DAY 8

WHAT WILL YOU NOT BE ABLE TO SACRIFICE FOR YOUR HOME?

Text. 1Cor.4:6-7.

Memory:

For who makes you differ from another? And what do you have that you did not receive? Now if you did indeed receive it, why do you boast as if you had not received it? (1Cor.4:7)

Anyone who is determined to keep his or her home must be ready to put his partner first before considering his own convenience. On many occasions, you may have to sacrifice something that is dear to you just for you to keep your home. Some of the areas in which you may likely be required to sacrifice are considered below:

PLEASURE

You may discover that what gives you pleasure may be detestable to your spouse, and if you keep on indulging in it, you may be putting a wedge in the crack in the wall of your home making the crack wider with time. As a husband, you may need to suspend buying your dream car for a greater need in the home.

TIME

Many men are so busy that they can’t afford to spend time with their family. Agreed, there are some professions demanding so much time from people. If you are really committed to your home, there must be a way of doing it just to be able to sacrifice some time for your family and find it a pleasure to be with them. Some men are so used to spending time away from home that even during their annual leave, when they are supposed to make it up for the family, they will still rather be with their friends.

Every unit of time you spend with your spouse is a wise investment.

RELATIONSHIPS

It may be the relationship between you and a friend that you have to sacrifice if it is competing with peace in your marriage. If your spouse is not comfortable with a particular friend of yours, you may need to pause and reconsider your friendship with that person, as there must be a reason why he/she is not comfortable with your friend. If you allow your home to break because of a friend, you will realize to your regrets later that the place of your spouse cannot be filled by your friend.

RESOURCES

You may be required to sacrifice a considerable amount of money or other resources towards assisting your spouse to achieve a goal which will eventually be beneficial to the family. There are women for instance who will not think of assisting their husband while he is putting up the building which will eventually be used by the family. The mistake such women make is that they will not have record of any contribution towards the building of that home in future.

If you love your home, you must be ready to sacrifice anything for it, because it will definitely be less expensive than losing the home.

Discussion Points With Your Spouse

• Are there some things so dear to you that you may not be able to sacrifice if they are competing with the well-being of your home?

• How will you feel if there is a friend whose influence on your home is negative and your spouse refused to do something about it?

PRAYER

LORD, I acquire wisdom to love my home enough to be ready to sacrifice anything to keep it in Jesus’ name.

QUOTABLE QUOTE.

IF SOMETHING IS TOO PRECIOUS FOR YOU TO SACRIFICE FOR YOUR HOME, BY THE TIME YOUR HOME BREAKS, YOU WILL DISCOVER THAT YOU HAVE BEEN A VICTIM OF SELF DECEPTION. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi.

DAY 7

NAKEDNESS IN MARRIAGE.

Text: Gen.2:24-25

Memory:

‘And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and they were not ashamed’ (Gen. 2:25)

Nakedness in marriage is about being open to each other, or the deliberate habit of not hiding anything from your spouse. Your spouse should be your greatest confidant, to whom you must cultivate the habit of communicating. As a man, you must cultivate the habit of listening to your spouse even if what she is saying appears unreasonable. It is a dangerous thing for your marriage that you become so busy that you don’t have time to sit down and share your joy, fear and anxiety with you spouse. Unless in exceptional cases, especially for ministers of God, secrets are not for couples because whatever you tell the husband is likely and must be communicated to the spouse. You must in fact make up your mind to ensure that you open up to your spouse in every situation you find yourself. Such a habit reduces tension in your life.

Everyone has some ugly past, and it is better to let your spouse know your own before he or she discovers it. Also, when you commit an error, the best person to confide in is your spouse. He or she may initially be disappointed but under normal circumstances, there are a lot of implications which your spouse will consider but which another person may not think about before exposing you.

Another vital area to be naked about is the area of finance. Often women ask, should we keep joint account with our spouse? Men also often ask whether it is reasonable for you to let your wife know how much you are earning. Except in extreme cases of abuse, the answer to the two questions will be Yes! There’s nothing wrong with your spouse knowing what you are earning, it is even good for you to keep common purse. However, even where it is not possible to keep a common purse, you will save your home a lot of misunderstandings if you can strive to be open to your spouse generally about your finances.

Following are some of the merits of being naked to each other:

1. Nakedness reduces the rate of suspicion as it increases trust.

2. Nakedness makes joint planning to be easier and it reduces wastage.

3. Nakedness reduces tension in your life.

4. Nakedness reduces the tendency to tell lies.

5. Nakedness is a reflection of personal spiritual growth.

6. Nakedness is a reflection of a life of faithfulness to marital vows.

7. Nakedness makes spiritual battles to be easy for couples to fight as there is no hiding place.

Discussion Points With Your Spouse

• Are there still areas where you find it difficult to open up to your spouse? Why?

PRAYER

LORD let me build up enough trust to be able to open up to my spouse in every area of life in Jesus’ name.

QUOTABLE QUOTE

WHEN YOU ARE HIDING FROM YOUR SPOUSE, IT IS EITHER YOU HAVE LOST TRUST IN YOUR SPOUSE OR YOU ARE NOT TO BE TRUSTED. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi.

DAY 6

MUTUAL SUBMISSION IN MARRIAGE

Main text: Eph.5:21-24.

Memory:

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. (Eph. 5:22)

The scriptures make it absolutely clear that wives must submit to their husbands for the home to succeed. In submission lies the power of a woman in the home, because it is when you are submissive and not competing in authority with your husband that you bring out the best in him that will make your home to experience peace. Contemporary experiences have also shown that the nature of man demands that the woman submits to his headship as her husband if she wants to keep her home.

Whatever may be the position of the woman at her place of work, she must recognize and feel comfortable with the place of her husband as the head of the home. When a woman is not ready to submit to the headship of the husband in the home, it brings about a lot of challenges.

A close study of other relevant scriptures such as Eph.5:23-24 and 1Pet.3:1 also make the headship of the husband at home never to be in doubt as the wife is asked to be in subjection to her husband.

As we emphasize the issue of submission for women at home, we should also point to husbands what is written in Eph.5:21;

‘Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God’

This verse makes us to realize that we must all submit ourselves to each other in the fear of God. In other words, as children of God, all of us must learn to submit to each other.

I have therefore realized from the above verse and from experience that for a healthy relationship in the home, submission should be mutual. A close look at I Corinthians 13, reveals the best description of the characteristics of pure love.

Love suffers long and is kind;… love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;…bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.(1Cor.13:4-7)

In other words, despite the submission of a virtuous wife, a husband who loves his wife does not parade himself as the commander-in-chief of the home, he is not puffed up and he does not seek his own. Consequently, he respects the view of his wife and often have to take the advice of his wife which in other words may be looked at as another form of submission.

Submission in the home should therefore be mutual if you desire to have a successful marriage just as love should be mutual.

Discussion Points With Your Spouse

• As the wife, do you find it difficult to submit to your husband as the head of the home? If no, why?

• As the husband, is it a problem for you to accept the position of your wife if she proposes better idea on some issues in the home? If no why?

PRAYER

My father and God, I pray that the wisdom to mutually submit to each other you will release to us in Jesus’ name.

QUOTABLE QUOTE

IN MUTUAL SUBMISSION, THE WIFE SUBMITS TO THE HUSBAND AS THE HEAD OF THE HOME WHILE THE HUSBAND RESPECTS THE VIEWS OF THE WIFE. – Dr. Mike Oluniyi.

DAY 5

CELEBRATING YOUR SPOUSE: THE CHALLENGE OF MUTUAL LOVE

Text: Jn.15:11-14.

Memory:

This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you.

(Jn.15:12)

Something must keep attracting you to your spouse for your marriage to succeed. For any home to stand, there is need to remember the beginnings of your relationship and keep working on your love for each other over and over again. Think about what you have been able to achieve together; think about your children; think about those qualities that God has endowed his or her life with.

Any man can fall in love, but it takes real men to sustain love.

Times will come in the lifetime of your relationship, when you will see more beautiful, handsome, intelligent, sexy, rich and probably even more ‘God-fearing’ people than the one you have married. At such times, it must be a matter of the head and not a matter of the heart for you to sustain your marriage. No matter how you feel for that other person, your spouse whom you have committed yourself to, ranks first in your life. You must understand that commitment is greater than feelings. You must identify traits in your spouse that will make you to sustain your love for him/ her. Your spouse must also do likewise, so it must be mutual for the love to be sustained.

One of the things I appreciate most in my wife is her attention to details. I keep thanking God every time for her because I don’t know what my life, business and ministry would have been without her. Details that I have long forgotten whether financial or in other areas of life are at her fingertips. She is a good complement to my own kind of personality who does not really pay attention to details. There is definitely an area where your spouse complements you. When you remember those unique qualities that God has endowed your spouse with, you cannot but keep falling in love with each other over and over again.

If you want to sustain your love, one habit that you must run away from is that of comparing your spouse with another person’s spouse somewhere. It may be true that there are certain areas where that other person’s spouse is better at but it is also very likely that there are certain things that your spouse can do better than your object of comparison.

Celebrate your spouse!

Discussion Points With Your Spouse

• Can you still remember what attracted you to your spouse that made you to propose or say ‘yes’ when you met? Do you still value it in your spouse?

• What are the unique qualities you have discovered in him/ her after marriage?

• Imagine being given the opportunity to live your life all over again, will you still marry your spouse?

Prayer Point

My father and my God, open my eyes more to those unique qualities which you have embedded in my spouse in Jesus’ name.

QUOTABLE QUOTE.

ANY MAN CAN EASILY FALL IN LOVE, BUT IT TAKES A RESPONSIBLE MAN TO SUSTAIN LOVE.