Being a ministration by Dr. Mike Oluniyi during the Networki

ng Ministers Conference on Wednesday 21st April 2021.

Look not upon me, because I am black,
because the sun hath looked upon me:
my mother’s children were angry with me;
they made me the keeper of the vineyards;
but mine own vineyard have I not kept.(SS.1:6)

Introduction.
Often in the quest for the growth of the ministry, we abandon our family to our detriment. The demands of the ministry in terms of time, your talent and resources are so great that many pastors fail to pay adequate attention to their family in the process of doing ministry.
In the scripture above, the writer was lamenting that he kept the general vineyard, but despite all efforts, people still complained about the vineyard. However in keeping the vineyards that they were complaining about, he abandoned his own vineyard without being kept.
It is the same story in the life of many ministers of God about their families. As a passionate minister of God who loves the work of God, you will discover that the work never ends. It is either you are raising money to buy land for the church, to build, to buy musical equipments, debt of the last convention or preparing for the next one etc. You may also either be raising money to print tracts, send people on mission, sponsoring the children of some missionaries etc. It may also be that a member is sick, need school fees for the child who had been sent away from school, some youth gained admission to higher institution or a member is in one problem or the other. In many growing ministries, when pastor visits, instead of giving gifts to the pastor, that is when they will inform the pastor that the landlord has given them the quit notice.
There is consequently no end to the demands of ministry. However, you need to take note of the following concerning your spouse and children;

YOUR SPOUSE.
* YOUR MARITAL RELATIONSHIP IS THE MOST IMPORTANT AFTER THAT OF GOD.
* WHEN THERE IS PROBLEM IN YOUR MARITAL RELATIONSHIP, THE ECHO IS LOUDER THAN ANY OTHER PROBLEM IN YOUR LIFE.
* THE JOURNEY OF MARRIAGE WILL BE YOUR LONGEST JOURNEY WITH ANY INDIVIDUAL IN YOUR LIFETIME.
* ONE OF THE GREATEST HARM YOU MAY DO YOUR LIFE AND MINISTRY IS TO LOSE THE TRUST OF YOUR SPOUSE.
* IN THE HAND OF THE HOLY SPIRIT, YOUR SPOUSE IS THE GREATEST HELP FOR YOUR LIFE AND MINISTRY; ALSO IN THE HAND OF THE DEVIL, SHE MAY BE BECOME THE MOST POTENT INSTRUMENT THAT MAY BE USED TO DESTROY YOUR MINISTRY.
* THE MOST POTENT DESTROYER OF YOUR MARRIAGE IS ALTERNATIVE ATTRACTION.
* THERE IS NOTHING YOUR SPOUSE HAS DONE, WHICH SOMEONE ELSE’S SPOUSE HAS NOT DONE WORSE; THEREFORE, FORGIVE YOUR SPOUSE.
* IF YOU DISCOVER THAT YOUR SPOSE IS NO LONGER ATTRACTIVE TO YOU, YOU MAY NEED TO REALLY WATCH AND PRAY!

YOUR CHILDREN
You must be determined to give your children the best. Several of the needs of the ministry may wait and be done later, but once the education of the children either academically, religious or home training fails, you may live to regret it. This warning may sound selfish, but something happened some years back that made me to take this issue very serious. I attended the funeral ceremony of the general overseer of a big ministry in Nigeria. When it was time to read the scriptures during the service, the first son was asked to read the scriptures, but alas, he could barely read the English Bible. In fact, it was embarrassing to the ministry how he just muddled up the reading of the scripture and left the podium. You can’t blame the grown up young man. The time he was supposed to be getting the rudiments of his education, the man of God and probably mummy were busy with the Lord’s work. They probably forgot the scriptures in 1 Timothy 5:8;

But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

Often when we read this scripture, we usually conclude that it is all about money. Please be informed however that often, even money is not enough. Even if you have money to put them in a good hostel because you are too busy to take care of them at home, it means a lot to them when you come personally on visiting days and pick them personally rather than the driver when they go on holidays. Let us look at some of the dangers of not tending our vineyard concerning your children as you do ministry;
* THERE IS TIME AND PURPOSE FOR EVERYTHING.
* THE PLACE OF YOUR BIOLOGICAL CHILDREN IS DISTINCT AND CAN NEVER BE TAKEN OVER COMPLETELY BY OTHERS.
* THEY MAY BECOME REBELLIOUS TO YOUR GOD.
* WRONG TRAINING MAY BE GIVEN TO THEM AS A RESULT OF YOUR UNAVAILABILITY.
* THEY MAY ABANDON YOU DURING OLD AGE DUE TO LACK OF EMOTIONAL BONDING.
* YOU MAY BECOME A WRONG MODEL FOR YOUR MENTEES AND SPIRITUAL CHILDREN.
* THEY OFTEN LACK THE REQUISITE TRAINING TO BE ABLE TO TAKE OVER WHAT YOU HAVE LABORED FOR.

As a conclusion, if you fail to pay attention to your family, your chances of having the kind of fulfillment that led Paul to make the declaration that Apostle Paul made in 2Tim.4:7-8, will be absent towards the end of your life. Paul said;

I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith: Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing.

For a minister of God that abandoned his vineyard, either not training the children or abandoning the wife, the testimony of Apostle Paul above can’t be replicated in such life. Someone that was careless about the family can not be said to have finished well in life and ministry.
May we all receive the grace to pay attention to our vineyard in Jesus name.

‘And the Lord answered me, and said,
Write the vision, and make it plain upon tables,
that he may run that readeth it.
For the vision is yet for an appointed time,
but at the end it shall speak, and not lie:
though it tarry, wait for it;
because it will surely come, it will not tarry’ (Hab.2:2-3)

Ministry can’t be done alone. When a vision is given to you by God, there will be need for you to have those who will partner with you for the vision to become a reality, make impact and be unspotted to the end. The most important out of those that will be used to drive your vision is your spouse. Please take note of the following about your spouse:

* Any problem in your marital life speaks louder than any other problem in ministry.
* This marital journey will take about two thirds of your entire lifetime. Consequently, your spouse is the one that will make the greatest impact upon your life.
* If your spouse is a friend, you have got a lifelong friend but if she is and enemy, you have got the most potent lifelong enemy.
* Your spouse in the hand of the Holy Spirit is the greatest help that your ministry may receive; in the hand of the devil, your wife is the most potent instrument that may be used to destroy your ministry.
* Your wife will offend you but there is nothing she will do that no other person’s wife has done worse.
* Any alternative attraction to your spouse will make her less attractive to you, therefore it is deadly to your marriage.
* Your spouse is the is the only indispensable member of your ministry. Any other member may leave and be replaced without much harm, but it is not so with your spouse.

Since your spouse is so important to your life in ministry, there is need for her to cooperate and run with you in ministry.
Following are some of the principles that can help towards making your spouse to believe in and run with your vision.

1. The Principle Of Vision Sharing.
If you desire your spouse to run with your vision, he/ she must understand what your vision is all about. Does your wife know what God has called you to do? (Hab.2:2-3)

2. The principle of building according to the given pattern.
Building according to pattern is all about doing what God has shown you in the vision you were given (Heb.8:5b). Every diversion from your vision confuses your spouse and makes her to see inconsistency and reduces the trust she has in the vision.

3. The principle of goal-setting.
Goal-setting is vital for your spouse and others to know what to do next (1Cor.14:8). Your vision is so broad but you need to break it down into time-bound achievable goals. When it is in such state, it motivates everyone involved to achieve success.

4. The principle of role appreciation/ fault-blindness.
The principle of role appreciation and fault blindness propagates the appreciation of the contributions of your spouse to the ministry and the refusal to hammer on her faults. Many of us are guilty of condemning whatever our spouse does and emphasizing their faults.

5. The principle of acceptance of complementary vision.
This principle talks about accepting and co-owning the vision God has given your spouse.
Many ministers of God are at war with their spouse over the vision that God has given their spouse. There are also pastors who feel threatened about the gifts of their spouse.

6. The principle of spousal counsel and evaluation.
Spousal counsel and evaluation here is about being open enough to allow your spouse to evaluate what the ministry is doing and give a word of advice. When your wife has a say through counseling and evaluation, it gives her the feeling that you are in the ministry together. She might want to go the extra mile to ensure that things work out well for the ministry.

7. The principle of joint altar.
The principle of joint altar is such a powerful catalyst for your spouse to run with your vision. Anything you pray about, you will be on the lookout for it to come to pass.

Many ministers of God are not making maximum impact in ministry because they have failed to realize the significance of their spouse and thus are not able to carry them along in ministry.

Rev’d. Dr. Francis Bola Akin-John.

I love pastors. Through my personal ministry and various platforms, God has allowed me to partner with many, helping them address issues that are pertinent to church and ministry of today. I’ve learned that many pastors struggle to find people who will invest in them and help them grow as individuals, leaders and pastors.
Recently I had a pastor ask me for my “best advice” for other pastors. Wow! That’s hard to say. I’ve learned so much through the pastors who have invested in me and by personal ministry experiences. It’s hard to summarize all that I’ve learned. It could probably fill dozen of books, but at least I can offer some here;
Some few years back, I wrote a book, ‘101 Ministry Lessons’ about practical lessons I have learnt in decades of ministry. That book was a mighty blessings to thousands that got a copy to buy or read, judging from the testimonies received in my office. Currently, am updating the book, but decided to give some twenty one of those lessons as encouragement to pastors and gospel ministers that will have access to this.

Here are 21 words of encouragement for pastors:

1. Run from sins that sink pastors.

Yes, there are sins that are peculiar to pastoral ministry. You can abuse your high and elevated position for sex, money, fame and power. Those sins, even though done in secret will eventually sink you. People may rumor about you, but the rumor will die down naturally if you are not found culpable. But if you are secretly guilty of what you are being accused of, it will turn to scandals of great proportion that will sink your work.

2. Don’t grieve but obey the Holy Spirit of God.

Learn to walk and work in obedience to God’s Spirit. Don’t grieve the Spirit of our Father through flagrant disobedience. Seek His leading and let Him be the president of your life and ministry.

3. Choose your friends wisely… but choose friends.
Don’t attempt to lead alone. Too many pastors avoid close friendships because they’ve been hurt. They trusted someone with information who used it against them. Finding friends you can trust and be real with means you’ll sometimes get injured, but the reward is worth it.

4. The church can never love your family as much as you do.
Your family needs you more than the church does. They can get another pastor. Your family doesn’t want another you. You’ll have to learn to say “no,” learn how to balance and prioritize your time, and be willing to delegate to others in the church…. Don’t let your ministry destroy your family and equally don’t allow your family to destroy your ministry.
5. If you protect your Sabbath day, your Sabbath day can better protect you.
You’ll wear out quickly without a day a week to rejuvenate. God designed us this way. Take advantage of His provision. Take time to rest. You may not rest like everyone else… for me rest doesn’t mean doing nothing… but you need time away from the demands of ministry regularly. Lead your church to understand you can’t be everywhere every time. You owe it to yourself, your family, your church and your God.
6. You have influence… use it well.
The pastorate comes with tremendous power and responsibility. It’s easy to abuse or take things for granted. Don’t. Humility welcomes the hand of God on your ministry. Use your pastoral influence for God, not for personal enrichment or aggrandizement.
7. No amount of accountability or structure will keep you from temptation if your heart is impure.
Above all else, guard your heart. (Proverbs 4:23) Avoid any hint of temptation. Don’t let your heart go astray, because the heart of the matter is a matter of the heart. Look for the warning signs your heart is drifting. Keep your heart saturated with God’s Word and in prayer.
8. Let God lead.
You can do some things well. God can do the impossible. Whom do you think should ultimately be leading the church? You’ll be surprised how much more effective your leadership will be when it’s according to His will and not yours. See His leading. Walk and work under His divine camera.
9. Don’t ever handle the Word of God deceitfully.
Though we live in a fast changing world, yet the Word of God remains sacrosanct all the time. Believe that word and preach, teach it faithfully. Don’t try to change, innovate or twist the word to cover peoples sins or to please them. Be faithful, live the Word and teach it accordingly.
10. If you can dream it, God can dream it bigger.
Don’t dismiss the seemingly ridiculous things God calls you to do. They won’t always make sense to others or meet their immediate approval, but God’s ways will prove best every time.
11. Keep Jesus the center of focus in the church.
You’ll never have a money problem, a people problem, or a growth problem if people are one with Jesus. Preach and show Jesus to each of the people God allowed to come under your shepherdship. When Jesus is lifted up, He will surely draw men and women unto Himself
12. Your personal health affects the health of the church.
Take care of yourself relationally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. This, too, requires discipline, balance, and prioritizing, but if, to the best of your ability, you strive to be healthy in every area of your life, as a good shepherd, your people will be more likely to follow your example.
13. The people in your church deserve authenticity.
Not only should you be honest about who you, it helps to keep you from trying to meet unreal expectations. Also, it will help the people in your church to be transparent with you and others. Don’t be someone you’re not. Be someone worthy to follow, but make sure you’re living it… not just teaching it.
14. You’ll never make everyone happy.
If you try, you’ll be very unhappy… and very unproductive. Make sure your motive is pure in all you do. Do everything from the heart of love, that will compensate for not pleasing everybody.
15. Your calling is to a person… Jesus.
That means you are working for Jesus. You ultimately report to Jesus. It is the pleasure of Jesus you are seeking. There will be days your calling is challenged by others. You’ll be tempted to cave in to the pressure of those with the loudest voices. Don’t forget who holds the title to your life. It is His church, not yours. So be true to Him.
16. Use you pulpit to bless and build people for God.
Many pulpits have lost power to transform people for God because it has been polluted by immoral, unsanctified liars jesters, corrupt politicians and idolatrous traditional kings. Preach from a holy, sacred and sanctified pulpit. Preach the truth of Christ uncensored. Exhort, challenge, rebuke and inspire from your pulpit.
17. Focus on your calling and giftings.
Don’t ever dabble into what Christ did not call you into. Let your calling and gift be the undergird of your ministry. Seek to work by what he called you into.
18. Never do ministry in competition with others.
Stop comparing yourself with others, for every ministry is different. Run only according to God’s timetable for your life.
19. Be accountable to a godly mentor.
You can’t succeed in ministry when you are a Lone Ranger. Prayerfully search out a godly mentor that can hold you accountable to godly living, not someone who is only interested in your tithes and seeds. A mentor that love and respect you but doesn’t fear to speak the truth to you, always.
20. Don’t ever help God to perform spurious miracles.
Be content and prayerful to let God do His work through you. Don’t put yourself under pressure to perform miracles, just to measure up to the expectations of people. Pray for people in need, but leave the result with God. You are never a miracle worker, only Jesus is. If you go and get strange powers to prophecy and perform miracles, you are simply setting up yourself for a great fall and judgment by the Lord
21. Don’t fight for Money, Position and Power in Ministry.
Don’t ever do ministry for money. We surely need money for ministry, but we are not in ministry for money. So, stop using gimmicks to get money in ministry. There are blood money, occultic money that can be given to you that will signal the end of your ministry. Beware of money, power and position. Don’t ever fight for them. Let God give you when and how He likes it for you.
22. Be an obedient child to God.
If you read your bible very well, all those who amount to anything in life and ministry were obedient. They display complete, total, regular, continuous and consistent obedience to the Word and will of God for their lives and ministries. Is it Noah, Enoch, Abraham, Moses, Jesus Christ, Paul and down through the centuries. Make sure you imbibe the Spirit of obedience to the Lord in everything. What one obedience will do, 100 days of fasting and prayers will not do it.