better for you to face it and seek medical help.
A personality disorder is a type of mental disorder in which you have a rigid and unhealthy pattern of thinking, functioning and behaving. A husband or wife with a personality disorder has trouble perceiving and relating to situations and people. This can cause a host of problems in the home which the spouse will need special skills to cope with. Personality disorder will make the one suffering from it to do some extreme things including violence behaviors. Such behaviors can destroy lives if left undiagnosed and treated.
In many cases you may not realize that you have a personality disorder because your way of thinking and behaving seems natural to you. Consequently, instead of finding solution or seeking ways of managing the situation, you may be blaming others including your spouse as the cause of your challenges.
Following is a brief mention of the various forms of personality disorders.
Paranoid Personality Disorder.
Someone with paranoid personality disorder suspects that everyone including the spouse is out to mistreat them. Such a person will not trust the spouse at all.
Schizoid Personality Disorder.
Patients who have this disorder tend to avoid social interactions. Such a husband or wife likes to be left alone, is cold or indifferent to others and does not enjoy activities with others, including sex with the spouse.
Antisocial Personality Disorder.
Patients with antisocial disorder have no regard for the rights and feelings of others. Such a person will not mind doing things that will offend spouse.
Borderline Personality Disorder.
This disorder often leads to unstable emotions and mood swings which may lead to suicidal tendencies. A spouse that is suffering from such disorder may frequently threaten to commit suicide for no serious reasons.
Histrionic Personality Disorder.
Histrionic Personality behavior in a bid to draw attention may act in an overly dramatic or emotional way. Such spouse whether male or female wants constant attention and is easily influenced by others because of the desire for the approval of others.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
This disorder causes patients to have exaggerated view of themselves or their importance often leading to arrogance. Such a wife or husband will feel that you should believe that you are privileged to have been married to him or her.
Avoidant Personality Disorder.
If your spouse is extremely shy and harbors consistent feeling of inadequacy, hesitant to confront others about their problem or experiences, and finds it difficult to express his or her feelings, it may be as a result of avoidant personality disorder.
Dependent Personality Disorder.
Those who have this personality disorder are extremely dependent on others. They find it difficult to function without the aid or encouragement of others. Such spouse will find it difficult to decide on any matter without your approval.
Obsessive- Compulsive Personality Disorder.
This disorder is characterized by a compulsion to engage in repetitive behaviors and thought patterns. If your spouse is suffering from it, she is likely to be rigid and stubborn.
DISCUSSION POINTS WITH YOUR SPOUSE
• Is there anything in my behavior that needs to be closely examined as a result of the above discussion?
Father, l receive wisdom to handle every difficult situation in my home in Jesus’ name.
IF YOU ARE ALWAYS SEEING FAULTS IN EVERY OTHER PERSON, YOU ARE PROBABLY THE ONE THAT NEEDS TO LOOK INWARDS. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi